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Divine Kala
05 January 2011, 08:37 PM
Namaste

First allow me to give you an explanation of asexuality from the website http://www.asexuality.org/home/ .


An asexual is someone who does not experience sexual attraction. Unlike celibacy, which people choose, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are. Asexuality does not make our lives any worse or any better, we just face a different set of challenges than most sexual people. There is considerable diversity among the asexual community; each asexual person experiences things like relationships, attraction, and arousal somewhat differently. Asexuality is just beginning to be the subject of scientific research (http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Research_relating_to_asexuality).

My question is, what is the stance of Sanatana Dharma in regards to asexuality? I, myself, am asexual and often wonder what it means for me, spiritually. I experience intense love for God but absolutely no desire to 'know' anyone physically.

Adhvagat
05 January 2011, 10:38 PM
I find it a little weird as a neutrality towards sexual impulse. It just doesn't seem natural to me. But I may be talking out of prejudice here.

I think the asexuality quality that someone may attribute to a celibate person is also wrong, because what is happening there is a re-channeling of energy before it even manifests itself as sexual energy, like Jung observed that libido is not sexual energy, it's pure psychic energy before all else.

So well, in this sense, yeah, asexuality would be present and in some parts of life, desirable.

Om Tat Sat

Divine Kala
07 January 2011, 08:26 PM
I fail to see why so many people view asexuality as abnormal. I have never felt particularly bothered by my lack of sexual desire but I know of many people who do, believing that they should want to have sex with others and torturing themselves over the fact that they don't want to.

I find literally no pleasure in being touched sexually and have decided not to torture myself over this lack of interest. If this is the result of past karmas, whether good or bad, than I am grateful for it and consider it a blessing. I enjoy many things and my focus isn't impaired by lust and the desire for physical contact.

sunyata07
10 January 2011, 10:14 AM
Namaste,

You raise an interesting question, and I am wondering myself how asexuality would be according to Santana Dharma philosophy. I do not know much on the subject, but I remember from my college human sexuality module that asexuality is probably the rarest type of sexuality there is, even more so than true bisexuality. Or maybe it's the other way around? ...



I fail to see why so many people view asexuality as abnormal.


I hope you don't see Pietro's view as being in any negative or derogatory. Abnormal is not always bad - it just simply means something does not follow the norm. I think people might be curious about the lack of sexual desire - in our modern, oversexualised society they might even be shocked by such a notion! - but I can hardly see why they would find it something to frown upon. Asexuality is no more "unnatural" than homosexuality. Why question its purpose, why question how "natural" something is? If we think like this, are we not confining Nature in some sense, from which we have seen nothing is impossible?

Spiritually, I think you could be right in regarding your lack of physical interest in others, a boon. You might even say it's like skipping a grade in school. Certainly, it would be one less thing to worry about.

Om namah Shivaya

Adhvagat
10 January 2011, 04:56 PM
Kala, as I put I may be talking out of prejudice. Because I know that even trying to understand the other person sincerely it's truly difficult to overcome one's own previously formed opinions.

If you really feel nothing bad psychologically about this and took the proper measures to investigate so (introspection, self-inquiry) then just use your energy where it's best applied. I think that according to my country and general behavior of people of my age, my stance is also abnormal.

I was recently reading about Brahmacarya on the e-book 'Saivite Virtue' (Eastern Mind recommended me) and I got in touch with some concepts that I wasn't really familiar before, like the energy connection that happens during sexual intercourse and how the world's open promiscuity makes it so that these energy connections become a great clouding factor on people's mind. Perhaps that just doesn't interest you.

If we consider God to be the source and provider of senses, we also need to consider that he's also in sexual intercourse. You're just one step closer to treating this manifestation of God with respect.

But I do stress the point of questioning yourself and taking the steps to figure out if this is a natural state or the energy is being directioned somewhere else (which can be either a bad or good thing). But please don't take as an offense, I know you're older than me and probably you already went through this process, I'm just saying because when we push doubt to the dark corners of our minds, it grows stronger and ready to attack us when we least need.

