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sunyatisunya
22 April 2009, 10:56 PM
I couldn't find a perfect forum to place this topic in but I'm really interested in knowing what the meditators out there think about the value of a continent life in regards to spiritual practice.

Generally, in my life, I prefer to trust my own experience and intuition over that of others, even if they are respected minds in their particular field. This extends into the sexual life - and, personally, I have found that not engaging in regular sexual contact is very helpful for meditation and its related fields of study.

I neither agree with the pre-Sexual Revolution attitudes which scoffed at all sexual activity as "sinful" or the post-Sexual Revolution attitudes that frequent sex/masturbation is necessary to good health. Fact is, after I ejaculate, I feel very different for at least a day. Perhaps it is the force of the orgasm - I do not have local-only orgasms in the genital area, my whole body gets involved in a dramatic way and the intensity of orgasm seems to take its toll.

The most extensive piece of writings hosted online that I have found on the issue of continence and its supposed health benefits is http://www.ktk.ru/~cm/contin.htm (http://www.ktk.ru/%7Ecm/contin.htm) this book. You can read the whole thing there. Now, I've researched the author a bit and he seems to have been a sort of quack in his field, so his information is bound to be contrary to what all the popular movements are pushing. I kind of like that, though. It reminds me of something I just read - some "hair specialists" saying that it is absolutely necessary to use salon formula hair products to have healthy, clean hair. Well, I haven't used anything but water in my shoulder-length hair in MONTHS and my hair is beautiful. These groups have an agenda, always. I like the people who step outside of that prison.

Anyone any thoughts on all of this? Experience? I have pretty good control over myself - living an entirely continent life would come natural to me as I am not inclined to intimate, sexual relationships in the first place.

devotee
23 April 2009, 10:19 PM
Namaste SS,

I don't think anyone can satisfy you with his answer as you already have a pretty strong opinion about this subject. Then why this post ? May be you want to reinforce your opinion.

Anyway, my opinion is :

Is sexual activity a sin ? Not in the sense we have our concept of 'sin' ... as it is not harmful unless you force it on to someone else. However, my definition of sin, off late, has extended a little. Sin is any activity which drives me away from God/Self. Any craving, any thought which takes me towards seeking satisfaction in worldly things drives me away from God/Self. Sex is one of the most powerful hungers in man. It leaves deep impression on our mind & replays in mind again & again even after satisfaction of the hunger ... increases our craving for having it one more time. It is worth noting that though this hunger is extremely powerful, it is not an absolute necessity for life. The child is happier until the sexual-urges rise in him/her. A brahmachari lives quite happily without ever tasting it. There is no harm in not-having sex but it leads to addiction sort of situation the more you do it.

Married couples need to come too close due to their unique relationship & that leads to natural urge for sexual activity. It can lead to marital tension, if one of the couple tries to force abstinence from sex in this relationship which is not a healthy situation.

So, my opinion is that sex is not a necessity & is better to be avoided but if one is married, it is ok to enjoy sex in moderation.

OM

sunyatisunya
24 April 2009, 03:43 PM
Namaste SS,

I don't think anyone can satisfy you with his answer as you already have a pretty strong opinion about this subject. Then why this post ? May be you want to reinforce your opinion.

Anyway, my opinion is :

Is sexual activity a sin ? Not in the sense we have our concept of 'sin' ... as it is not harmful unless you force it on to someone else. However, my definition of sin, off late, has extended a little. Sin is any activity which drives me away from God/Self. Any craving, any thought which takes me towards seeking satisfaction in worldly things drives me away from God/Self. Sex is one of the most powerful hungers in man. It leaves deep impression on our mind & replays in mind again & again even after satisfaction of the hunger ... increases our craving for having it one more time. It is worth noting that though this hunger is extremely powerful, it is not an absolute necessity for life. The child is happier until the sexual-urges rise in him/her. A brahmachari lives quite happily without ever tasting it. There is no harm in not-having sex but it leads to addiction sort of situation the more you do it.

Married couples need to come too close due to their unique relationship & that leads to natural urge for sexual activity. It can lead to marital tension, if one of the couple tries to force abstinence from sex in this relationship which is not a healthy situation.

So, my opinion is that sex is not a necessity & is better to be avoided but if one is married, it is ok to enjoy sex in moderation.

OM

I like to hear as many perspectives as possible on these types of issues. It's not that my opinion on it is set in stone through blindly adhering to one side - this is what I've learned personally and it happens to agree, mostly, with lots of teachings from yogic traditions about continence being conducive to spiritual life.

I agree with what you wrote. I notice a wonderful pattern that happens when one is successfully established in continence - the desire gradually becomes less, not more. It seems strange, right? I've found that the more I engage in sex, the more the desire continues, like you said. And the less i engage in it, the residual impressions and desires remain but the need to fulfill them becomes lesser to the point where it seems almost a foreign concept. Like, at the moment, I could not conceive of engaging in sexual activity at all. I know the steps I would take to get into that state of mind where it becomes possible, but from where I am now it seems a bit pointless. It feels good, there's no tension or repression going on. It's like the candle flame of desire has burned out and I have the choice of re-lighting it.

Besides the spiritual benefits, being able to turn the mind to the spiritual practices and away from gross pleasures, I feel %110 physically at all times.

Atman
07 May 2009, 03:43 AM
Yes I agree, I was terribly unfortunate to have a re-lapse a couple of days ago, and believe me I felt awful, and a feeling of helplessness and craving for that orgasm.
I would urge you to visit www.celibacy.info (http://www.celibacy.info)- excellent tips for those wishing to practice brahmacharya for spiritual life.