world_tree
02 April 2010, 09:42 PM
Namaste, Hindu Dharma Forums!
I feel blessed to have discovered this forum, an unending knot of wisdom! Thus far my spiritual practice has been largely without external teacher or guru, so I look forward to learning from others in this vast and diverse community.
I have practiced samatha and vipassana meditation for about five years, and I've briefly explored hatha, pranayam, and kundalini yoga. Alas I still know very little about Hinduism and have not even read the entire Bhagavad Gita. Yet last winter while I was praying for a friend I was visited by Lord Siva, who manifested in blue light before my open eyes; I felt somehow paralyzed, though I was crying from a mixture of terror and awe. Finally Siva asked me, "Do you want to live forever?" I thought for a while and answered, "No." He left, and although things went back to normal, I have never been the same.
Through my current spiritual practice, which includes sitting, chakra visualizations, and meditative walking/running, I've experienced incredible highs of pleasure, insight, and closeness to God. While I count these experiences as blessings, they do not come without thorns. After the ecstasies of divine embrace, the workaday world too often feels bland, uninspired, unfulfilling. Part of me wants to stay forever in the blissful stillness of an asana, a meditation, or reverie of understanding. But as surely as day follows night, bliss and grace wash away, disturbed by the clumsy realities of daily life.
My wish is to dissolve this boundary, to resolve the apparent duality between the sacred and mundane aspects of my life. I feel drawn to non-dualist philosophies, such as Advaita Vedanta, by which I might free myself from this and other dualistic thinking. Also, because I have a broad interest in spiritual matters, I wish to realize whatever transcendent truths will inoculate me against confusion and spiritual materialism. And I want to learn more about Siva and Shaivism.
May you all be blessed. Adieu. /jack
I feel blessed to have discovered this forum, an unending knot of wisdom! Thus far my spiritual practice has been largely without external teacher or guru, so I look forward to learning from others in this vast and diverse community.
I have practiced samatha and vipassana meditation for about five years, and I've briefly explored hatha, pranayam, and kundalini yoga. Alas I still know very little about Hinduism and have not even read the entire Bhagavad Gita. Yet last winter while I was praying for a friend I was visited by Lord Siva, who manifested in blue light before my open eyes; I felt somehow paralyzed, though I was crying from a mixture of terror and awe. Finally Siva asked me, "Do you want to live forever?" I thought for a while and answered, "No." He left, and although things went back to normal, I have never been the same.
Through my current spiritual practice, which includes sitting, chakra visualizations, and meditative walking/running, I've experienced incredible highs of pleasure, insight, and closeness to God. While I count these experiences as blessings, they do not come without thorns. After the ecstasies of divine embrace, the workaday world too often feels bland, uninspired, unfulfilling. Part of me wants to stay forever in the blissful stillness of an asana, a meditation, or reverie of understanding. But as surely as day follows night, bliss and grace wash away, disturbed by the clumsy realities of daily life.
My wish is to dissolve this boundary, to resolve the apparent duality between the sacred and mundane aspects of my life. I feel drawn to non-dualist philosophies, such as Advaita Vedanta, by which I might free myself from this and other dualistic thinking. Also, because I have a broad interest in spiritual matters, I wish to realize whatever transcendent truths will inoculate me against confusion and spiritual materialism. And I want to learn more about Siva and Shaivism.
May you all be blessed. Adieu. /jack