Om Tat Sat

yajvan
10 January 2011, 07:29 PM
hariḥ oṁ
~~~~~~

namasté


I see it as a blessing... no disturbances, no longings for sexual congress. It seems to me (then) vairāgya¹ is on sure footing and can be advanced.

praṇām

words

vairāgya वैराग्य - dispassion for sense objects; the senses are not swayed or pulled in by the objects of the world. Said another way an aversion or distaste from worldly desires or an indifference to worldly objects i.e. knowing that finite things do not contain happiness.
This too is mentioned by Patañjali - dispassion for sense objects; the senses are not swayed or pulled in by the objects of the world.

Divine Kala
11 January 2011, 06:38 PM
I was recently reading about Brahmacarya on the e-book 'Saivite Virtue' (Eastern Mind recommended me) and I got in touch with some concepts that I wasn't really familiar before, like the energy connection that happens during sexual intercourse and how the world's open promiscuity makes it so that these energy connections become a great clouding factor on people's mind. Perhaps that just doesn't interest you.

If we consider God to be the source and provider of senses, we also need to consider that he's also in sexual intercourse. You're just one step closer to treating this manifestation of God with respect.


As an asexual I am among many who, while uninterested in sex, have a great respect for it. Sometimes I regret that I will probably never experience it in the same manner that sexual people do. I will never find that piece of God that others do during intercourse and that's sad. But I can find God in so many other things. I am an artist and while I often complain about the process from beginning to end I find God in it, especially the finished product. I am also a writer and the inspiration for the stories I write... surely they do not all come from my mind? Surely there is a spark of the Divine in them.


But I do stress the point of questioning yourself and taking the steps to figure out if this is a natural state or the energy is being directioned somewhere else (which can be either a bad or good thing). But please don't take as an offense, I know you're older than me and probably you already went through this process, I'm just saying because when we push doubt to the dark corners of our minds, it grows stronger and ready to attack us when we least need.

I never had to question myself, Pietro. There is nowhere else that the energy is being directed as it just... isn't there. I do not look at men and women and think 'oh, gosh, he's/she's hot stuff, I'd like to get in his/her pants' instead I think 'I'd love to draw him/her!' or 'they're really pretty, I wonder what they're like?'. Never a sexual thought about anyone.

Some people must go through a great deal of soul searching but I am blessed to be at peace with who and what I am. I am seeing a devotee of Jagadguru Shri Kripalu Ji Maharaj tonight and tomorrow I will be having a one on one with her. I intend to ask her about my asexuality as well.

sm78
12 January 2011, 06:18 AM
I fail to see why so many people view asexuality as abnormal. I have never felt particularly bothered by my lack of sexual desire but I know of many people who do, believing that they should want to have sex with others and torturing themselves over the fact that they don't want to.
We tend to single out the uncommon and generally look at it with doubtful eyes. Indeed it is little arrogant ...


I am grateful for it and consider it a blessing. I enjoy many things and my focus isn't impaired by lust and the desire for physical contact.
But please don't be aready too sure or arrogant that you have a blessing (which has been denied to others) in form of not having any sexual desire, and that this might lead to any faster or surer means of spiritual evolution.


Coming back to the original questions, I don't think there is any answer to this topic in Hinduism since I don't believe it was seriously raised. Rest assured there can be nothing wrong on with being an asexual in most schools of Hindu thought.

However opinions vary. In my opinion, experience & instruction having or not having sexual desires have little bearing on the final spiritual fullfillment and happy life. On contrary having desires is definitely more favourable. Suppressing sexual desires is definitely counter productive.

But others will have different opinions (where supressing, they say transmuting, is not only encouraged but viewed as necessary for spiritual development).

SanathanaDharma
13 January 2011, 09:55 AM
Dear Friend,

In order to clear the genuine doubt which has occurred to you, lets examine and analyse the details...

Lets start with the Parabramha[The Supreme Soul]...Parabramha is "avyaktha"...meaning Parabramha is beyond the perception of senses

Lets define the terms "perception" and "senses"

Any living being is made up of Aatma,Jeeva and Deha

- Subtle and metaphysical
Aatma: An instance of Paramathma
Jeeva: Contains the 4 Antaratma and 5 Indriayas
- Physical and materialistic
Deha: Is the "kshetra" or the "place of activity", into which the Jeeva along with the Aatma enters and leaves

Lets understand Jeeva and its association with Deha

Jeeva which is made up of
- 4 Antaratma:

and
[B]- 5 Senses
