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truthseeker96
13 December 2010, 09:14 AM
i've found a temple that i think is cool, they're not specific to any one deity, and they accept anyone who has good intentions

the only problem is that it's full of ethnic hindus...i'm not racist but i just feel really adverse to practicing with these people (it feels like i just don't belong there)

so how would i overcome this?

peace and love :D

c.smith
13 December 2010, 09:44 AM
Dear Truthseeker,
You didn't mention why you feel you don't belong there specifically, but I've had experiences of feeling like I'm an outsider, not accepted because I'm white, etc - none of which seem to be true - I let my ego get the better of me. Is that what you're experiencing?

On the other hand you are SO lucky that you've found a temple that can be accepting of those with good intentions. It helps too that you think the place is "cool", so I take it that there is some degree of comfort. You mentioned that they do not worship a specific deity. In my experience, this can be common but is not always the case. Is your Ishta there? That would certainly be another plus.

When I mentioned to the pandit at my mandir that I would like to become more involved in temple activities, I was surprised to find that aside from puja and arti, they really don't do much else at this particular site. He mentioned that in Hinduism, many consider it a personal religion and worship daily at home shrines, visiting the temple say, perhaps once a week or so. Of course there are those in attendance daily, but he noted that they are few, at least there. Monday, being the day of Shiva, and Wednesday, being the day of Maa Ambe, are the two big days there. Other days that I've visited I've been the only one there and get to do the puja myself. Is this an option for you?

In any case, if you've haven't stuck with it for a while, please do so. However, if it truly isn't where you need to be, seek out other temples perhaps by speaking with members of your current mandir for suggestions.

Best of luck to you. Please continue to post because there are many wise souls here who can offer much more than I.

Eastern Mind
13 December 2010, 10:02 AM
the only problem is that it's full of ethnic hindus...i'm not racist but i just feel really adverse to practicing with these people (it feels like i just don't belong there)

so how would i overcome this?



Vannakkam truthseeker: I'm sorry but what you said does indeed come across as racist, at least to me. The term 'these people' in particular. Each person there is an individual, not like a bird in a flock of birds. I think perhaps some soul searching is in order. There are very few temples where white Hindus are predominant. Some established by swamis who hold yoga classes and some ISCKON ones are the only ones that come to mind.

You are not alone in this programming. I've met others who felt the same sense of discomfort. Some still do or even dropped Hinduism because of it.
'Ethnic' Hindus know a heckuva lot more than we do in general, with the exceptions of very long term WASH es or some 'ethnic' ones who have been away and are now just returning.

Why are we there? Why are we exploring? It has absolutely nothing to do with race!

I hope your inner search finds peace somewhere, and I hope the members of HDF can give you a break because of your age. BTW, its Gandhi, not Ghandi.

Aum Namasivaya

truthseeker96
13 December 2010, 12:12 PM
yeah, i guess you're right...it's my ego and fear talking

i said something the wrong way, i don't go to the temle, but i consider it "my" temple because i'm good friends with a couple who go there (they're the ones who told me that it's mostly ethnic hindus there) and i've spoken to the preacher/pandit/something over the phone twice....i'm trying to get myself the courage to go to investigate, so it'll be soon

one fear i have is how literally they might take their religion (like assuming that lord shiva is a deity in the sky who gets mad and destroys the universe or thinking that lord hanuman actually ate the sun) while i beleive those stories to be metephors and fables to teach lessons

thanks for your wisdom, i'll post an update when i've investegated further

Eastern Mind
13 December 2010, 12:56 PM
Vannakkam truthseeker: In retrospect, I jumped to a lot of incorrect assumptions 30 years ago. I referred to my fellow temple devotees as a collective, "the Tamils" back then, but rarely do now.

I think it is folly to assume anything. Perhaps your friends, for example aren't 'typical' of the devotees there. Maybe they are more colour conscious than others.

Here are some false assumptions I made:

I thought all Hindus were vegetarians ... wrong!
I thought most would have read at least some scripture ... wrong!
I thought many would be generous in giving to the temple ... wrong!
I thought many would be able to explain esoterics to me, with reasons ... wrong!
I thought many would be regular attendees... yup wrong againhttp://www.hindudharmaforums.com/images/icons/icon7.gif

So each individual varies, and it takes a ton of time to get to know anyone, let alone those who you only see once. Which temple is it, if you don't mind me asking?

