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Mystical Soul
18 February 2015, 10:12 AM
Namaste I have a concern regarding anger and puja. Recently I had an episode where I got angry at a situation and reacted by using profanity and throwing an object down (on something soft because it was my cell phone). I was not in the presence of those who had angered me, because I was informed of the situation via phone (hence the throwing). I also said some pretty profane words which none heard but me. Within 20 minutes or so I was calm. Later that day as I was doing meditation at my home shrine I remembered that after an explosion of anger one should not do puja for at least 30 days.


I normally do salutations to Lord Ganesha, jappa to Shiva, meditate, fan the flames and then bless myself with the flame.


Questions are 1. How angry is angry? I mean does someone have to be harmed from this?
2 Does anyone know the reason for it?


Theoretically, one can get angry every few days and NEVER get to puja


Thank you
Aum Namah Shiva

upsydownyupsy mv ss
20 February 2015, 12:01 PM
Hello sir, sailing on the same boat here... Anger issues with too...

People of the forum, the following may be a bit childish, and don't judge me, but.. I believe in spontaneous writing. Writing from the heart without thinking and editing.

1. I have to say this, it really is admirable that you're accepting it (a flaw) and facing it. =) Bravo sir..! ...And it takes greater courage to admit it publicly. Accepting one's flaws the first step to rectifying one's flaws and helps in greater spiritual development. It is better than Denial and Pretence... Denial "that everything is fine, I'm perfect, hey, I'm flawless. I have a right to be angry, it's righteous rage" yeah right... those are the things that certain people say to themselves..:P "I'm not angry.. me? who's angry? outside=) inside:X(" and off course, not to forget the.. "I'm not angry with me, he's the one angry with me." You're not doing any of these, so for that I admire and appreciate you. and some people use sarcasm when they're angry..."Thank you for your useless opinions."2. Mostly, anger is due to our own wrong perceptions and misunderstandings about the world and the people we see.

3. Before you get to the part where you get angry on yourself for being angry, I suggest you explore why you got angry in the first place? Is it justified like the anger of Shiva as Madanantaka, as a protector of Markandeya from Shiva's own laws, and as a mother like Kaali whose maternal instincts of protecting you and me pushed her toward becoming terrible or is it justified like the anger of Narasimha who could no longer tolerate the torments given to Prahlada and other devotees or is it the same anger as Parashurama or Rama or Shiva as Tripurantaka or Skanda's anger towards Tarakasura when they were faced with injustice, or is it the anger of Panchali and Bheem when her very pativrata dharma or chastity was put to test. If you can justify your anger, then I see no evil... But, wait! To do that you have to keep your head cool and analyze your own reasons for "anger" is a challenge, if you cannot do that, I suggest to you that you quickly come out of it by chanting "Aum Namah Shivaya" till you calm down... I see you are a Shiva devotee, just like me. The reason why we calm down thinking about god (any god, any form of the supreme) Even if anger is justified, it needs to be channelized or vanquished within oneself through various means, "Aum namah Shivaya" always works for me. Just as smoke covers fire and ultimately reduces oxygen and reduces fire burning, anger even if justified must be subject to immediate introspection and you and I should think how to put out this anger in a more positive and effective way, like the fire used by metallurgists in welding. Most importantly, it is vital to differentiate the justifications coming from the antaranga or conscience from the justifications from logic and buddhi, by using well constructed statements that are logical and making sense, the mind like a criminal genius deceives itself without knowing that it is deceiving itself.

4. If your anger is not justified, don't look for justifications, instead, calm down and introspect the cause of it. When you detect the cause, you'll be able to treat it. Don't fight the anger, fight the cause.

My personal experience(I hope I'm not unconsciously promoting myself and going against the rule book): I'm a hot blooded young man in my 20s, 22 right now. I got angry at all fanatics of all times and all religions: Christian, Hindu(Shaiva, Vaishnava), Sikh, Muslim, Muslim extremism(like ISIS, taliban) some ISKCONites, (not all, some. maybe I should underline and put it in bold, before some think this is an attack on ISKCON... "SOME" NOT ALL) and I reacted in rage right here, in these forums, and here:
http://www.hindudharmaforums.com/showthread.php?t=13627
yeah.. embarrassed right now..
so, I went back to all that which made me angry and tried to dig for the cause. I was able to subdue the beast(anger) as soon as I discovered the cause.