- the sense of touch which gives an interpretation to the term feel/touch, which is the rudimentary feature of atmosphere [which is only materialistic]
- the sense of hearing gives an interpretation to the term sound, which is the rudimentary feature of air [which is only materialistic]
- the sense of sight gives an interpretation to the term light/vision, which is the rudimentary feature of fire [which is only materialistic]
- the sense of taste gives an interpretation to the term taste, which is the rudimentary feature of water [which is only materialistic]
- the sense of smell gives an interpretation to the term smell, which is the rudimentary feature of earth/matter [which is only materialistic]
Deha provides a platform or a framework to Jeeva...Deha provides the hardware which can be used by Jeeva

Deha is made up of
- voluntary organs [ heart, lungs, liver, stomach, etc which are not under the control of mind]
- involutary organs which act as actuators or performers of actions[hands, legs, mouth, reproductory organs, excretary organs which can be controlled ny mind ]
- parts used as sensors [skin[associated with touch], ears[associated with hearing], eyes[associated with vision], tongue[associated with taste] , nose[associated with smell] ]
- and ofcourse rest of the elements which include bones, blood, muscles, nerves, etc

- So how does everything work...what is perception of senses...who perceives....
Now, one of the most important system inside the deha is the "nervous system"...

nerves are the wires which connect all the sensory parts[skin, ears, eyes, tongue, nose] to the "brain".....whenever the sensory parts sense anything
a signal or an impulse is sent into the brain....its in the brain where the subtle elements of Antaratma are present....

Intellect-budhi is the element which can actually gain "knowledge" and knowledge here, refers to definition of everything or "meaning" of everything

Intellect stores the information-knowledge it gains in the local memory[inside brain]

Mind-manas is the one which actually uses the knowledge gained by the intellect, and interprets the meaning of every definition...

Sense organs sense the materialistic objects and send the information as an impulse through the nerves.

The nerves carry this impulse to brain, where the mind uses the knowledge gained by the intellect to interpret the impulse brought in by the nerves...

Example:
When we eat something, the tongue[sense organ] senses the food, sends a signal through the nerves to the brain.
This impulse carries information regarding the taste[materialistic composition] of the food.
Now when this impulse reaches brain, mind checks the memory[local storage] and interprets the food either as "sweet" or "sour" or "spicy" or "bland".

The mind then starts to condition itself to a particular impulse[which is materialistic] and slowly gets accustomed to it and this is what we term a "liking"
Once the mind starts "liking" any impulse provided by any sense organ, it starts to interpret the term "pleasure"[which is materialistic because the source itself is materialistic]
And once the mind gets the interpretation of the term pleasure, it starts to crave more for it...this is what is known as "desire"
Then the mind slowly goes out of its way to get those impulses which give it pleasure and starts indulging itself to get more and more "materialistic impulses from the sense organs"
At this point mind suppresses the intellect, forgets everything else, and only "likes" to "enjoy" the "materialistic pleasure" provided by the sense organ impulses
This is the point when the mind does not allow the intellect to gain "real knowledge" about Paramathma, instead tries hard to enjoy pleasure alone....

Genitals
- Just like every sense organ is connected by the nerves, the skin on genitals have a large number of nerve endings attached to them.
Both the male and female genitals have thousands of nerves connecting them to the brain...the genitals are nothing but
skin connected to brain through numerous nerves...any feeling of touch on the skin present on the genitals, causes the thousands
of nerves to immediately send millions of impulses to the mind...and its the mind which interprets all these signals as "pleasure"..its the mind
which starts to crave for more such signals..its the mind which desires and enjoys the "materialistic pleasure" provided by the skin on the
genitals...the desire is high only because of the huge number of nerves which carry the signals....this is roughly termed as sexual desire....

- Asexuality- Results of previous deeds
Based on the deeds of the previous "janma-birth", the Jeeva will experience the results of previous deeds, in the current birth....
Some are born blind and some are deaf...some without some body parts and some without speech...some without proper intellect itself and
some without proper sensation....just like a blind man, even though he has eyes, but nothing is sensed by them and thus no signals are
sent to the mind, similarly the skin on the genitals of a asexual person do not send any signals to the brian...

- How is it possible
Anesthesia is the best example...when anesthesia is applies to any sense organ of the deha, it acts as a wall and stops any signal to be
sent to the brain..and thus, even if the part of the body under anesthesia is removed, the mind "does not feel any pain" at all...as there are no