Aum Namasivaya

truthseeker96
13 December 2010, 01:17 PM
http://www.vediccenterofgreenville.org/

the vedic center of greenville

Sahasranama
13 December 2010, 02:00 PM
one fear i have is how literally they might take their religion (like assuming that lord shiva is a deity in the sky who gets mad and destroys the universe or thinking that lord hanuman actually ate the sun) while i beleive those stories to be metephors and fables to teach lessons


This is how we have learned the stories from generation to generation. I am more afraid of westerners who assume that these stories are myths. You might want to stay away from the temples where these people are worshipping "mythical" creatures. I have seen westerners in temples laughing out loud or making fun of Hindus, because we believe in the existence of Gods. If you cannot bring respect for this faith, you have nothing to look for in a temple, you might as well stay away.

It's not our job to explain to you what the esoteric meanings or so called life lessons of Hinduism are. If you don't have faith in Hindu deities, you might as well learn some life lessons from ancient Greek and Egyptian mythology. Pick up a book that explains these things about Hinduism, like I.K. Taimni's "Introduction to Hindu symbolism." The temple is a place to worship a deity, so that you can have anugraha (grace) from the deity and strengthen your devotion. It's not a place where some oracle is going to tell you an esoteric secret about the meaning of life.

NayaSurya
13 December 2010, 05:15 PM
Going to the temple over and over again, unworthy to enter, I sat in the parking lot in the car and prayed. It took years to get up the courage to even drive in the private drive past the gate to park...and many more years to get out and step inside.

This moment in my head was like the end of the video game Zelda, Link To The Past. If you aren't familiar with this, I am sure Youtube has some videos of folks completing it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcxlvAzDgaI&feature=related

(Found it)

It's such a long game, many trials and you build up to this one VERY difficult battle with Ganon and have to fight him with arrows on a platform in the dark. It's ridiculously hard and ....oh the hours I spent working out the pattern.

But, then it happened. I hit him and he fell over the side and I WON!

I went beyond this to the triforce and it was shining and wonderful.

Now, in my heart, this is how I felt about finally accepting this divine portion of my fate...after such a long road, filled with much sorrow and confusion, joy and happiness...I was home.

But, the poor folks attending temple that day saw a chubby platinum blonde break down in tears, unable to know these things which brought her to such a state.

For it was then it occured to me that this was not the glorious victory I had long waited for and the end of my journey , but merely the begining.

I have a silly suggestion but it worked for me.

Go back an clean the toilets, do it without them asking or knowing. Do it a bunch of times....it helped me.

I really wish our temple was closer, I would go everyday to clean this way...it really helped me check that ego at the door and move forward in a very goodly way.

Hugs<3

truthseeker96
14 December 2010, 06:51 PM
you misunderstood me, i have huge respect for the traditional hindu beleifs, but i'm just afraid that they'll be so superstisious and non-estoric that i'll be looked at in a weird light when i ask the pandit about these things

thanks guys, you're the best!

Eastern Mind
14 December 2010, 07:04 PM
Vannakkam truthseeker: So go already. Ask your questions. Observe what others do. Stop jumping to conclusions or making any expectations. Then after you've experienced what ever you're destined to experience there, get back to us.

I for one will be waiting. All the best.

Aum namasivaya

truthseeker96
14 December 2010, 07:09 PM
okay, sorry for my ignorance

peace

Eastern Mind
14 December 2010, 07:29 PM
Vannakkam ts: I'm sorry if I came across harsh. Most pundits I know would love any questions as the average Joe devotee doesn't ask questions. They just go along. In the temple that you plan to go to, because its North Indian, part of the pundit's dharma is to answers questions, so he should.

I just think you're being a tad overanxious is all. I believe that there is about 99% chance it will go far better than you might expect. It usually does. Of course there is always the chance it won't - for you. Why won't you just go with the friends you mentioned? That would ease you into it.

Aum Namasivaya