5. Laugh it off?
I don't know... Whenever I see something that makes me angry I just try to see the silly side of it.
whenever I see things like "My God can beat up your god (my lord is the supreme creator, yours is not!)" attitude in older adults, I used to be, "They're the same...X(" and they'd repeat... "My god... your god...." my reply again "They're the same...X(" After 100 cycles... "my god... your god...." me:X( and the response one usually receives from such people is :gotcha:and most are like:coffee:... and all the good people are like: "calm down, calm down,:hug:" that's how society is from my perspective.. that being said, I'm proud of these forums for all the good, kind people here, thank you Lord.

Here's how I feel the situation should've been....
they:"my god.. your god..:crazy:"
me: "duh... and Oranges are blue...:crazy:"

Try to look at the funny side of it.

I've seen anger in the following faces:
1.Anger on me which is justified, 2.Anger on me unjustified, 3.Anger on me which seemed justified, but due to a misunderstanding, 4.Anger by me which is justified, 5.Anger by me unjustified, 6.Anger by me which seemed justified, but due to a misunderstanding.






If it helps the Narsimha in you to cool down, here's a hug from the Prahlada in me. ("Krishna: Among, the daityas I'm Prahlada." so God is everywhere in him, in me and you)


On a last note, To err is to human, to have flaws is being human, after all, man is an animal too... but, to overcome these errors and flaws is to remain human and march toward divinity, after all, man is the pride son of god. If he fails to improve, that’s a tragedy and remains an animal.


Thank you friend.
Thank you as well friend (God).
aum namah Shivaya...aum namah Shivaya...
aum namah Shivaya...aum namah Shivaya...
aum namah Shivaya...aum namah Shivaya...


May love win over lust, may maternal anger win over demonic anger, may the devil(kali) living inside me be defeated by the god(kalki) living inside me, may justice win over injustice everywhere, may logic win over illogic, may the good things win over those bad... and Lastly, Truth always Wins, no mays. So, let truth be the sword of justice. a little feedback please. Is this post helpful?


aum namah Shivaya...aum namah Shivaya...
aum namah Shivaya...aum namah Shivaya...
aum namah Shivaya...aum namah Shivaya...

Eastern Mind
21 February 2015, 09:25 AM
Vannakkam: We bathe, we bring fresh water, we bring washed fruit, incense, and inside we feel pure in order to enter That presence. This purity is an inner offering. Anger is not a suitable offering.

Aum Namasivaya

upsydownyupsy mv ss
22 February 2015, 10:06 AM
Vannakkam: We bathe, we bring fresh water, we bring washed fruit, incense, and inside we feel pure in order to enter That presence. This purity is an inner offering. Anger is not a suitable offering.

Aum Namasivaya

Vannakkam,

what is your personal opinion from your experiences? Should anger be completely eliminated? Or can it be used positively? Is there anything good to anger? Or should it be completely vanquished and eliminated like a demon by the hands of god?

Eastern Mind
22 February 2015, 06:15 PM
Vannakkam,

what is your personal opinion from your experiences? Should anger be completely eliminated? Or can it be used positively? Is there anything good to anger? Or should it be completely vanquished and eliminated like a demon by the hands of god?

Vannakkam: My personal opinion is that it should be totally controlled, but that it takes time and discipline over many years. I think that people who claim it is somehow positive are just making excuses for their own anger, They're using the intellect to rationalise away their own poor control. If it is used positively, then it's not true anger. An example is screaming therapy by certain healers, when people who have suffered abuse go off to the forest and scream about it. For them it's a release method, and is most likely beneficial. I personally would not call that anger.

Aum Namasivaya

devotee
23 February 2015, 12:22 AM
Namaste MS,


Questions are 1. How angry is angry? I mean does someone have to be harmed from this?
2 Does anyone know the reason for it?

First of all, which authority says that once you are angry you should not do pooja for 30 days ? Never heard of this. Please explain.


Theoretically, one can get angry every few days and NEVER get to puja

Exactly !