signals sent to the brain....

- why does it happen..why are some born blind or deaf or dumb or asexual
The Jeeva is simply experiencing the "results" of its previous "deeds"...In the previous "janma", when a person is born perfectly with everything working fine,
if the mind is not kept under control, if the intellect does not gain real knowledge, and when the mind misuses the given opportunity, it starts committing
many sins, under the influence of rajo and tamo gunas...and as it was the mind which found "pleasure" in committing all those sins in the previous janma,
hence its the same "mind", in thus janma, is deprived of that particular sense...the result of the previous deed acts as anesthesia in this janma
...thus not allowing the mind to experience any impulse from that particular sense organ...no one can escape the perfect rules of "Dharma"....

- is it a boon or a curse
Again it depends on how one conditions the mind in this "janma"
- if the mind "perceives" it as a curse, if the mind laments that it is unable to experience the "materialistic pleasure" which others experience,
if the mind is frustrated and thinks that it is "abnormal", then the mind again is going in the wrong path...it definitely needs to be set right....
- if the mind "perceives" it as a boon, thinks the current situation as one sense being automatically controlled, thus making this Jeeva move one big step
closer to Paramathma, its such a mind which is going in the right path....

So what is the conclusion?
Sexual or asexual, blind or deaf...it does not matter...what only matters is "bhakthi-devotion" towards Paramathma.....

One mis understanding where correction is definitely needed..

Bramhacharya or celibacy is not a stage where one becomes "asexual"....its all about controlling the ever fickle "mind" to win over "senses",
even when the senses are working perfectly.....as Sri Krishna says in Bhagavat Gita, one must withdraw the mind towards Him, away from the senses just like a tortoise withdraws its feet and lets into its shell, from the outer world....
Its realising the truth, gaining real knowledge and thus understanding the fact that "Sense organs provide materialistic pleasure alone", and
realising the Paramathma , who is beyond sense perception, is that which provides "the REAL BLISS" is the main aim of "Bramhacharya" and ofcourse "this Life".....

Divine Kala
14 January 2011, 08:04 AM
SanathanaDharma ji

I feel that I must clarify something here. While I identify myself as asexual that is not to say that I do not feel sexual pleasure; it's ... nice - I suppose? - but it's not something I seek. It's not something I interested in and I don't feel sexual arousal either. I have tried but it's just not there but that is not to say that the proper stimulation won't cause me to orgasm. Everything works but the 'lust' is missing. I simply have absolutely no desire for anything sexual. It's very... boring.

Eastern Mind
16 January 2011, 02:34 AM
Vannakkam Divine Kala: Perhaps you are just on the extreme low end of the 'sexed' spectrum. We use the terms 'highly sexed' to describe people with high sex drives so it follows that the opposite is true. I have known people with very low drives, but perhaps not as low as yours.

Regarding the abnormal bit, I don't much is abnormal any more. I agree with Sunyata in this regard. As for blessing or not, I would say it is neither. It just is what it is.

The other thought that occurred is that it may be something like being born blind or deaf or with any other condition outside the norm. Thank goodness we have such a wide range of humanity.

Aum Namasivaya

SanathanaDharma
17 January 2011, 09:52 AM
Dear Divine Kala ji

"I feel that I must clarify something here. While I identify myself as asexual that is not to say that I do not feel sexual pleasure; "

That means you definitely are not asexual, but on the contrary, you have a very well conditioned mind....its your mind which was under control in your previous janma...your mind had controlled the feeling of "lust" ....and in this janma, you are born in the same nature in which your mind was conditioned in your previous janma...thus you continue to have the same "good mentality" and hence, the well conditioned mind of yours, does not "crave" of "sexual pleasure".

"I have tried but it's just not there but that is not to say that the proper stimulation won't cause me to orgasm. Everything works but the 'lust' is missing."
it's ... nice - I suppose? - but it's not something I seek. It's not something I interested in and I don't feel sexual arousal either. I simply have absolutely no desire for anything sexual.

But my dear friend, please do use the organ to perform your prescribed duty of creation...
-Its a prescribed duty of every individual to lawfully get married[as clearly mentioned in the Manu Smrithi]
and its a prescribed duty for every person who is married, to put an effort, perform the duty, in order to continue the process of "Srushti" or "Creation". The process of creation is mainly done as a duty because what "knowledge" has been gained by us "must" be passed on to the next generation, in order to sustain the Universe over the strong pillars of Dharma.....in order to allow other Jeevas to also attain mukthi ...

"It's very... boring."

