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Faithful servant108
22 February 2010, 01:28 PM
Okay.... I'm in my early 20s, Asian, listens to Prabhupada's lectures daily... I discovered the Krishna consciousness movement by Srila Prabhupada three years ago. It has brought me great happiness and joy....but unfortunately it has really brought my relationship with family to an all time low.

To the point where they can't stand me anymore.... I tend to avoid them...and avoid confrontations....during get togethers...I'm very aloof from the stuff they talk about because I belive its just as bunch of foolish matters that pertains to their never ending greed for lust and materialistic conquest.

I currently got laid off and they're using my unemployment as a way to kick me out of the house. At this point...I dont know...in the scriptures..it says its not a good idea to be controlled by the nature of lust, greed and anger....But at this point...I am slightly angered by my parents and have realized....that Prabhupada was right....love in this material world is simply conditional...but when one's love is sincerely given to Krishna...he will never let you down like my parents just did.

They gave me the option...that I either find a stable job that makes around 30 grand a year....or I should join the millitary. Which I do not want to do by the way because I know Krishna and Prabhupada would be totally against that.
They have given me one month or they're gonna kick me out of the house...out in the streets.

What should I do???? At this point in time...I'm thinking... No !Id love to live out Brahmacharya order of my life and just be initiated
to a sincere Temple and live there for a year or two.
I'll get an unemployment check....and that should be enough to board a plane, get a cab and become a full time devotee.

What do you guys think???? Any suggestions??

satay
22 February 2010, 04:31 PM
namaskar,



What should I do????
What do you guys think???? Any suggestions??

I think you should listen to your parents and get a job.

sanjaya
22 February 2010, 04:41 PM
I agree with Satay. Listening to your parents is more important than the specific form of religiosity you practice.

smaranam
22 February 2010, 04:51 PM
Namaste Failthful Servant

Satayji gives practical advice. What it does is , you still have a choice of serving in a Temple and if it comes to that, join an ashram LATER. You are quite young, and a hasty decision could be very well be emotional rather than a result of devotion.


1. Always respect your parents, and try to understand where they are coming from about this. PrabhupAd himself, and his disciples or any spiritual Gurus will advice the same.

2. Your parents are right in their own way. They are worried about you. They don't want to abandon you, but give you an ultimatum hoping you will "come to your senses" in their view. Although their approach may not be appealing, they are humans who care about their child's future.

3. Give your parents some more time, to come to terms with your religious practice. Do not be fanatical with them or others in speech, and even thought. Hare KRshna Temple life is quite a drastic difference from the mainstream world.
Other paths in Hinduism may not demand a big change.
Nor will HK path for that matter. It is our illusion that "Oh, how terrible that I cannot keep deities" "So unfortunate that I cannot wear tilak" etc. One must learn to discriminate between illusiory mandates as means (sadhana) versus the ultimate essence and purpose - that should not be defeated.

4. By earning money, you are putting your parents at peace, being self sufficient, and will be able to better serve KRshna with the Lakshmi you earn. You want to remain bramhachari, that's very wise, a job will not come in the way. Dedicate your mornings, evenings, weekends to the Temple.

5. Make a conscious effort to stay away from fanaticism , practicing tolerence and open-mindedness in all walks of life. Sorry if that sounded like "big words" , but you know what I mean. Other paths of Hinduism are equally precious, and they are there for a purpose. Let the sweetness remain in exclusiveness of Krshna Bhakti , by keeping it within the group, sampraday.

6. Lord Chaitanya adviced Rupa and Sanatana Goswami to keep their bhakti a secret and continue service at the muslim kazi's office (or whoever he was) till the right time comes. And then what ? At the right time , Chaitanya Mahaprabhu took charge of the two. Gave them most precious assignments. (C. Charitramrt) . Moral - keeping it low in the beginning helps.

I wish you all the best.

bhaktajan
22 February 2010, 06:14 PM
Faithful,

Immediately join the temple. Immediately!

All other options will still be there [after the war and before the next war too].

To best honor your parents as wellwishers this is your chance.

The economy can survive without you.

You are 100% correct. After the tapasya you will be best fit for any additional field of work you choose.

The catch is: This is not for whimsical living. It means really being trained-up as a Gentleman, scholar, brahmana & Human-Being par excellance.

Your parents advise is right and the only alternitive ---But, you are proposing a period of yogic training as the best training available.

The best time is Now! In your early twenties is best. You will be further disciplined and will naturally seek higher and higher educational paths after your stay at the ashram. Get initiated and then later proceed from there.

