Ahem....

[eriko]

Namaste all,

I don't like someone, and if there life is ruined I will be very much at peace. So what do I do?

[Sahasranama]

It's undertandable and it's absolutely human to develop hatred towards someone. But if it's peace that you want for yourself, then you won't get it from trying to ruin someone else. You have to develop compassion, that will bring you peace, not revenge.

[Eastern Mind]

Vannakkam eriko: There are a few religious sadhanas for this. I think anyone whose lived has had such experiences, although the 'hatred' varies in degrees right from a nervous anxious reaction when in their presence, to planning to murder them. Hopefully you're at the lower end of the spectrum.

If it is actually a harassment or assault case, you can go to the police.

The sadhana often revolves around trying to see the soul within the other individual. We are all souls, sons and daughters of Siva. Easy intellectually, but can be extremely difficult emotionally. One sadhana is to get a picture of said person, and place it on your shrine amongst other deities, tiruvadi, etc. Then for a fixed period of time like one month, place a flower in front of that person. It is like namaskaram where supposedly we greet soul to soul, not personality to personality. If you can't get a picture, then write the person's name down beautifully and use that. Slowly (hopefully) your idea of this person will be that he/she is of God, and not just some personality.

Another way is to stare at the picture, and close your eyes to visualise that person all smiles, coming towards you, in love.

Yet another is to write a letter to them stating all the reasons you hate them, and all the injustices you feel they have done towards you. Just dump all the emotions out there. But then definitely don't send it. Just burn it in a fire, or outside in a park.

Best wishes overcoming this.

Aum Namasivaya

[saidevo]

namate EM.



The sadhana often revolves around trying to see the soul within the other individual. We are all souls, sons and daughters of Siva. Easy intellectually, but can be extremely difficult emotionally. One sadhana is to get a picture of said person, and place it on your shrine amongst other deities, tiruvadi, etc. Then for a fixed period of time like one month, place a flower in front of that person. It is like namaskaram where supposedly we greet soul to soul, not personality to personality. If you can't get a picture, then write the person's name down beautifully and use that. Slowly (hopefully) your idea of this person will be that he/she is of God, and not just some personality.


With due respects, whatever the good intentions, this idea seems preposterous to me. Hindus are advised against keeping even the pictures of their deceased parents in the puja room, definitely not with the portraits of deities. Do you have any scriptural or guru source for this suggestion?

My suggestion, Eriko, would be to chant a mantra--say, the gAyatrI mantra--for a fixed number of times daily, with the person in mind, praying that the power of the mantra may mellow the person and let the individual be no longer a bother to you.

[Eastern Mind]

Vannakkam Saidevo:

I have no original thoughts so yes it is from guidance. The suggestion is only for a fixed period, and just as I explained, to be able to see God in all. But the picture can also be placed in a separate area from shrine. People place car keys, thesis's etc, on their shrines as well, but that is different. Certainly I have seen pictures of ancestors near or on home shrines.

Now these are just suggestions for eriko. The more suggestions received the better, I would think. So it is up to her. I don't wish to engage in debate on this, but I can tell you that I have personally done aforementioned sadhana, and it worked quite well in alleviating my 'hatred'.

Of course you are free to differ. Let's not get into debate with each other over such matters. The thread is on offering suggestions to a younger person who came with open sincerity for help.

I think your suggestion is a valid one as well, and will further her options.

Aum namasivaya

[saidevo]

namaste EM.

I knew you meant well. see your point, and well, don't want a debate on this. However, IMHO, such suggestions to a young girl of seventeen should come from her own family or a guru rather than us, who are just well-wishers on the Net. In your case, you have practised Hindu Dharma for a long time, a ripe bhakta, you have a guru, and so this might work for you.

It's just that bhakti is basically dvaita, with its culmination in the bhakta--devotee, feeling one with God through an image of God, rather than an image of a third person. IMHO, if such practise is encouraged, it might result in our kids keeping the pictures of celebrities in the shrine room and worshipping them with what pleases the VIP! A case in point is the fun some kids have in the name of performing the agnihotra ritual, with shoes on and stretching out legs and with a casual 'Hey, I just lit a fire' attitude. I think when it comes to bhakti--devotion, to God, in the Hindu way, the Hindu tradition takes precedence and must be preserved.

No offense meant or taken. I hope and pray that our friend Eriko has her problem solved soon by Shiva's grace. She said in her first post that her real name is Ridhi. Rdh is a beautiful Vedic word meaning 'to grow and prosper'.

[yajvan]

hariḥ oṁ
~~~~~~

namasté eriko,


I don't like someone

This is very undertstandable. Consider the following. The things you do not like in someone else are the things you do not like - or would not do - in yourself. That person is showing you this.

So, what to do? Lets look to the wise. Svāmī Brahmānanda Sarasvatī was Śaṅkarācārya of Jyotirmath (from 1941-1953) , informs us of the following:

Indifference is a very big astra¹ (weapon). Anybody uttering unpleasantness or being disrespectful in any way then be indifferent to him, that is to say; withdraw one's own thought from his direction.

praṇām

words　
astra अस्त्र- a weapon in general ; rooted in 'as' a missile weapon , bolt , arrow ; to throw , cast , shoot at ; to drive away

[eriko]

Namste,

Thank you all. I don't hate that person I just don't like that person for disliking me, being jealous and stuff like that. Nor had I any thoughts regarding taking revenge or anything. But lately I heard that the person was in trouble. And I couldn't help being happy about it. So I guess I will go for this:


withdraw one's own thought from his direction.

Thank you

[Sahasranama]

.....