Use this organ to do your duty alone and not for the sake of pleasure ..please do not restrain yourself from the duty just because it does not "excite you"...
just like eating food is everones duty and just liking eating food gives satisfaction to the mind, similarly
using the organ provided by Him to produce the seed[male] and the organ provided by Him to produce the egg[female], needs to be used only for begetting children[which is everyones duty]...and doing this action automatically gives the pleasure to mind[just like eating food gives satisfaction]...but then one who controls the mind, who does not fall for sense gratification, who does only the duty, without expecting to enjoy the results,offering everything to Paramathma, he/she is the one who is in the right path of reaching Him....

Also please refer to this post[http://www.hindudharmaforums.com/showthread.php?t=6789] where the details of Purushartha including Kaama are explained are explained....

Ramakrishna
19 January 2011, 10:59 PM
Namaste Divine Kala,

While I would hesitate to call it a blessing, being asexual definitely has it's advantages. This is in regards to obvious things such as not having to deal with lust or sexual yearning.

Jai Sri Ram

benjaminvisser
16 May 2011, 01:59 PM
Hi ‘Divine Kala’,

I’m Benjamin, from the Netherlands, and I came across your posts about asexuality. We're already some months after, but maybe you're still occupied by the subject. I met a girl who probably is asexual, and I got interested in the subject. I was especially curious in the experience of the specific person towards sex. e.g. if you have a partner or husband/wife who isn't asexual (thus likes/needs sex), couldn't you see the whole 'happening' as you see/do 'sports' or just as any regular activity you do? Or are you (is that person) really aversive towards 'the deed'?

Other information sources (wiki, other internet sites) mention that asexuality is just another sexual orientation, but a real 'cause' or definition they fail to provide. The previous explanation by the sanathanadharma I find the most understanding/explanatory; I can understand it much clearer with this explanation with the athma, jeeva, deha. One thing I didn't agree on, though, or put differently, I didn't feel ok about it. The writer categorizes this 'asexuality' (unintentionally?) with other conditions, such as blind, deaf or dumb. I trust that this was not ment to judge or categorize, but unintentionally it insinuated that 'asexuality' is a 'deficit', a disability or handicap. As you replied right, you FEEL sexual pleasures, but sex(ual activities) is not at all what you seek or desire. So the 'urge' is that what is absent, not the 'sexual energy'.

The explanation continues that the ‘Jeeva’, in previous ‘janma-birth’, fail to ‘gain control over the mind, the intellect does not gain knowledge, and when the mind misuses the given opportunity, it starts committing many sins, under the influence of rajo and tamo gunas’. (sanathanadharma note). Now I wouldn’t look for the explanation of asexuality in terms of ‘sin’, as this has a negative meaning in my ears.
Following the yoga sutras of Patanjali, the outer world (prakriti, really EVERYTING around us) has the sole function of delivering experience to the Purusha. Experiences have to be ‘witnessed’; you have to go ‘through’ them, whether you want or not, simply to become fully aware of them, so that they can be dissolved. For me personally, this is a very delightful realization, because now I undertake my ‘experiences’ with a great openness, quite a courage. Anyhow, my interpretation is that if you fully ‘witness’ (are aware of) your experiences, their function becomes useless and consequently cancel, they dissolve, they have realized their aim. Consequently, your ‘interest’ in this activity fades away.

I think this is happening to me with dancing salsa. I dance a lot salsa, and especially in this hobby, I apply some exercises to really become aware of the moment. Besides becoming really ‘good’ at it, I also explore the breathings, and the moments between the change in citta vrrtis (i.e. content temporarily, at a specific moment present in the mind). What is happening now, is that I more and more start to lose interest in dancing salsa; I still do it, but with less and less taste, so to speak. I don’t know why this happens, maybe because I have learnt the ‘lessons’ of perfectionizing my skills, getting to know my body, understand the relationship with the other person/dancepartner etc. Another example of this phenomenon is when you lose interest/taste in a certain music genre, if you listen to it long enough.

If a former live has something to do with it (as this is most certainly true, since asexuality is ‘present’ at birth, or ‘inborn’), I think that you ‘finished’ this task in a previous life, i.e. becoming fully aware of the function, the purpose of sex, sexual relationships, the energy that is involved with this, etc etc. Reasons you can/should think of yourself. There is no problem/issue etc, whatsoever with being asexual, in this sense. The only problem is dealing with sexual persons (partners, wife, husband, friends?) and getting them to understand that the problem is theirs; their (yet unfinished) exercise of sexual self-control, sexual sublimation, or brahmacharya is not yet finished. (Ordinarily brahmacharya is understood to mean control of sexual organs and prevention of seminal discharge through complete control over the sexual instinct and the sexual organs (http://mohandaskaramchandgandhi. wordpress.com/2008/09/08/brahmacharya-self-restraint-control-of-sexual-organs/).

