View Full Version : ...fun quotes

12 September 2009, 08:19 PM
hariḥ oṁ

I read some of these today and thought others may find a laugh or two in them…or even a word of truth.

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day; tomorrow's not looking good either.
Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.
Money is a good servant, but a bad master.
Only dead fish go with the flow.
Simplicity of character is the result of profound thought.
You cannot tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm
Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.

kd gupta
13 September 2009, 08:11 AM
Hello, myself a poet and you ?
A deaf.

Eastern Mind
13 September 2009, 08:37 AM
Life is tough, then you die.

You want it when?

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

13 September 2009, 10:55 AM
1. There is no excuse for being lazy ... but I am working on it !
2. Behind every successful man there is a woman ... telling him that he is wrong !
3. You may find my room in mess but please sit down & converse. It is not always like this, sometimes it is even worse !
4. Once upon a time there was a happy man ... & then he got married !
5. DO IT NOW ! ... because there may be a law against it tomorrow !!

kd gupta
13 September 2009, 11:05 AM
So, you have come.
If you are not blind.

13 September 2009, 01:20 PM
When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets!
Swallow your pride occasionally. It's non-fattening.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.
Two wrongs don't make a right - three lefts do.
You can't be late until you show up.
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

13 September 2009, 05:04 PM
hariḥ oṁ


We occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of us pick ourselves up and hurry on as if nothing happened.

13 September 2009, 06:55 PM
hariḥ oṁ


Intelligence is like underwear, everyone should have it, but we shouldn't show it off.

14 September 2009, 10:29 AM
hariḥ oṁ


Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.

14 September 2009, 07:26 PM
hariḥ oṁ


The pot does all the boiling, yet the plate gets the applause.

15 September 2009, 01:38 PM
hariḥ oṁ


He who laughs last didn't get the joke.

15 September 2009, 02:29 PM
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.

15 September 2009, 02:33 PM
hariḥ oṁ


It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. ...most excellent!

kd gupta
27 September 2009, 09:07 AM
So you are a bodily winner, but how ?

First I use my mouth to scold , then hands to fight and...feet to run away.

27 September 2009, 10:22 AM
• At a level crossing:
Train the mind to mind the train.

• Two guys meet on the train platform. They are both waiting for the 1:58 to Chicago, which is late again.

The first says, "Finally, here it comes. You know, this train comes 4 minutes late every day!"

The second replies, "Yeah, I know. Last week I had to wait from two to two to two-two too."

• Although the tongue weighs very little, few people are able to hold it.
- Unknown

• A committee takes hours to put into minutes what can be done in seconds
- Judy Castrina

• A house is made of walls and beams; a home is built with love and dreams.
- Dr. William Arthur Ward

• A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost

• A yawn is a silent shout. - G. K. Chesterton

• Children are like mosquitoes-the minute they stop making noise, they're into something. - Unknown

• Even a woodpecker owes his success to the fact that he uses his head.
- Unknown

• Forget yourself for others and others will not forget you. - Unknown

• He who buries his talent is making a grave mistake. - Unknown

• I'm not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen

• Income is something you can't live without or within. - Unknown

• Lack of money is the root of all evil. - George Bernard Shaw

• Many a child who watches television for hours will go down in history---not to mention arithmetic, English and geography. - Unknown

• Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
- Mae West

• People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.
- Unknown

• Specialist: a man who knows more and more about less and less.
- Dr. William J. Mayo

• The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.
- Unknown

• The human brain is like a freight car-created to hold a large capacity but often running empty. - Unknown

• The mighty oak was once a little nut that stood its ground. - Unknown

• The right angle to approach a difficult problem is the "try-angle".
- Unknown

• The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. - Lily Tomlin

• What we are is God's gift to us. What we become is our gift to God.
- Unknown

• Where all think alike, no one thinks very much. - Walter Lippmann

• You can win more friends with your ears than with your mouth. - Unknown

27 September 2009, 02:17 PM
hariḥ oṁ


By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth - George Carlin

02 October 2009, 11:02 AM
• The mighty oak was once a little nut that stood its ground. - Unknown

^ I really like that one. :)

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
The things that come to those who wait may be the things left behind by those who got there first.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
Light travels faster than the speed of sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

03 October 2009, 02:15 PM
hariḥ oṁ


The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightening and the lightening bug.

Mark Twain

03 October 2009, 02:50 PM

The dentist asked the patient "Would you like something for pain?" To which the patient answered "No, No thank you I am married."


kd gupta
02 December 2009, 09:35 AM
The Knowledge

Pl. go and stand at the last in line .
But , one man is already standing there .

kd gupta
09 May 2010, 08:33 AM
There is poverty in India , an actress told .
No , not for nudes , Indian replied .
But why , she asked ?
Because they are animals .

09 May 2010, 10:47 AM
"The ostrich does not need beautiful wings to fly"
"but, it doesn't fly..."

-Me, expounding "wisdom" to a friend. I suppose it can also be used as advice in situations like someone wanting an expensive cell phone when they would probably not call anyone anyway.