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NayaSurya
15 April 2010, 02:49 PM
Since my illness, I have been seeing something unusual when I pray. It looks like to me a gold half circle..a bit like the gold circle of the Nataraj.

It's solid, and looks like gold, it's an archway with a beautiful dense blinding light in the center. Solid heavy archway with the same gold metal stars rotating in unison above, but they shine with white light like stars.

The whole thing sets on the floor and is about 5 feet tall and about 2 feet thick.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v692/neoluna/vision0.jpg

It has star looking things above it and they rotate together in unison.

They look more like this shape, but didn't have this shape in my image maker so I just used the one that looked closest. Here is a drawing I made by hand of the shape. It has four pointed sides and they glow like stars.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v692/neoluna/stars.jpg
Please forgive crude freehand drawing with touchpad on laptop:P


When I prayed, I used to imagine that I would take a bit of my soul and hold it out to Siva, sometimes it would turn into birds or butterflies and fly away in beautiful flurry.

But, then it turned into a sun, only about 3 feet in diameter, the sun over a few days had and arch of light above it then birds made of light flew out from the center. I would make this sun and arch with that small piece of my soul and then take a piece of my heart which is red and put it in the center of the sun in the center of that beautiful thick light stuff which causes the whole thing to spin and shine so beautiful.

Then something very unusual happened. After about a week of this happening I was not feeling well at all...I continued to meditate, pray and estatic chant.

When I noticed that when I got down to bow down at Siva's feet...there was this unusual contraption in front of me that looked just like my sun and rainbow..only it was made of gold. All then I had to do was place my bit of heart inside and the whole thing came to life and the stars spinned and the whole thing lit up like lightning. It was so beautiful. I no longer had to use the bit of my soul. But it occured to me that my visualization is no longer my own. Things happen inside of my meditation and estatic chanting that I do not have control over. This contraption is not of my mind. It was put there for me.

Please, I know this sounds very silly...that praying and estatic chant would bring about such things. But I have to know if anyone knows what this machine is?

I have looked for many days during breaks in my writing...and I know here on this forum someone may have much more experience and know the image from their greater knowledge.

Have hesitated more than once to post this as I know how deeply silly this seems. But I feel it's some clue for me to learn about.

Thank you for reading and am grateful to you all for your help<3

Nayindhe<3

smaranam
16 April 2010, 07:35 PM
Please, I know this sounds very silly...that praying and estatic chant would bring about such things.

Namaste

No, why would it sound silly ? Praying, chanting or meditation on the Lord, Self is what shows us things.

This jiva is not a lot into impersonal meditation. Other than periods of silence.
KRSNa, her Lord, has shown this jiva things and taken her to places. Some of these are intuitions - i.e. related to events that happen right after or some time after.

If Lord Shiva is showing you this, He is trying to convey something. So He would know best.

It does look like a semi-circle around NatarAj Shiva (dancing) - possibly because you are thinking about Him. On the other hand it could be so many things.

The stars could be His various shaktis. The flying birds of light could depict
the free nature of AtmA, and AtmA being gradually freed from the body bit by bit.

Giving the heart/soul at His Lotus Feet = offering yourself = surrender.

Only and only with surrender does the animation begin. i.e. the stars start rotating. As long as the jiva has not surrendered, the Sun is stationary.

Sun = AtmA or ParamAtmA = Shiva. He stays aloof, and watches as long as jiva goes about her own way. When jiva surrenders, AtmA-Sun responds.
Response of Love = spinning, twirling (dancing ?) , freeing of the jiva bird ....

And so on..... ?

Pehaps , if you don't already, you should also connect and talk to Shiva in ordinary language. I don't know if this is recommended , please look at this as just my opinion.


Aum Namah ShivAya
Om Namo Bhagavate VAsudevAya

NayaSurya
17 April 2010, 09:27 AM
Thank you, very much. Your insight is very much appreciated and my heart is yours for taking the time to help<3

I do talk to Siva all day, all day... constant dialog my whole life. He knows me, I am the child who would sit for hours within the forest singing to him...even without his name...I sang.

It was mostly one sided dialog until lately. After the fast in March for the nine days. This is when I began to feel the dialog.

Siva often tells me to enjoy the ride, stop over thinking. It's the calm voice from within...calm even when the mind is frantic.


Yesterday morning I ask Siva about this image. Generally do not ask for anything, not even knowledge during prayer to keep it simple act of devotion. But finally I did have to ask.

Lately after chanting, as I return through head, I had left my right hand out of my body holding on to the thick trunk of light connected to my head. I gently held because one time I just tugged and it made my heart race...now I begin to understand the trunk is thick...but loosely connected and should not be played with.

