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world_tree
02 April 2010, 09:42 PM
Namaste, Hindu Dharma Forums!

I feel blessed to have discovered this forum, an unending knot of wisdom! Thus far my spiritual practice has been largely without external teacher or guru, so I look forward to learning from others in this vast and diverse community.

I have practiced samatha and vipassana meditation for about five years, and I've briefly explored hatha, pranayam, and kundalini yoga. Alas I still know very little about Hinduism and have not even read the entire Bhagavad Gita. Yet last winter while I was praying for a friend I was visited by Lord Siva, who manifested in blue light before my open eyes; I felt somehow paralyzed, though I was crying from a mixture of terror and awe. Finally Siva asked me, "Do you want to live forever?" I thought for a while and answered, "No." He left, and although things went back to normal, I have never been the same.

Through my current spiritual practice, which includes sitting, chakra visualizations, and meditative walking/running, I've experienced incredible highs of pleasure, insight, and closeness to God. While I count these experiences as blessings, they do not come without thorns. After the ecstasies of divine embrace, the workaday world too often feels bland, uninspired, unfulfilling. Part of me wants to stay forever in the blissful stillness of an asana, a meditation, or reverie of understanding. But as surely as day follows night, bliss and grace wash away, disturbed by the clumsy realities of daily life.

My wish is to dissolve this boundary, to resolve the apparent duality between the sacred and mundane aspects of my life. I feel drawn to non-dualist philosophies, such as Advaita Vedanta, by which I might free myself from this and other dualistic thinking. Also, because I have a broad interest in spiritual matters, I wish to realize whatever transcendent truths will inoculate me against confusion and spiritual materialism. And I want to learn more about Siva and Shaivism.

May you all be blessed. Adieu. /jack

Eastern Mind
03 April 2010, 08:14 AM
Vannakkam world tree: Welcome to these forums. I hope you find some of the wisdom you are looking for here, and share some of your own experiences with it.

Aum Namasivaya

NayaSurya
03 April 2010, 08:17 AM
Hello tree/Jack!

This feeling you have is very common in our home! I just said to a friend on here that I can pray...and my hours slip by so calm, I could stay like this all day. If I could, I would remain japa all day..under the tree in our yard. But then the children come home and they fight...and I have to be the ruler of my household and not let children run loose like monkeys:P

That is when the calm leaves...and I must interact with the gross reality. Leaving the dualistic feeling is as simple as realizing that the child whom you must break your calm with...is Siva. The man who's car cut you off in traffic...Siva. It's okay to become stern with someone who is behaving badly...it's actually sort of a special duty:P

I know your struggle intimately, it is my own. It's like a plane on a runway, ready to take off...but because of duty here....you must continue to wait...in the mundane...in this gross physical world until you have freed yourself from your obligations this time.

But I no longer can see these things as duality. Serving God in prayer...or making him a meal and feeding it to 8 pieces of him. If someone were to work at a restaurant...oh the blessing of serving that many pieces of the divine. Can't imagine how wonderful that would be. Makes me want to leave my hill and find out.

My husband also works very hard at a job, and he thinks of himself as serving God by ultimate service to his family too.

Good example of this subject:

My children are home on Spring break...praying for several hours is now an adventure. I broke mantra the other day and told my son....sit and pray...sit quietly and watch... but do not tease your sister.

My oldest son immediately came down (atheist) and laughed at me...and said nice way to pray. I said, "Yes it is, it's a service to help this piece of God learn reverance". He couldn't make me feel bad about correcting the little son...because in my heart....prayer, mantra and speaking to the child is just all variations of speaking to Siva. Sure, it took longer to return back and reach that wonderful bliss which is given from the higher, perfect Siva...but I made it back.

Besides how would Siva react if I didn't teach a part of Him reverence for prayer time? lol It made my adult son think....and I am glad.

What a beautiful spirit you have Jack! I am so glad you did come here<3

If you don't already know of this place-
My suggestion is to start at the here reading:

http://www.himalayanacademy.com/basics/

They have some wonderful emails you can set yourself up with and they will send a chapter of Satguru Sivaya Subramuniyaswami's books in your email every day. I have read them every day several times a day. It's wonderful how they often will relate to a problem I am dealing with.

Welcome<3

Ramakrishna
13 April 2010, 12:27 AM
Namaste and welcome to HDF!

Ashvati
13 April 2010, 11:53 AM
Namaste, large column of wood and plant matter. I think the best way to keep that feeling with you at all times, for one, would be by realising that all things you see before you are part of Shiva and also, in case you haven't already, adopting a sattvic diet would help a great deal in maintaining this feeling too. I myself haven't taken any dietary restriction yet other then as little beef as possible, but I most likely will one day and simply am not ready to take the steps to becoming vegetarian yet. Another thing you could do is to listen to devotional music a lot of the time when you might otherwise be listening to other music.

@NayaSurya: have you ever considered volunteering at a soup kitchen or for the Salvation Army's dinners? I've worked with the salvation army to serve food durring those events and its immensely satisfying.