*************

See, emotions arise due to our conditioning of mind and this conditions arise due to habits formed in many days/months/years/lifetime/births. Spiritual journey tries to erase this habit. If I have already conquered all such emotions then I think I needn't do anything else on the path of spirituality as I am already Sthitpragnya which is the desired state.

Spiritual efforts including pooja, meditation, daily rituals should not be stopped for any reasons as long as you can calm down sufficiently to do justice to the spiritual activity. Uncontrolled arising of such emotions call for more spiritual efforts and not lessening of efforts.

What should one do ?

1. Arising of emotions is a natural phenomenon as long as the conditioning of mind is not erased by spiritual practice. So, one should never get perturbed when such emotions arise. Arising of emotions don't do any harm until you get involved in the emotion. Practice of observing the phenomenon of arising of emotions and their causes without getting involved will certainly help.

2. Do more spiritual practice if there is uncontrolled emotional activity. If I am unable to control my emotions, I should double the time I usually engage in my spiritual practice : e.g. if you normally do 1000 japs of "Om Namah Shivaya" ... do it 2000 times as penance. If you normally meditate for 1 hour everyday then meditate for 2 hours as a penance.

3. Take to fruits-diet only for a day as fruit diet cleanses us of many unwanted poisons including physical and mental.

OM

upsydownyupsy mv ss
23 February 2015, 08:10 AM
Vannakkam: My personal opinion is that it should be totally controlled, but that it takes time and discipline over many years. I think that people who claim it is somehow positive are just making excuses for their own anger, They're using the intellect to rationalise away their own poor control. If it is used positively, then it's not true anger. An example is screaming therapy by certain healers, when people who have suffered abuse go off to the forest and scream about it. For them it's a release method, and is most likely beneficial. I personally would not call that anger.

Aum Namasivaya

Vanakkam,

Thank you Eastern Mind for your reply on the matter.

Your answer has actually confused me a bit more instead of clarifying a doubt of mine..:confused:

Yes, I'm familiar with this peculiar quality of the mind to rationalize wrong as right, a tendency of the mind to trap itself with unnecessary logic to actually justify what it wants to do. But, I always strive for a better understanding.

I actually thought of this explanation, but also I'm not able to construct an explanation for the following, can you help me by trying to explain what is the presence of anger doing in God? 1. What about the anger of Vishnu when he turned into Narasimha to save his devotee Prahlada, and what about the anger of 2. Shiva when he broke the laws of nature to save Markandeya, and also 3. when he burnt down Manmatha or Lust with his third eye? or even the anger of 4. Mahakaali? or even the anger of 5. Bheem when he ended his cousin Duryodhana I've been breaking my head over this for years? What conceptual metaphor is this? What I'm seeing in my perspective when I look at your answer is that, this person is sattvic, the ras of patience and tolerance of brahmanathva, it is fairly logical and sensible that peace-loving people shun anger, but what is anger doing in depiction of god and great heroes? Or is it something different from anger, that I'm misinterpreting that emotion as anger which is completely different from anger.

On the other side, it was Parashurama who asked his father Jamadagni to completely eliminate the anger within Jamadagni, which burnt his mother and brothers Jamadagni does succeed in throwing anger out of his mind and body and grants his son's wish. This story does support your view.

But, on a further note, when resurrected Jamadagni gets killed in the hands of Karthaviryajuna's sons, Parashurama goes on a rampage killing his entire clan.

At a moment your argument seems logical, the moment I run to accept it, I'm stopped by these other stories and concepts as speedbreakers.

There are arguments and counter-arguments taking place in mind right now regarding the role of anger. Please, I request you to continue this discussion in this regard, and help me resolve my doubts Eastern Mind. Thank you for your patience and a wonderful reply.:)

upsydownyupsy mv ss
23 February 2015, 08:13 AM
Namaste MS,

3. Take to fruits-diet only for a day as fruit diet cleanses us of many unwanted poisons including physical and mental.

OM

namaste Devotee,
thank you for the suggestion on fruits. I often forget the role of the food in the workings of the body and the role of body in influencing the mind...:D

Eastern Mind
23 February 2015, 12:22 PM
Vanakkam,

Your answer has actually confused me a bit more instead of clarifying a doubt of mine..:confused:
:)

Vannakkam: This is easy for me, because not for one minute do I believe in the Puranas as literal.