ISKCON ashram life will be the best schooling you could ever jope & pray for for zillions of births.

There is no need to fear that you'll be persuaded to stay longer than necessary ---your two-year plan is excellant --and IMO, is the standard & preferable way to proceed.

And if you can live temporarily in temple [say two years]-- your parents will be made so proud ---but that is predicated that you stay the course and not leave the temple due to lust etc etc ---if you don't complete the stay, or find it was never what you really were cut-out for: a] you'll have good habits for life & b] You'll feel like you cannot be taken at your word.

Vaishnav brahmacarya is the apex of Hindu vedanta.

sarva bhadram as tu te,
Bhaktajan

ScottMalaysia
22 February 2010, 09:08 PM
From what you've said, it seems like your parents are angry with you because you don't have a job and are using their resources (food, electricity, Internet etc) without contributing to the cost, not for religious reasons.

My advice to you would be to get a job. I know it's very difficult at the moment, at least in New Zealand, but even working in a supermarket would be better than nothing. It would show your parents that you were able to get out there and hold down a job, rather than staying at home all day.

An alternative would be to enrol for a course at university or college. I know in New Zealand, you can get a loan from the government to pay your fees and this loan will provide you with money to live on as well. I'm not sure what it's like in America, but enrolling in a course would at least show your parents that you want to do something with your life.

With regard to the temple: if you're really interested, see if there's a way that you could stay at a temple for a few days with the devotees. Try to stay for at least a week, and at the end of that week, think to yourself if you could live like that for the next few years, or for the rest of your life.

Since you're interested in Gaudiya Vaishnavism, I would recommend the Gaudiya Math. You can find a list of their centres here (http://www.purebhakti.com/contact-us/centers-mainmenu-60.html) - they have quite a few in the US. Their guru is Srila Bhaktivedanta Narayana Maharaj, who was initiated by Bhakti Prajnana Kesava Goswami, the guru who initiated Srila Prabhupada into Sannyasa. Srila Prabhupada maintained a very good relationship with Narayana Maharaj, and when he was dying, he told his disciples to contact Narayana Maharaj and ask him to perform his funeral rites.

Why am I saying this? Because Narayana Maharaj is nowhere near as fanatical as ISKCON. He focuses more on people's sincerity, not on how many rounds they chant every day or other external things. ISKCON says that sex in marriage for pleasure is wrong. Narayana Maharaj told me "I am not responsible for your behavior in grhasta ashram. If you can live like human beings, respect each other, this will be very good and very favorable for your spiritual progress."

Mohini Shakti Devi
23 February 2010, 12:12 AM
Krishna says, "I am the spirit of adventure" Gita.

As everyone has been posting above, they all suspect that the OP represents a "non-sense".

FS108, the presumption is that you are a 24 year old "non-sense".

A "non-sense" is a neglectful & procrastinating & petty & irresponsible person. This would drive parents to the point of nervous break down.

it does seem that to be the case because of the word 'asian'.

Filio-piety is the norm in extended Asian families.

OTOH, if you do go to stay at the temple then remember,

Do not tell your plans to those that are not your wellwishers.

Don't do it cold turkey. Do bring friends. Go alone to stay with those already their. Pick an ashram in a locale as per the climate, and also one that allows easy return to your home town is nice too.

it is all about being schooled in old-school yoga.

Actually six-months + soon later, another six-months is plenty of time to develop good (yogic) habits. That's as good as it gets.

Ramakrishna
23 February 2010, 12:51 AM
Namaste,

You have been given great advice so far, and I say to do what most others have said so far: try to find employment. Even if it's not 30 grand a year, at least find a job that can make you something. At first I thought you were going to say your parents were kicking you out because of your religion, but it's clear that they are kicking you out because they want you to do something with your life.

I understand if you feel the strong urge to live a monastic life in a temple or ashram. But you must remember that a lot of us feel that urge at one time or another, but very few of us are actually called to do so. As Scott said, see if you can live in a temple for a few days or a week and see if that is the type of life you really want to live. If it is, then perhaps you should forget about the job and instead pursue that life.

In the end, it's all up to you. As I said, living a monastic life in a temple or ashram is very serious stuff, and it may not be suitable for you. Bhaktajan was correct in saying that it is not all about "whimsical" living. It is predominantly about deepening your relationship with the Lord and getting closer to God, not living frugally. That is just one of the many things you do to get closer to God.

