Darji
28 April 2010, 05:10 PM
Namaste all,
(I apologise if this is too long, but have been holding it in for so long)
How to begin? the beginning? When growing up I always had hindu friends, or friendly hindu neighbours, they always welcomed me with open arms and shared not only their culture but themselves as well. I remember when I was about 5 or 6 and seeing a gilt framed painting of Ganesha on the shrine of my friends. I can close my eyes and the imagry still comes back like it was yesterday. But being at the age I was, I didn't understand the full impact of what that image represented. Growing up, my family was spiritual, not religous and was raised wiccan (yes one of the first generation actually raised this way), but I moved on from that path when I became a teen. Once I was out of my rebellious years and started thinking about the infinite, sanatana dharma was the first thing that crossed my mind, unfortunately by this time I had moved to America to be with my mum and the closest thing to dharma I could find were the "let me rub some stones on you to align your chakra new ageist" that you typically find around the wiccan circle of friends. So, I stopped looking and ended up in Japan where I started learning Tendai-shu, it was a nice fit at the time, but I was still missing something. A couple of years things hit rock bottom, my mum got me a job at a hotel to get back on my feet and there were Indians. Indians owned it and worked it. Soon I became great friends with the laundry workers Manu-bhai and Santa-bin, a lovely older couple that took me in despite the language barrier. Although I never expressed my want and desire to know more, Manu-bhai, would tell me about Shiva (as best he could) and would bring me little cards with mantras on them. Long story short it was a wonderful time and I wish my situation would have allowed me to see the give I was given and I would have followed through then.
Fast forward 7 years and WHAM! out of the blue it hits me like a freight train. A fortnight ago I had an amazingly vivid dream. It was of an odd mass of ever evolving light like waves on the sea churning. But it was not like water, it was thick and had substance to it... actually I see it in my minds eye now, but can not quite explain. None the less, all I hear is eternal quiet and feel sublime (for the lack of a better world) and although it was dead quiet, I felt OM resonating, through me around me, yet another sensation that is difficult to explain.
Needless to say, since that night I can't get it out of my head and heart which couldn't come at a worse time. I am currently writing a book (not related in the least bit) and over do and all I want to do it find God. So now I find myself here, I have been thumped by God and doing what I should have done years ago, but was too selfish to realize. I now want to make things right.
I know a lot of you like to know the story behind the screen names. I guess I should explain mine since it is not religiously derived. I am an experimental archaeologist and despite my background in Celtic culture, I have been working on recreating and preserving tailoring techniques and methods of the 19th century. Hence the name. :D
Thank you for reading and hearing my heart.
(I apologise if this is too long, but have been holding it in for so long)
How to begin? the beginning? When growing up I always had hindu friends, or friendly hindu neighbours, they always welcomed me with open arms and shared not only their culture but themselves as well. I remember when I was about 5 or 6 and seeing a gilt framed painting of Ganesha on the shrine of my friends. I can close my eyes and the imagry still comes back like it was yesterday. But being at the age I was, I didn't understand the full impact of what that image represented. Growing up, my family was spiritual, not religous and was raised wiccan (yes one of the first generation actually raised this way), but I moved on from that path when I became a teen. Once I was out of my rebellious years and started thinking about the infinite, sanatana dharma was the first thing that crossed my mind, unfortunately by this time I had moved to America to be with my mum and the closest thing to dharma I could find were the "let me rub some stones on you to align your chakra new ageist" that you typically find around the wiccan circle of friends. So, I stopped looking and ended up in Japan where I started learning Tendai-shu, it was a nice fit at the time, but I was still missing something. A couple of years things hit rock bottom, my mum got me a job at a hotel to get back on my feet and there were Indians. Indians owned it and worked it. Soon I became great friends with the laundry workers Manu-bhai and Santa-bin, a lovely older couple that took me in despite the language barrier. Although I never expressed my want and desire to know more, Manu-bhai, would tell me about Shiva (as best he could) and would bring me little cards with mantras on them. Long story short it was a wonderful time and I wish my situation would have allowed me to see the give I was given and I would have followed through then.
Fast forward 7 years and WHAM! out of the blue it hits me like a freight train. A fortnight ago I had an amazingly vivid dream. It was of an odd mass of ever evolving light like waves on the sea churning. But it was not like water, it was thick and had substance to it... actually I see it in my minds eye now, but can not quite explain. None the less, all I hear is eternal quiet and feel sublime (for the lack of a better world) and although it was dead quiet, I felt OM resonating, through me around me, yet another sensation that is difficult to explain.
Needless to say, since that night I can't get it out of my head and heart which couldn't come at a worse time. I am currently writing a book (not related in the least bit) and over do and all I want to do it find God. So now I find myself here, I have been thumped by God and doing what I should have done years ago, but was too selfish to realize. I now want to make things right.
I know a lot of you like to know the story behind the screen names. I guess I should explain mine since it is not religiously derived. I am an experimental archaeologist and despite my background in Celtic culture, I have been working on recreating and preserving tailoring techniques and methods of the 19th century. Hence the name. :D
Thank you for reading and hearing my heart.