If anthropomorphised Gods doing violent acts in any way was my religion, I'd find a new one right away. I don't discard the Puranas outright, as I do think that perhaps hidden under all that is some sort of lesson. But it would have to be metaphoric.

In my opinion, if any person was to justify his anger by claiming that if God can get mad, then why can't I, he's out of touch with our faith ... and the fact that ahimsa is central to it.

This is in the same realm, but obviously not as severe as Hitler using the Bhagavas Gita to justify his horrendous actions.

But I won't argue endlessly on this, just as I won't argue with the people who support cannabis as an aid to meditation.

If you want to smoke up, go for it. It's not my business.
If you want to get angry, go for it. It's not my business.

Aum Namasivaya

upsydownyupsy mv ss
23 February 2015, 01:20 PM
Vannakkam
Eastern Mind,

Thank you for bringing me out of the 'literal' interpretation of the puranas, I almost forgot the situations are used to depict the Bhaava Artha of the complex phenomena of the world. I almost slipped the wrong way down the slippery mud slope after the rain, thank you for holding my arm and pulling me back up.:D

Wow. Well now, that was cleared and dumped outside my system.:)

Mystical Soul
03 March 2015, 09:05 PM
Namaste MS,
First of all, which authority says that once you are angry you should not do pooja for 30 days ? Never heard of this. Please explain.
OM
Namaste, first of all thank you for your response. I was not aware that anyone had answered this post because I got no e mail notifications. So, forgive the delayed response.

The "authority" which I quote is from The editors of Hinduism Today magazine. It is from an article on how to do home pooja. It also says not to do pouja if you have a wound or have bled recently. To read the article in entirity page 204 in the book entitled "What Is Hinduism". I have seen it other place too, but I cannot recall where.

I hope this helps. Thank you again for taking the time to respond
Aum Namah Shiva

sunder-bangalore
06 March 2015, 11:30 AM
Anger results from thwarted desire.

It is important to keep doing your sadhana or spiritual practice. As it becomes more ingrained, it will result in greater vairagya ( dispassion ) which will slowly release the hold of anger ( and desire ) on your mind.

silence_speaks
06 March 2015, 06:20 PM
Namasthe!

If you feel that you are impure because of anger ... that is when you need purity and therefore you should reach out to god at the earliest.

I am not sure where you picked up this idea that you should not chant God's name or pray for 30 days. If you feel some impurity , that is all the more a reason to reach out to God.

Relax and surrender to God. Chant his name. There is no inappropriate moment for that.

devotee
06 March 2015, 09:12 PM
Namaste, first of all thank you for your response. I was not aware that anyone had answered this post because I got no e mail notifications. So, forgive the delayed response.

The "authority" which I quote is from The editors of Hinduism Today magazine. It is from an article on how to do home pooja. It also says not to do pouja if you have a wound or have bled recently. To read the article in entirity page 204 in the book entitled "What Is Hinduism". I have seen it other place too, but I cannot recall where.

I hope this helps. Thank you again for taking the time to respond
Aum Namah Shiva

Forget it all ! Please stay away from such "authorities" for ever. I second what Silence_speaks says.

OM

Ametyst
14 March 2015, 08:56 AM
Devotee,
empty your message inbox please, I can't reply to your message.

Regarding anger, I recently had big anger issues and trying to find a way to cope with them. Mantra chanting is helping me..

devotee
22 March 2015, 04:33 AM
Dear Ametyst,

You can pm me now. I have cleared old messages.

OM

Seeker2011
26 March 2015, 01:56 PM
Namaskar,

Interesting thread. Being a hot head myself anger management is very important to me. If someone is rude/abusive/insults me I get hurt and angry and my behavior then becomes shameful as I stoop to their level. If I can then be alone for a while by chanting mantra or thinking about total surrender to God or deep breathing I regain my composure, though it may take a while. However this approach is not helpful when I have to be with and keep interacting with others who are hostile to me. Can someone offer an instant remedy - how to relax and gain control over myself really fast when in such a situation ?