It seems that you are really interested in living a life without material possessions and materialistic and worldly desires. That is wonderful, as you have a firm grasp of one of the core tenets of Hinduism. However, you do not necessarily need to go live in a temple or an ashram to do that. As I said, you can just find a lower-income job that you like, and use that income for necessities such as food, water, etc.

You have very good intentions, but you are in a sticky situation. The most we can do is give you great advice, but ultimately it's up to you. I say get a job, but if you truly want to live a monastic life in a temple or an ashram, then go for it. Just be sure to check it out first to make sure that this is how you want to live your life.

Hare Krishna

sambya
23 February 2010, 04:53 AM
Okay.... I'm in my early 20s, Asian, listens to Prabhupada's lectures daily... I discovered the Krishna consciousness movement by Srila Prabhupada three years ago. It has brought me great happiness and joy....but unfortunately it has really brought my relationship with family to an all time low.

To the point where they can't stand me anymore.... I tend to avoid them...and avoid confrontations....during get togethers...I'm very aloof from the stuff they talk about because I belive its just as bunch of foolish matters that pertains to their never ending greed for lust and materialistic conquest.

I currently got laid off and they're using my unemployment as a way to kick me out of the house. At this point...I dont know...in the scriptures..it says its not a good idea to be controlled by the nature of lust, greed and anger....But at this point...I am slightly angered by my parents and have realized....that Prabhupada was right....love in this material world is simply conditional...but when one's love is sincerely given to Krishna...he will never let you down like my parents just did.

They gave me the option...that I either find a stable job that makes around 30 grand a year....or I should join the millitary. Which I do not want to do by the way because I know Krishna and Prabhupada would be totally against that.
They have given me one month or they're gonna kick me out of the house...out in the streets.

What should I do???? At this point in time...I'm thinking... No !Id love to live out Brahmacharya order of my life and just be initiated
to a sincere Temple and live there for a year or two.
I'll get an unemployment check....and that should be enough to board a plane, get a cab and become a full time devotee.

What do you guys think???? Any suggestions??


i began probing into the spiritual world when i was in my high school and the search has led me to many places including iskcon . so i think i can feel your problem . but my most important advice would be not to take a hasty decision .
many men in saffron robes are often deeply dissatisfied within their heart with their present way of life . this ofcourse is due to lack of yukta vairagya . for when vairagya(detachment) is ripe , there's no looking back at the previous life .

however one must be sure whether this is real vairagya or temporal actrraction . if it is the first , then you r blessed my friend . but if it is the latter then there's no way to realize it yourself , unless you are cured of the syndrome .

personally i have known countless iskcon brahmacharis(both of western and indian blood) who have joined in haste only to later remarry or quit the order . so my sincere advice would be to wait for some more time and analyze what you really want . are you really searching for truth ? or are you following and liking a particular way of life . i see that many iskcon followers take iskcon as a way of life , a club , a society , not as a philosophy for reaching to krishna(even this is comparative better than gross materialism though) . try to find out what you want so that you dont regret later .

secondly , even while renouncing the material world , one is supposed to ask for blessings of mother and father . without their well wishes your aim in life remains difficult to achieve . the only situation where their opinions can be set aside is when you have tivra-vairagya or intense renunciation , which i feel you already know , is a trait seen in only the highest of mahatmas .

so its better to lead you life in a usual way and try to figure out what you want in life . once you keep up to the expectations of your parents , they would automatically start liking you and slowly take to your ways( i have seen that myself) . it might take some time and sincere efforts .

another practical but material advice is-- never disrespect or neglect material education of any form . be it in modern society or within monastic orders , place for materially educated individuals always remains high . a graduate brahmachari does the kitchen duty while the doctor brahmachari becomes the temple president . its hard but fact .

Faithful servant108
02 March 2010, 02:35 AM
Hari bol.

Thank you all for you advice : - )

Things have calmed down these past few days and yeah....I realized that I was a bit emotional.

After some deep meditation/ prayer sessions...it seems like Krishna do wants me to be a brahmacharya....yet he also wants me to be a householder...be employed...have my own house...pay my own taxes... be responsible....and do the 8-5 gig.

If I followed this path...it would definitely give me a universal compassion to the common Man....

I'll keep you all updated.

ranjeetmore
02 March 2010, 04:41 PM
I say you first break off/don't get too involved with ISKCON.They promote mechanical chanting as a form of bhakti when in fact it is physical drill.

I suggest you become a 'yes' person for your parents-go to church- see Krsna in Jesus's statue and smile to yourself.Get a job.Laziness is the worst delusion.You think you're being a renunciate when actually you're just lazing around.I know this.

