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Chok
10 January 2016, 03:25 AM
Dear knowledge seekers,

As per my understanding, one of the key message of Gita is to do our actions ( Karma) selflessly, and do not think of the reward /benefit from it. I am in dilemma and finding it very difficult to know what is my Karma - which option should I choose.

Just to give a quick context I work outside India and my parents stay in India. I am the only child of my parents and they are growing old . In this case what is my Karma



To return back to India and stay with my parents - take care of them as they are growing old


OR



Continue working from outside India as professionally am quite successful here and prospect of growth is much better here . I should not mix emotions with actions.


Request to kindly share your views and help me realize the path suggested in Gita. In case I have misunderstood the teaching then please correct me .

Regards
Chox

Believer
13 January 2016, 03:00 PM
Namaste Chok,

Interpreting the shastras by conditioned souls like us is not easy as we tend to put a layer of our personal thinking on top of whatever it is that the shastras say. Keeping that in mind, I will give you my perspective which could be different from what you or other forum members think - Selfless karma (action) dictates that you take care of your aging parents while taking care of your financial and other obligations towards your own spouse and children (assuming that you are a family man). In that capacity, you could stay in India with your parents to take care of them and accept the diminished level of income for the duration that they are alive. Once they are gone, you will be free to decide where to live based on how much pleasure you get out of the lifestyle you choose. If that solution is not palatable to you then you could stay where you are and increase the frequency of your visits to your hometown to provide some solace to your aging parents. I am sure deep down you know what is the right thing to do and you are just seeking an affirmation from us.

Pranam.

devotee
13 January 2016, 11:09 PM
Namaste Chok,



As per my understanding, one of the key message of Gita is to do our actions ( Karma) selflessly, and do not think of the reward /benefit from it. I am in dilemma and finding it very difficult to know what is my Karma - which option should I choose.

Karma is related to your motive behind the action and your attachment to fruits of your actions. That state is the highest state where a seeker is able to perform all actions without any motive thinking that all actions are due to gunas of Prakriti and he is not the doer. However, Bhagwad Gita guides on our various stages of spirituality. The above is for the seekers who have attained a relatively higher stage in spirituality. Those who are not there but are striving to be there, there are other instructions e.g. Perform the action for the sake of God ("Matkarma parmo bhavah") and for the sake of benefit of helping others ("Sarvabhoothite rataah").

See, God is not alien to us. He is not a being and neither He is a non-being. The best place to see God is in the heart of people around us ("Aham AtmAn GudAkesha sarvabhootAshaya sthitah"). Parents are equated to God in Upanishads. So, if you are unable to see God in your parents, there is no God who is waiting for you outside.


Just to give a quick context I work outside India and my parents stay in India. I am the only child of my parents and they are growing old . In this case what is my Karma



To return back to India and stay with my parents - take care of them as they are growing old


OR



Continue working from outside India as professionally am quite successful here and prospect of growth is much better here . I should not mix emotions with actions.


Request to kindly share your views and help me realize the path suggested in Gita. In case I have misunderstood the teaching then please correct me .

In spite of whatever I said above, your questions cannot be answered by anyone except you. Why ? We don't have all the information available to us for suggesting you what to do in this situation. You are the best judge. I will give you some tips which may help you to find the correct answer :

a) First of all, we must take care here that your career and your parents are both important. Your parents can't be happy if you take a decision which spoils your career. Moreover, you must be financially healthy to help your parents in their old age. They will gradually need 24-hours care, regular medical assistance etc. Even if you are in India, you will need to go outside for your work as you can't earn staying at home.

b) Parents need to talk and share their thoughts with their children much more than they need anything. Loneliness is what hurts them the most because in absence of children, their life becomes so lonely. Take care to spend some time with them daily. Even you are able to spare 15 minutes / 30 minutes just for them, they will feel happier. Even if you are outside, make a habit to talk to them almost daily at a fixed time for say, 15 minutes or even 5 minutes.

c) If you can afford to come to India, it is better. However, if you can't then talk to them on daily basis, go on holidays with your family to spend time with them at least once in a year. Call them to the country you stay and ask them to stay with you for some time.

d) The biggest problem will be if your parents are too old and they need constant care. In such a case, it is better to either shift to India or bring them to stay with you to live till they are alive.

e) Please don't think that your parents don't understand your problems when you are staying abroad. Don't think that they are not aware of your career issue which is involved here. Talk to them and talk to them regularly and share your dilemma with them. Take a collective decision. You need to involve your spouse and children too (if you are married) in any such decision. It is highly desirable that you talk to your parents as a whole family involving all members of your family. This develops the required bonding and alleviates the pains of physical separation.

OM

Ashish_Marathe
07 February 2016, 02:47 PM
Hello there,

In a few years when you'll grow old and weak, what would you want your only child to do - look after you or prefer success and growth? Also when you were young and helpless, how you would have felt if your parents had given you away, say to an anathashram, considering you a hindrance to their success and growth?

Take care of your parents.

Ashish...

bhaswathy
07 February 2016, 10:47 PM
If you take all the precautionary measures for their comfort and emotional security , you can lead the life where you are . No parent misunderstands the child for not being physically present with them ,day in and day out.At least that's what I sincerely feel being an aged parent my self . I tell my children that I am happy if they are happy , successful in life . when the care is taken by attending to their physical , emotional , financial security one has done one's duty in the present day world with all the trappings of modern day pressures

harih
18 February 2016, 04:51 AM
See if you can get a suitable job in your native place. If yes, then by all means move there. To take care of parents is dharma of paramount importance.

ajay
01 September 2016, 06:23 AM
Namaste Harih,

Another way to decide on the right course of action is by following your intuition that arises in your mind in meditation or from the state of awareness.

As Swami Krishnananda , the former president of the Sivananda Mission stated, "The ability to perform right action is the same as the ability to maintain a balance of consciousness."

Pranams,

Anirudh
01 September 2016, 04:13 PM
Deleted because this is a old thread and the OP hasn't made any other post than this one.


I really don't know why members wish to post on old thread which won't make any sense to OP.