If certain ideas are accepted by society, doesn’t mean they are good, or that an absence of the matter is bad. That every woman menstruates doesn’t mean this is ‘natural’ or ‘the way it is’. Society requires you to educate yourself, but the current educational system could even well be very destructive in finding your true path. If having sex, having partners, marrying etc is a fundamental part of society, this doesn’t mean that being asexual is condemnable. Society as a whole also loses (universal) knowledge. You could start to do yoga (or similar subjects) with your friends/parters etc, and show them the immense advantage of sublimizing their sexual energy (try tantra, kundalini yoga, or, indeed, bhakthi yoga as sanathanadharma mentiones). Ha, now I see it clearly, and I see now you much I can learn from my (girl)friend!!! Thanks for this!!

Most kind greetings,

Benjamin (NL)

charitra
16 May 2011, 11:24 PM
Namaste
From her post #10 it appears DK is on the lower end of libido scale. No, it is not abnormal at all. It is in fact a blessing indeed IMHO. Some men rank on the other end of the spectrum and pay a heavy price with their inability to focus on their studies, career and run into trouble throughout their lives. Brahmacharya and renunciation are not negatively characterized in SD, although Grihastha ashram is a universally recommended stage for both men and women. Just be natural and go with what your mind and body collectively demand of you. This sexually hypercharged society and culture we live in, some might inadvertently label you negatively, thats an unwelcome baggage one may have to contend with.

nitinsharma
17 May 2011, 02:34 AM
Namaste

First allow me to give you an explanation of asexuality from the website http://www.asexuality.org/home/ .



My question is, what is the stance of Sanatana Dharma in regards to asexuality? I, myself, am asexual and often wonder what it means for me, spiritually. I experience intense love for God but absolutely no desire to 'know' anyone physically.

I know I am taking this discussion to a lower level,but can I ask as to how you got there in the first place????Unless of curse,its too personal.I'm really interested(for the right reasons btw).

Divine Kala
17 May 2011, 04:02 AM
I know I am taking this discussion to a lower level,but can I ask as to how you got there in the first place????Unless of curse,its too personal.I'm really interested(for the right reasons btw).

I have never been physically interested in sex. I am interested in it - at times - intellectually but never actually felt the urge to go out and do it. When I hit puberty I became very interested in reading about it but even then the desire to actually do anything was decidedly lacking.

I know the desire is non existent because I've had been in situations where, if I were sexual, it would have been interesting. As it is, it was just... boring. There was no pleasure derived from the acts and I would have been happy if they'd never began. Very, very boring.

For the record, I've never been sexually abused so it's not as though I'm hiding from memories.

anirvan
17 May 2011, 12:00 PM
I seriously believe such behaviour are not normal at all including homosexuality-gayism.the reason being some where in pranic or energy body,some major block would be there for the reason which the normal pranik flow is not taking place.

The reason may be several

1-past karma
2-serious psychological trauma ,mostly in formative years
3-physical level-hormonal
4-chronic depression however low grade it may be cause lack of libido

If you look at different psycho-sexual disorder,there are so much peculiar conditions exists.some female are extremely afraid of it,some feel sever pain with intercourse ..so on.
So plese dont come to a conclusion at so young age without any proper experience.these things are now so common in western worlds.you observed something in you,googled it on net,got some forum/dot.com supporting it and then lebeled it on your own.
now such homosexuality things are spreading in India too and kali"s concluding time is no longer.

I think you need to do a proper check up with best endocrinologist,sexologist and psychologist and psychoanalyst(psychiatrist).sometimes self hypnosis may help to find the exact block at subconscious and correct it.

Libido is must for Love,may be in worldly level,be it in spiritual devotion.its the libido that after purification becomes real love.
Even i have experienced it in my dhyana/puja(ofcourse with male god-krishna)

In majority of ecstatic urge for divine union,seminal discharge is very common
as i have heard from experienced devotees as also my own experience.

smaranam
17 May 2011, 12:27 PM
Namaste

This is a classic example of why the material world is a perverted ( i.e. inverse, topsy-turvey) reflection of the spiritual world - w.r.t. what the "norm" is, how things are "supposed to be". One can be very romantic yet "asexual", and it looks as simple as vairagya.

DivineKala,

