PDA

View Full Version : Dream state and death



Shanti
22 June 2010, 08:21 PM
When my father past away, it felt as nothing was real and that I was walking around in a dream like state. This same feeling emerged after my mother past away.

I probably could have stepped on a nail or burned myself and not really paid much attention, it could be hot or cold but I wouldn't feel it, no hunger, just a feeling of walking in a dreamlike state.

I wasn't in a daze, I still would do my day to day tasks and function as normal, but it still all would just feel unreal. This would last just the first 5-6 days. I felt as if I could see myself from afar just going through the motions of daily life. I was in my body, but I wasn't.

Is this a peek into the attached, but detached feeling one should aim to have?

yajvan
22 June 2010, 09:08 PM
hariḥ oṁ
~~~~~~

namasté shanti


When my father past away, it felt as nothing was real and that I was walking around in a dream like state. This same feeling emerged after my mother past away.

Is this a peek into the attached, but detached feeling one should aim to have?


Some would call this being the sākṣin. This is defined as an eye-witness seeing with the eyes , observing. The 'I' is the witness of all the actions and events around you as you remain uninvolved with them, separate.

This experience can be brought on by a different events. In your case the death of a loved one. It can be brought on by laughter, anger, surprise, a still moment, meditation, delight, fear, etc. etc. It is there all the time
and you have had the opportunity to experience and learn from it.

praṇām

NayaSurya
23 June 2010, 01:05 PM
You have my heart today, it is hard to watch those you love move forward.

This state you describe above....many in the medical field possess with abundance. We observe but we remain calm...unaffected.

I was a private nurse in various locations and in private residences for many years. I would wash dead bodies, put them in their most beautiful outfit, do their hair, makeup...light candles...perfumes....all before their families arrived from home so that they did not see what I saw when I watched them die. The scene turned from a stark cold hospital room to one that seemed dripping with peace.

It brought such peace to their families....it made my whole heart sing to see this good deed bloom into peace for these families.

Some of the people I cared for...were very extremely dear to me. But I put the tears aside and worked this difficult task....because I was then the extension of this dear person who could not do this for themself. I could feel them urging me to do this act for them...and I did it faithfully.

Sometimes months later the tears would come and I would cry for many days...I would write down the feelings...then move forward carrying that individual's life with me inside my own. This has happened hundreds of times to me.

The day came that my own Mother died at dawn on a cold November day. I cleaned her, dressed her...removed the tubes and things which had kept her in this realm. My sister was my partner, but sadly, she became very affected by this.

For me, it was the ultimate duty...to give her that dignity...that honor.

But, it is a state of detachment that is unequalled in my life...and it frightened me.

But, it's also a gift. I am sorry you have had such an experience bestowed upon you, but am so happy that you have found the gift that your parents left for you inside their departure.

Big huge hugs<3

Shanti
23 June 2010, 08:30 PM
Thank you Yajvan and NaraSurya for your insights. I don't know why it never dawned on me until now. I was sitting in bed reading from the Bhagwad Geeta (as most every night), but this time it was like a light turned on in my head. I suddenly felt I truly understood this observer that lives within. I'm glad you both were able to help me process this in my mind more so. There have been other times that I felt as if I was observing myself from afar, but never those times did not feel like it was all a dream, I was still rooted within, I would still notice if someone pinched me. But the times after my parents death, was so much more profound, the un-realness was so much more real. I'm not quite sure if I'm making sense now.. anyway..



But, it's also a gift. I am sorry you have had such an experience bestowed upon you, but am so happy that you have found the gift that your parents left for you inside their departure.

Big huge hugs<3

You know, I never would have thought of it as a gift until now and the part I bolded above has brought tears to my eyes. Thank you.

yajvan
23 June 2010, 08:50 PM
hariḥ oṁ
~~~~~~

namasté shanti


I was sitting in bed reading from the Bhagwad Geeta (as most every night), but this time it was like a light turned on in my head. I suddenly felt I truly understood this observer that lives within.

The stars rejoice when one finds their way.

praṇām

Eastern Mind
23 June 2010, 09:55 PM
Vannakkam Shanti:

Death and grief are so crazy personal. Everyone experiences something new. For both my parents, I was oddly affectionately detached and never shed a tear, even though I loved them dearly. I was criticized for it as some people interpreted it as cold-hearted. Bodies pass, souls continue. But like I said, it ios so personal. Society seems to make this conclusion there is a right way and a wrong way to grieve. I find it rather odd.

Aum Namasivaya