Om Shanti Shanti

Aanandinii
26 March 2015, 10:33 PM
Namaskar seeker,

Namaskar,

Interesting thread. Being a hot head myself anger management is very important to me. If someone is rude/abusive/insults me I get hurt and angry and my behavior then becomes shameful as I stoop to their level. If I can then be alone for a while by chanting mantra or thinking about total surrender to God or deep breathing I regain my composure, though it may take a while. However this approach is not helpful when I have to be with and keep interacting with others who are hostile to me. Can someone offer an instant remedy - how to relax and gain control over myself really fast when in such a situation ?

Om Shanti ShantiI also had this problem at one time, and it is getting better but I don't know if there's a fast way to change it. Speaking only for myself, I try to be aware of when I find myself in a situation where my annoyance or temper might get triggered, then I focus more actively on my breathing, go inwards and chant my mantra. If someone does something that would set me off, I try to remember instead of getting mad, to bow to God in the form of that person and thank Him for presenting Himself to me in this way. I am not always successful - less so in the past and with practice I am more so now. What was a very stressful commute several years ago is almost placid now. When I fail, I let it pass through me without self-judgement and without reacting to the feeling that are passing through. I simply acknowledge they're there and then let them go and repeat the process I mentioned earlier, after the fact. Over time and with practice I react less and bow during the fact more.

I hope this is of some small help.

~Pranam

Mystical Soul
27 March 2015, 10:25 AM
Namaskar seeker,
I also had this problem at one time, and it is getting better but I don't know if there's a fast way to change it. Speaking only for myself, I try to be aware of when I find myself in a situation where my annoyance or temper might get triggered, then I focus more actively on my breathing, go inwards and chant my mantra. If someone does something that would set me off, I try to remember instead of getting mad, to bow to God in the form of that person and thank Him for presenting Himself to me in this way. I am not always successful - less so in the past and with practice I am more so now. What was a very stressful commute several years ago is almost placid now. When I fail, I let it pass through me without self-judgement and without reacting to the feeling that are passing through. I simply acknowledge they're there and then let them go and repeat the process I mentioned earlier, after the fact. Over time and with practice I react less and bow during the fact more.

I hope this is of some small help.

~Pranam
Namaskar, Pranam,
your message is helpful to me. I will practice it. It is important to know our triggers. For me it is crowds, esp when I am already tired. Chanting mantras in advance is a very good suggestion. I mean why wait until I am already triggered?
Thank you
Aum

Seeker2011
30 March 2015, 06:35 AM
Namaskar Aanandinii,

Your suggestions seem to be of immense help. Will practise it. Thanks for sharing.

Om Shanti Shanti

surrenderindailylife
04 April 2015, 03:11 AM
Namaste Mystical Soul

Hari Om




Theoretically, one can get angry every few days and NEVER get to puja



IMHO "Puja" in simple words is a sincere & loving prayer to a Higher Power ('HIM'). As long this prayer is sincere and is soaked in love (devotion), I feel it can be done anytime. It is all the more effective when one is able to 'witness' one's shortcoming (anger) but is somehow not able to find a way to overcome it. In such cases puja becomes a tool for surrender.


Om Namah Shivay

Believer
05 April 2015, 08:50 PM
Namaste,

Many wise words have been said in this thread and the following are some samples.

Anger results from thwarted desire.

It is important to keep doing your sadhana or spiritual practice. As it becomes more ingrained, it will result in greater vairagya ( dispassion ) which will slowly release the hold of anger ( and desire ) on your mind.

If you feel that you are impure because of anger ... that is when you need purity and therefore you should reach out to god at the earliest.

However, they are all personal opinions and I do agree with most of them. What is needed is the scriptural reason(s) for not doing the puja for a duration after getting angry. It is very convenient to bring in our personal opinions when we don't know the reasons behind a particular injunction. Perhaps a 'learned person'/Guru might be able to shed some light on this. The closest I have seen is EM hinting that anger is not an appropriate offering for puja. But if the person has calmed down after an episode, why should (s)he abstain from performing puja and for how long? I suspect there are some solid reasons behind it and just brushing the issue aside with PERSONAL opinions does not do justice to it.

Pranam.