I began to think about the soul inside and that maybe the journey of the realized wouldn't take place outside of body...but come from inside?

So, I tried to stay inside my body and get to the feet to pray.

This could not happen. I do not understand why. But the journey must be free of the vessel, not inside of it. I immediately flew out the top of my head to pray and went to the feet and through same process with the image above. But, after it was done I was going back into the stream, and down to my body I went to leave my hand out of my body again.

A wondrous thing happened...a giant gray colored hand reached for my hand and held it gently from above...and then it slowly pulled my hand slightly upwards till past my wrist was out of my body... Then I realized that I was to go further...out...I was to go out, not in.

So today I have to my elbow out, metaphysically speaking. What will this lead to? I am unsure..but...I am urged to follow the clues.

This may not seem silly to you, which I have to say, makes my heart very fond of your kindness<3

But to the pratical mind of this body...it does. The only thing which makes me continue...and to be strong in belief that it is happening was the story I told in another thread about my Mother.

For years I pray for dying clients and ask Siva to send energy...I imagined energy coming down from the cord which connects me into my body. It was gold, a color I personally do not like. I did try several times to change it to silver...my true favorite color...but simply could not, it was out of my control.

For years, I do this for clients, never telling another...ashamed that it sounded crazy. Not even my own family could know about this 'kooky' practice of sending energy into dying vessel and praying that I could ease their suffering.

Until the day arrived it was my own Mother, she had cancer for 12 years and fought bravely...but was in coma dying. I do this for her...not knowing if it works, but hoping with all my being it did.

I did it so strongly, sending every last bit into her....and I nearly fell over. She was silent in coma and I stood up and went to the end of her bed but felt as if I would fall over again and grabbed the wooden foot board.

Suddenly she wakes up very excited and scared and says many things "OH LANIE! What have you done??? You're like an angel...you're covered in beautiful gold...like a shining angel...What have you done?? You're a beautiful ANGEL!"

I stood there frozen, exhausted...as my heart broke...

She call all my sisters and family in...and they all looked to her crazy.

Then I could no longer hide the crazy truth...that for years I have been sending gold into others who were dying...and I told them as their mouths drop open.

But for me, I began to cry very hard...because then I knew she would die....because she was seeeing things I could only know in my heart. She left me this gift...the knowledge...to be brave...never doubt it.

Doubt is the killer.

The gift she gave me, is the reason I could post this image here, knowing others may think I see unicorns:P (which I do not, my external world is very practical:P)....but I do persist.

Because before her death, I was given the proof....proof as strong and noncrazy as a well studied fact in a laboratory.

Unfortunately, this proof can not be transfered over to others, but for me...it is was the killer of all doubt.

This is a simple mother, not guru, nor mystic, not learned, a servant of man, an unfit dog upon this earth...all I have is experience and my unwaivering knowledge this can happen. If the simple dog can know ...then this can happen for anyone who can get beyond the mind's doubt.

Humbled, muddy root of the lotus, earnestly reaching upward toward the light above the water. The water is so deep...one could almost believe that the sun does not exist...but it does...believe in this.

Eastern Mind
17 April 2010, 01:01 PM
Vannakkam Nayasurya:

My personal POV is that visions are like thoughts. There is an awareness behind both that can watch them go by, yet not be attached to them. I do find comfort there though, like watching a river flow past.

Boss thought it might be a portion of a chakra, for what its worth. But I absolutely agree that excessive trying to figure it out is an intellectual process and a nuisance or hindrance.

Aum Namasivaya

NayaSurya
24 April 2010, 07:32 AM
I thank you, but please thank the boss. She is saying the same thing as my boss...:p (hope boss feel better<3)

This is Chakra in a very strange set up. I am working with it.

Thank you all<3

upsydownyupsy mv ss
24 April 2010, 08:41 AM
:eek::eek::eek: Ive had similar experiences, but urs is just.... how to put it?....
Its just awesome remarkable. Struck by lightning, I have no words. Ur at a very high level, that I can say for sure.
Aum namah Shivaya.... :bowdown:

NayaSurya
24 April 2010, 09:49 AM
lol you can not bow to the dog:p

We are at the feet and can not be moved:P

As I say before, anyone can do this if the dog can.

To update where I am since the last time I posted above. I had my hand out of body then I got head and both shoulders out. Then the next time I pray the large grey hand came again and was placed on my head to tell me "no futher". So the head and arms are out metaphysically speaking...and I am to go no futher. Sometimes I think about this during my mundane chores and giggle that above my vessel is my real head and arms wrapped lovingly around the vessel below.



