Can you love someone else and God at the same time?

[Adhvagat]

I know my question may sound a little childish or dumb, but I'm just saying just like it came to my head.

Just after questioning this to myself, from deeper within I heard an answer: Loving God is the only way of truly loving everyone.

However...

What is the purpose of marriage in a man's life according to the vedas?

Is marriage an obstacle on the way to moksha or can it help towards it?

I'd really like to hear your opinions on this.

Om Tat Sat

[NayaSurya]

Not childish at all. It's a natural question which I have thought about a lot. <3

Every night before I go to sleep I pray..."Beloved Shivaya, thank you for my children and husband....the very broken off pieces of you, which I serve. Thank you Beloved for entrusting these beings to me."

Because I am loving them completely which makes the being which set them forth shines so utterly through, that I am compelled to loved them even more.

Shiva entrusted these other bits of Himself to me, He knew...that I would love them just as He, because we are He.<3

As a mother loves each of her children all at once and with her whole heart...I love them...with no differentiation.

Serving my family, my Beloved children and husband is service to Beloved Himself.

hugs<3

I wanted to add, this is probably the most base of answers and there are many other, more advanced ways to love Beloved through His manefestations here. But, I am a simple portion who has knowledge mostly of this most primary of ways. Hopefully others will come with the higher forms.

[jasdir]

Sayings of sages:

"Chandni chand se hoti hai sitron se nahin, pyaar bhi eak se hota hai hazaron se nahin"

Means: "One" can "Love" only "One" not "Thousands" at same time.

Another Quote:

"How can a girl adjust at Husband's home, until she forget the rememberence of father's home"

In this Quote:

Girl = Soul

Husband's home = God or God's home

Father's home = World

[Maya3]

Everyone IS the Self, so you DO love God if you love another person.

It´s only monks and sanyasins who need to be worried about not getting married etc.

Maya

[Eastern Mind]

Vannakkam:

Love is at several levels, and types. A good way to develop love within and for Siva is to practise with people, such as spouses and children. But since Siva is in all , and all is in Siva, then essentially it is His love you are practising.

Still there can be confusion in an immature soul when their love isn't really love, its fake love, actually for their own selfish benefit. So one does have to tread somewhat carefully with the mind, as the Selfish part can be a trickster.

Am Namasivaya

[jasdir]

Vannakkam:

Love is at several levels, and types. A good way to develop love within and for Siva is to practise with people, such as spouses and children. But since Siva is in all , and all is in Siva, then essentially it is His love you are practising.

Still there can be confusion in an immature soul when their love isn't really love, its fake love, actually for their own selfish benefit. So one does have to tread somewhat carefully with the mind, as the Selfish part can be a trickster.

Am Namasivaya

POEM: Oh! my mind just listen this carefully.

Oh! my mind just listen this carefully, this whole world is entangled in own pleasures, nobody worries about you.

Oh! my mind just listen this carefully, When you are in good condition every body behaves like "friends" with you.

Oh! my mind just listen this carefully, When you are in bad conditions every body behaves like "enemy" with you.

Oh! my mind just listen this carefully, When your body is alive, Your life partner seems like, Careing for you days & nights.

Oh! my mind just listen this carefully, When your dead body is kept at your home, Your life partner seems like, Getting afarid from your dead body, Thinking as a Ghost!!!!

Oh! my mind just listen this carefully, Nobody without "God" can help you at the END.

[shambhvi]

very beautiful question...

All mighty is himself pure unconditional love...you can love ..pure unconditional love(God) for sure, but spread it to your karmic connections as well, all people, animals.

Unconditional Love is best meditation, best seva to God/Guru...

Its tough to practise, but slowly as you do. Everything is beautiful..

The purpose of human life is to spread pure unconditional love...

[Alise]

Namaste,

Maybe I misunderstand the question, but I heard that it's man's dharma to marry (unless he chooses to be a monk) & since God is everywhere & Hinduism is panentheistic basically everything you do for others, you are doing for God & yourself.

Ok, I must say I'm not really right to answer that question, 'Living with Shiva' has answer to question of husband's dharma & quotes from Vedas about marriage & so but I don't understand Vedas, so I chose not to copy & paste any quote.

Have a nice day,
~Alice

[sunyata07]

Namaste

If we are discussing love in its most universal and platonic sense, then the answer is absolutely. How can you love God and not love everyone else around you? One should strive to see Him in everything, every flower, face and form.