You get pro-marriage advice from good people here because women are adviced not to spend life alone in society.
Don't get married
UNLESS Krishna, Shiva , MA Durga have other plans for you
and
UNLESS you find someone just like you.

Perhaps this should go on your other thread - about marriage (in the material world of course).

Why go backwards when the Lord wants us to walk straight to Him ? If BramhAnanda of Parameshwar is the ocean, the so-called "norm" of the material-world is like "muddy water in a calf's hoof-print."

THE BIGGER QUESTION IS - protecting children from these "norms" - one is "supposed to have a girl/boy friend", is "supposed to listen to a certain type of songs and watch certain types of videos" etc. Unfortunately, the media, TV, internet, magazines, but worse - most unexpected places - are so full of nonsense.

BAlam Mukundam manasA smarAmi ~

Divine Kala
17 May 2011, 06:00 PM
I seriously believe such behaviour are not normal at all including homosexuality-gayism.the reason being some where in pranic or energy body,some major block would be there for the reason which the normal pranik flow is not taking place.

The reason may be several

1-past karma
2-serious psychological trauma ,mostly in formative years
3-physical level-hormonal
4-chronic depression however low grade it may be cause lack of libido

If you look at different psycho-sexual disorder,there are so much peculiar conditions exists.some female are extremely afraid of it,some feel sever pain with intercourse ..so on.
So plese dont come to a conclusion at so young age without any proper experience.these things are now so common in western worlds.you observed something in you,googled it on net,got some forum/dot.com supporting it and then lebeled it on your own.
now such homosexuality things are spreading in India too and kali"s concluding time is no longer.

I think you need to do a proper check up with best endocrinologist,sexologist and psychologist and psychoanalyst(psychiatrist).sometimes self hypnosis may help to find the exact block at subconscious and correct it.

Libido is must for Love,may be in worldly level,be it in spiritual devotion.its the libido that after purification becomes real love.
Even i have experienced it in my dhyana/puja(ofcourse with male god-krishna)

In majority of ecstatic urge for divine union,seminal discharge is very common
as i have heard from experienced devotees as also my own experience.

Anirvan ji, I am unsure as to why you insist that something is wrong. For your knowledge, I HAVE spoken to psychiatrists, psychologists and other doctors and their advice has always been that, inspite of my bipolar, there is nothing wrong with my lack of sexuality.

I have been this way for as long as I can remember and I HAVE been in situations where, were I sexual, intercourse and pleasure would have resulted. Every situation has bwen a complete and utter bore to me. I am not sick because of this and I highly doubt that my energy is blocked. I am simply not stuck in the lower chakras.

Would you have me do something that I do not enjoy when I could be doing something that I DO, like learning more about Shiva and Devi Ma? That would make each act akin to rape because I would not be enjoying the act and and be agreeing to it only on the flimsiest if pretenses.

I have experienced the nectar of Ma's love and there was nothing remotely sexual about it for me, thank you very much.

Eastern Mind
17 May 2011, 07:24 PM
Vannakkam Divine Kala: From my point of view, you're perfectly normal. Its only western shrinks and data nuts who like to put up these things like numbers ... within the 95% range is normal. Everbody is normal or abnormal. Personally, I really think there are a lot more asexual people out there than any western psychologist would care to admit. its just that here in the west we have this concept of normalcy that is set out by WESTERN standards. Like the old joke that 99% of men masturbate and the other 1% lie about it. Its hogwash: From a western perspective, maybe not. I know tons of Hindus who through immigration rules, were separated from spouses for periods of up to 5 years, before they could settle here (Canada) and then bring over families through the family reunification aspect of immigration. Did they all get busted for hiring prostitutes? I think not. I've had a few frank talks with some friends, and for that period of time, many were asexual.

Hindus in general are just far less sexual. Look at the common culture, the clothing, the way people interact. As mature souls, we tend to see far beyond sexuality into far more important non-instinctive things like cultivating bhakti.

I don't appreciate western men, in general. They're vulgar, one pointed (on sex) and shallow. Its ridiculous.

So you should feel no need to defend yourself. No more that I do to the west for spending a ton of money on pilgrimage when I could have spent it on beer and movies. No wonder some traditionalists resent the western infiltration into Hindu culture.

Sorry for the rant, but I'm definitely on your side here. I consider you lucky, in the same sense that I'd be lucky if I didn't have facial hair to shave. Why waste your time on stuff that isn't part of the bigger Sanatana Dharma picture of attaining moksha?

Aum Namasivaya

yajvan
17 May 2011, 08:58 PM
hariḥ oṁ
~~~~~~