Then once the situation is stable,read the works of the gurus who were earlier in the line - gosvamis,etc. and if you are sincere,eager enough i.e. you cry everyday for Krsna,a genuinely realised guru who has seen Hari will come knocking at your door.

These babajis are always in search of sincerely mad people whom they want to send to Vaikuntha.

bhaktajan
03 March 2010, 12:17 AM
1] don't get too involved with ISKCON ---this is actually good advise.

I'll tell why. It is the real status of the majority of ISKCON members!
The common visitor to any of Sri Sri Radha-Krishna's Mandir festival is just like a pilgram at a kumba-mela, where one is tossed hirther and tirther among ambrosial sensations; where there is a sensorial overload the lingers in the prana long after parting company.

Whereas in regards to temple denisens:
When we see a mata-ji in all white or when we see a man of our kin or of some exotic origin clothed in saffron we become mauna [silent]; as the dear soul that wears saffron practices humility we are made peacefull in its wake. It's a Few Good Men ---and then their sponsorship.

bhaktajan
03 March 2010, 12:24 AM
2] I like to admit something. Ranjeetmore is a Stand-up Bloke of the first order who causes me to shutter before a speak. Of course he has my respects. But more, I look towards Ranjeetmore's stance on any subject he deems to address ---thus I always have an awed gaze on my face reading any post by him.

charlebs
30 August 2010, 11:18 AM
their ultimatum indicates they have no love for you. They wish to force you into the path they have chosen themselves.
if they wish you to leave their home I would leave if I were you. Eventually they realise their mistake and do all they can to get you back.
Instead of showing fear of their threats you should make absolutely clear that you are ready to pursue a spiritual life.
If they can't accept you as you are then they aren't being reasonable.

You can also see this as a blessing. I myself wish to pursue a spiritual life but my love for my parents and friends forces me to stay. Even though they all see me as a madman.

upsydownyupsy mv ss
20 September 2010, 11:49 AM
Okay.... I'm in my early 20s, Asian, listens to Prabhupada's lectures daily... I discovered the Krishna consciousness movement by Srila Prabhupada three years ago. It has brought me great happiness and joy....but unfortunately it has really brought my relationship with family to an all time low.

To the point where they can't stand me anymore.... I tend to avoid them...and avoid confrontations....during get togethers...I'm very aloof from the stuff they talk about because I belive its just as bunch of foolish matters that pertains to their never ending greed for lust and materialistic conquest.

I currently got laid off and they're using my unemployment as a way to kick me out of the house. At this point...I dont know...in the scriptures..it says its not a good idea to be controlled by the nature of lust, greed and anger....But at this point...I am slightly angered by my parents and have realized....that Prabhupada was right....love in this material world is simply conditional...but when one's love is sincerely given to Krishna...he will never let you down like my parents just did.

They gave me the option...that I either find a stable job that makes around 30 grand a year....or I should join the millitary. Which I do not want to do by the way because I know Krishna and Prabhupada would be totally against that.
They have given me one month or they're gonna kick me out of the house...out in the streets.

What should I do???? At this point in time...I'm thinking... No !Id love to live out Brahmacharya order of my life and just be initiated
to a sincere Temple and live there for a year or two.
I'll get an unemployment check....and that should be enough to board a plane, get a cab and become a full time devotee.

What do you guys think???? Any suggestions??


Well, theres 3 things you could do and what I could do if I were you.
1.) Try and explain it to them that what you are doing is not anti-christian, because, some verses of Bhagvad geeta become some verses of Jesus' gospels, when translated, I'm not saying this. Try and explain that Hinduism is not a devilish or pagan religion and it is a religion which stresses on dharma(righteous path), karma(righteous deeds) bhaktih (devotion or pure hearted love to god) and jnanam (knowledge). If they're not ready to listen, and if this doesn't work out. This is what I'd do...
2.) Listen and read Prabhupada and other iskon related books and other hinduism books in secret. Its the only way, you know you're not doing wrong, but, this is what I'd probably do.
3.) Go through Christian and Hinduism simultaneously and let them know that you'll go through both. Hey, its possible, but difficult.

Maybe they felt you're one the wrong path.
Make sure that they realize, that it is not so, through you're deeds and bhatih to your parents.

Whatever you choose, make sure it doesn't affect you're professional and private lives much. All the best, May Krishna(Shiva-Shakthi as I see) be with you.

1 more thing, since you're an Iskonite, don't forget Iskon is not the only school of hinduism. There are Shaiva, Shaktah and Smartha schools too, whose opinions may differ, but still they are correct as well.