But you mention marriage in your topic, so I think my above answer will have to be redressed. I don't believe marriage gets in the way of moksha. In this day and age, a real marriage based on a meeting of the minds of two individuals who respect and love each other's company, is a blessing. It is becoming a rare thing to find in the western world with the ideals of self-satisfaction and sating one's own lusts and selfish whims becoming more and more dominant. This certainly would be getting in the way of moksha. So I would again say, yes, you can love God and your spouse at the same time. Nayasurya is wise to give thanks to Shiva every night for her children and husband. To see God in your closest ones will strengthen your love for them, and you are surely doing the work of the Divine by raising your sons and daughters with the same unconditional love as you would for God. To love your spouse like this also will teach them the value and sacredness of marriage.

Obviously, this will be different for the ascetic or the monk who has of his own will renounced any ties to the world. But this is not the same dharma as the householder, the everyday man or woman who has for one reason or another, still more karma to work out in this life before moving onto the next stage.

Om namah Shivaya

[saidevo]

namaste PI.

You said in your OP:
"Just after questioning this to myself, from deeper within I heard an answer: Loving God is the only way of truly loving everyone."

Love, like friendship, is mutual. So, the intensity of love I might have for God is at best a feeling, and His loving me is a belief, on my part.

• In other words, the propitious and benevolent action of mutual love between me and God is not readily apparent to me, as in the case of personal love. At the same time, there is also no mutual bitterness in divine love, if I do not keep up the commitment on my part (say by being preoccupied with my worldly affairs), as there is in the case of personal love.

• How many of us, do you think, can nourish and sustain the intensity of divine love on our part--making it a full-time occupation--as did RAdhA-rANi, MIrAbAi, ANDAL, KRShNa-chaitanya or RAmakRShNa, to name a few examples? Or even think about trying the universal love of AmmA AmRtAnandamayI that embraces the whole world? (The video clip gave by Harjas Kaur in another thread is an excellent example of it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pTLR9qRlqg)

• Therefore, I realize that my love for God at this stage in my life, can only be a functional help to my spiritual sAdhana, and it essentially amounts to love of my Self, which expresses itself by the ahaMkAra--I-ness, in me. By seeking to love God, I try to sublimate it and make it more and more altruistic.

• It is incumbent on me who has love for God to extend it in an altruistic manner to every being, but this is hardly possible for a mere mortal like me, although my intentions are genuine.

Therefore, God has given me an opportunity to have much smaller circles of people around me, so I can practise my goal of altruistic love. Getting married and having a family, places me in the innermost of those circles, gives me a framework for the closest of my relationships and helps me refine and practise my capability of loving the other selves as my own self.

• Every man who takes his birth in this world is in three kinds of RNas--debts, that he is required to discharge in full before he can attain liberation. These debts are man's obligations for enjoying the original legacy of wealth and knowledge passed on to mankind by the devas--Gods, RiShis--sages, and pitRs--ancestors, since the creation of this world. This is the message of the TaittirIya saMhitA (6.3.10.5) of KRShNa-yajur veda.

• The Shatapatha brAhmaNa 1.7.2.1-6 also enumerates these debts and adds a fourth debt--a debt unto mankind (manuShya RNa).

• The Hindu--and every other person too--discharges his debt:

‣ to the RShis in his brahmachArya-Ashrama--bachelorhood of student life, by studying the scriptures;

‣ to the devas by entering into the gRhasthAshrama--married life, by performing the rituals of worship and yajnas--fire sacrifices;

‣ to the pitRs in the same gRhasthAshrama by having children, who are considered to be the greatest wealth of a man;

‣ to the manuShya--mankind, in the same gRhasthAshrama, by living a life of dharma, highlighted by dAna--charity, and seva--service.

• Only after discharging these four debts, a man becomes eligible to enter into the vAnaprastha-Ashrama--retired life, during which time he lives a simple life, practises austerity and passes on his knowledge and experience to the younger generation.

• In the opinion of the wise, in Kali Yuga, the common people can enter the saMnyAsa-Ashrama--ascetic life, only after being a householder, and not straight from bachelorhood.

• Actually, married life gives the best opportunity for altruistic love that embraces not only this physical world but gives an opportunity to the jIvas--individual souls, waiting in the subtle worlds to be reborn.

• It is for this reason of accommodating the waiting souls that Goddess PArvatI, plays the role of KAmAkShi, creating the fillip of love between men and women.