Yesterday during japa I closed my eyes and try to meditate at His feet and my mind was overcome by MahaYogi sitting in the mirror image of me as I pray...then suddenly Siva shows me that it is a mirror. Then the image becomes Siva again ...and then suddenly turns into mirror again. It switched back and forth several times to show me. You, me, Siva...all in the mirror. The japa never produce image before. But I was doing the Maha mrityunjaya 108 for a friend and his friend...so perhaps this came from the selfless act.


Oh one funny thing did happen during Japa these last few weeks, but it was related to the fact I was going to change my mala... I searched for the one that spoke to my heart. Then for the past 2 weeks, as I decided I still used my humble one that was not special. It began to smell of linen...fresh linen...flowers of some kind I do not recognize as I pray with it. I make others smell and they also smell the flowers. It was so awesome!

I decided to keep mala...because Siva was giving me this sign. Maybe it's not so bad to have humble one...it's not important to get the other.


I do realize the Guru is Siva....me...you...universe. I try to listen very carefully and follow the bread crumbs given to this dog...even when the heart is inclined to do something different.

Om Namah Sivaya Prya Tamah Sivaya<3

upsydownyupsy mv ss
24 April 2010, 11:50 AM
lol you can not bow to the dog:p

We are at the feet and can not be moved:P

As I say before, anyone can do this if the dog can.

To update where I am since the last time I posted above. I had my hand out of body then I got head and both shoulders out. Then the next time I pray the large grey hand came again and was placed on my head to tell me "no futher". So the head and arms are out metaphysically speaking...and I am to go no futher. Sometimes I think about this during my mundane chores and giggle that above my vessel is my real head and arms wrapped lovingly around the vessel below.



Yesterday during japa I closed my eyes and try to meditate at His feet and my mind was overcome by MahaYogi sitting in the mirror image of me as I pray...then suddenly Siva shows me that it is a mirror. Then the image becomes Siva again ...and then suddenly turns into mirror again. It switched back and forth several times to show me. You, me, Siva...all in the mirror. The japa never produce image before. But I was doing the Maha mrityunjaya 108 for a friend and his friend...so perhaps this came from the selfless act.


Oh one funny thing did happen during Japa these last few weeks, but it was related to the fact I was going to change my mala... I searched for the one that spoke to my heart. Then for the past 2 weeks, as I decided I still used my humble one that was not special. It began to smell of linen...fresh linen...flowers of some kind I do not recognize as I pray with it. I make others smell and they also smell the flowers. It was so awesome!

I decided to keep mala...because Siva was giving me this sign. Maybe it's not so bad to have humble one...it's not important to get the other.


I do realize the Guru is Siva....me...you...universe. I try to listen very carefully and follow the bread crumbs given to this dog...even when the heart is inclined to do something different.

Om Namah Sivaya Prya Tamah Sivaya<3
:eek::cool1::rolleyes:
I bowed down to Shiva, Didn't you notice? I said Aum namah Shivaya and bowed down to you're thread, now, what does that imply? One more thing I just realized why you call yourself a dog, I came to know its not pessimistism.

Want to know of my experience? Its a bit straight forward.
I just lost the 'I' and 'You' and 'He' nesses once during meditation and I was no longer my body, mind and intellect, only pure consiousness. I could see Violet(Krishna) colored light everywhere, thats when I realized, 'Sarvam shivamayam' and 'Satyam, shivam sundaram' and 'Pragynanam Brah ma' and 'TatTvamAsi' But I still am a long way from 'Aham Brahma Asmi'. Thats the last stage.:)

upsydownyupsy mv ss
24 April 2010, 11:52 AM
Or did you mean to call My LOVE Shiva as dog?:Roll:
How'd that sound? Terrible to you eh?:laugh:
Hope atleast now you get it when I do this again...
Aum Namah Shivaya :bowdown:

upsydownyupsy mv ss
24 April 2010, 11:52 AM
Hope Kalki came for few seconds. :crazy:

NayaSurya
24 April 2010, 12:20 PM
I was referring to the high level, this is simply not so as the dog is a very low level. This life I was born the dog for a reason.

Sometimes, Siva is surrounded by the dog, the gross physical body. The dog wants, learns corrupt things...and is born white...blond hair perhaps:p

Dog also likes sunshine, butterflies and well... you upsy<3

The dog is silly too, and likes rap music:p
Ahh rap music triggers the animal for sure.

But inside the dog dwells the most beloved...it knows this and is often repelled by the visage in the mirror...but...the dog vessel has a purpose, a duty to fulfill. Only by dwelling in the dog can Siva work this special dirty duty.


I do bow down to you, upsy...most beloved. To you all....all are most beloved<3