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Eastern Mind
26 June 2010, 06:57 PM
Vannakkam:

http://veda.wikidot.com/yama-niyama

NIYAMA 1 — Hri, Remorse

"Allow yourself the expression of remorse, being modest and showing shame for misdeeds. Recognize your errors, confess and make amends. Sincerely apologize to those hurt by your words or deeds. Resolve all contention before sleep. Seek out and correct your faults and bad habits. Welcome correction as a means to bettering yourself. Do not boast. Shun pride and pretension."

It is one thing to error, yet quite another to confess to it, admit it, make up for it, etc. My worst trait for hurting others is my overzealous sarcastic wit. There have been several times in my life where I've had to go to friends and apologise for my mouth. Overactive teasing mode. Yet if I were to restrain it, I would come across a some serious buffoon.

The other night at the temple it happened. A 9 yr. old girl was mashing her papadam into the rice and curry, and I was going on with the "Nobody eats papadam like that. What did your mother teach you?" (Her mother was sitting right there, so it was even more fun.) But I inadvertent,y crossed the line when I asked the mother if HER mother taught her stuff like that. Then I discovered that she didn't have a mother as her mother had passed away when she was young. So all the fun sort of came to an abrupt halt. So I had to apologise for hurt feelings later.

Aum Namasivaya

Ramakrishna
26 June 2010, 08:58 PM
Namaste,

I have noticed that a common thing in the yamas and niyamas is to recognize your errors, confess, and make amends. Or to seek out and correct your faults and bad habits. Doing that is obviously extremely vital to attaining self-realization.

As I've said before, this is something I need to improve on, and I am doing so. As you said, it is not enough to just recognize our errors, but we must sincerely confess and admit it and apologize if necessary. That's much easier said than done.

Just a few months ago, a good friend of mine made a little "joke" about Hinduism. I overreacted and said some things in response that I shouldn't have said. I don't know about other people, but usually whenever my friends and I get into a little disagreement or a minor argument, nobody apologizes but instead the next time we see each other we act like nothing ever happened and resume things as normal. I guess that was our way of apologizing to each other and moving on. But, I realized that wasn't enough. So I went home and typed up a letter to my friend, apologizing to him. I made it clear that I didn't appreciate what he said about Hinduism, but I also made it clear that I overreacted with the things I said in response. I gave him the letter the next time I saw him. Hopefully next time I will be bold enough to apologize face-to-face, and not write a letter. But it was a start for me.

Jai Sri Krishna

NayaSurya
28 June 2010, 11:05 AM
It makes the inferior one feel less so, to know that something brought about by abuse. The constant need to set things right, to own any part of my own mistakes and wholey apologize is part of the better road.

Although not perfect, it is done with every ounce of sincerity. I never go to bed without doing this. Over my life time it has served this soul well. Because of the triggers from abuse, I simply thought this was undesirable...but now I understand it's probably one of the only gifts you can get during such karma.

Eastern Mind
28 June 2010, 05:04 PM
Vannakkam Naya:

It's a fine line, but the mature person feels it without beating themselves up. Guilt is not a healthy emotion.

Here is my all time favorite talk on similar stuff: gratitude and appreciation.

http://www.hinduismtoday.com/modules/smartsection/item.php?itemid=4882

Aum Namasivaya

NayaSurya
28 June 2010, 06:36 PM
Very nice article by one of my all time favorite people.

"Gratitude: It is a feeling within the heart that we cannot suppress for long when overcome with abundant memories of all the good that has come into our lives."

Absolutely!