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Philosophical_Seeker
05 March 2010, 06:57 PM
Hello everyone,

My name is Adam, I'm an American (in Buffalo New York), and I am 35 years old and single. I am a Western Philosopher by trade (in the 5th year of a PhD program in Philosophy) and I am a former lifelong practicing Christian. When I began my university studies in philosophy years ago I began to question Christianity, and many of the guiding assumptions of the Western Civilization. I have always felt a pull toward India, three years ago I became a vegetarian and recently, I've begun reading with great delight the Upanishads. Being a professional researcher I have also begun to look into various beliefs and practices in the Hindu family of religions. Only a few days ago, I started reciting, to myself, the Panchakshara, which I find most relaxing a centering. I am interested in setting up a modest puja altar in my apartment, with a murti of the Lord Siva. But I face two serious issues:

1. I am not sure how to find a local Guru, even though there are many many Hindus in Buffalo. I feel somewhat silly as a Westerner approaching an Indian "cold" and asking them for advice.

2. I listened today to a audio recording of the Satguru Sivaya Subramuniyaswami who says that unless one is initiated into the mantra by a guru, the words of the mantra are just that, empty words.

I feel in my heart a stirring toward Siva (I honestly do, his image, name, and mantra, fills me with warmth and peaceful delight). I hate the thought my devotions are dying on my lips.

Any suggestions for how I can proceed? If it helps I have looked at the Satguru's online texts about conversion, though at the moment, living on a graduate students income, I haven't the money.

Aum Namahsivaya