For more details about the saMskAra--ceremonial commitments, of vivAha--marriage, read this booklet:
'Marriage' by KapAli shAstri
http://www.vedah.com/org/literature/PDFs/Marriage.pdf

[kahanam]

Loving fellow beings is loving God and vice versa as Bagavan Sayee Baba teaches us!

[Arjuni]

Namaste, Pietro,

This is an issue with which I too am struggling, so I'll answer with some of my own thoughts.

Sanatana Dharma is so wise in the āśramas, dividing life into stages which help to prepare the character for the next, and bachelorhood/student life are very important to prepare a person for marriage. It's vital to have knowledge, devotion, and a certain awareness of one's own flaws and difficulties, before joining and making a life with someone else - otherwise, you might seek a partner based upon self-delusion.

I don't believe that the institution of marriage itself is a barrier from moksha, and as Saidevo pointed out, it's essential to discharging one's debts. However, in terms of individual marriages - a marriage is a relationship that sometimes rests on the tip of a feather, so difficult can its balance be, and a dysfunctional marriage can certainly complicate love for God and fellow beings. To give a few examples I have witnessed:

Some partners love each other to the degree that they are always supportive and comforting of each other. They allow and excuse bad or lazy behaviour and ill thoughts - i.e. "I can't believe your teacher had the gall to correct you; why, you know so much more than he does, no wonder you're angry!" or "Oh, forget about boring meditation, we're tired, let's go see a movie instead!" - and as a result, they act adharmically by not encouraging each other to be people of high character. They hinder each other's spiritual progress.

Sometimes couples have incompatible characters or similar flaws; they might fight often and begin to resent each other, or become testy and agitated over even small things. In this case, they find it harder to love and serve God in all, i.e. "You know, loving and serving God sounds great, and maybe I will see God in you as soon as I'm not mad about these dirty dishes!" Arguments or ongoing problems can sap one's energy, and make it very difficult to perform religious duties with a feeling of true bhakti instead of just "going through the motions."

And so on, and so on. It's sometimes hardest to love and honour the people that are right in front of us, and especially so with a marriage partner - the person who lives with you and knows so many personal things about you, including just the right way to drive you absolutely bonkers. :P

So to summarise: no, marriage itself does not hinder moksha. But if God matters to you, it's important to find a partner who shares that desire for realisation, who wants to work with you towards fulfilling the duties of worship and living a life devoted to dharma, and who is willing to fix problems that arise along the way. Eastern Mind points out very wisely that the selfish mind can be a great trickster, and sometimes what we think we want, is not what is best for us.

Indraneela
===
"I wait the power of one like thee, O Indra, gifts of a Helper such as thou art, Hero.
Strong, Mighty God, dwell with me now and ever."
Om Indrāya Namaḥ.
Om Namaḥ Śivāya.

[openyoureyes]

Or, you could enjoy this life and your love as a gift and not worry about moksha. Really, what is so great about wanting to get off this crazy wheel anyhow? Just sounds like an excuse to deny the gift of life and seek an escape from the world's troubles instead of facing them down with honour. Live in the moment and seek the divine in the moment and moksha will come without grasping after it. Love your partner whole-heartedly and don't miss a single second of living.

[jasdir]

The purpose of human life is to spread pure unconditional love...

What a human can spread ?
Lust, Anger, Geed, False attachments & Ego nothing more than this.

The purpose of human life is to BECOME unconditional love,
First become, & than think about purpose or to spread,

"God is Love"
"Love is God"

[shambhvi]

What a human can spread ?
Lust, Anger, Geed, False attachments & Ego nothing more than this.

The purpose of human life is to BECOME unconditional love,
First become, & than think about purpose or to spread,

"God is Love"
"Love is God"

It all depends what kinda human u r ...if a saint...then U WILL SPREAD UNCONDITIONAL LOVE...if NOT then u will spread ..what all u wrote above...

btw how do u become unconditional love..unless u practise spreading it???? this is no ice cream...that u put it in fridge and u become unconditional love...

Good day

[jasdir]

It all depends what kinda human u r ...if a saint...then U WILL SPREAD UNCONDITIONAL LOVE...if NOT then u will spread ..what all u wrote above...

Good day

Shambhvi ji,
I know i am taking your expencive time,

What is ment by Saint ?

Waiting for your reply
Namaste by your brother Jasdir.

[Adhvagat]

Shambhvi ji,
I know i am taking your expencive time,

What is ment by Saint ?

Waiting for your reply
Namaste by your brother Jasdir.

Saidevo presented a great explanation on this some time ago:

http://www.hindudharmaforums.com/showpost.php?p=52568&postcount=4