namasté

In jyotish there are several combinations with venus i.e. śukla¹ as the focal point that infers low interest in sexual congress. This too would also be indicated by the 12th house which rules 'pleasures of the bed'.

So, it is not unusual from an astrological point of view.

praṇām

words

śukla - a later form of śukra - the planet Venus ;
regarded as the son of bhṛgu and preceptor of the daityas.
Note that śukla rules semen, virility , seed of animals male and female , sperm
brightness , clearness , light

devotee
17 May 2011, 10:52 PM
Namaste DK,

Your condition is no defect. It is a boon due to your cultivated practices in several births. All hungers that arise and then subside after indulging in sensual enjoyment are like arising of headache and then feeling relief on application of pain balm. Why to have a pain in the first place ?

However, please don't expect all people to react positively on this issue as most of us are biased due to our own conditioning. You remember one story of "Village of blinds" where having eyes was considered a defect ?

Most of us are all blind ready to sacrifice the most valuable things just for a very-very short-lived sexual pleasure (just a few minutes). We keep chasing sexual pleasure in the hope of becoming happy which is sure way towards the hell full of unhappiness. We are running after deluding mirage in this life. Don't expect any unbiased comments from us. :(

The sexual activity, thoughts take our consciousness to lower centres of cosnciousness (chakras in our spinal chord) and maintaining sexual purity takes it upwards .... the Kundalini arises & takes you towards Self-realisation in this manner. So, be haapy and focus on achieveing much higher than what so-called noraml people can ever achieve in their spiritual pursuits.

May God bless you ! :)

OM

sunyata07
18 May 2011, 01:38 PM
From my point of view, you're perfectly normal. Its only western shrinks and data nuts who like to put up these things like numbers ... within the 95% range is normal. Everbody is normal or abnormal. Personally, I really think there are a lot more asexual people out there than any western psychologist would care to admit.


Scientists always love to come up with numbers for everything, even shrinks. :D What is "normal", anyway, other than an example that adheres to the norm or a tendency of a population? It also begs the question "What population exactly are we talking about when we're talking about sex and statistics?" Westerners in general, Hindus, or Hindus from a Western background? And so on. Where, when and how exactly did the idea of sexual normalcy arise? It all seems to boil down to cultural conditioning (again).

In this oversexed and overindulged material age of Kali-yuga, the behaviour of asexuals or celibates refraining from sensual pleasure must seem like the antithesis of fulfillment! Is it any wonder the average individual would consider it strange, or that there is something "wrong" when a person says he has no interest in sexual gratification? What makes it even more tragic is that some people often have a warped idea of renunciants and holy persons who have taken oaths of celibacy, reintrepreting them to be examples of suppressed sexuality with the intent of hiding perverted behaviours from society, like paedophilia and so on. I guess in such minds, the concept of a lack of sexual desire is just simply unfathomable!

DK, I am in agreement here with the others, and I'm glad you're able to see the lunacy in the suggestions that you should engage in sex until hopefully a spark ignites. If it's not there, it's not there. Don't be swayed for a second by the "don't be silly, everyone is sexual" argument. It's not true. Like the others, I think it is a state of mind that is attained after many lifetimes that allows one to see more and more that: "I am not the body". If anything, I think it could even give you a better appreciation for the real purpose of sex, for the propagation of life, and not for mere bodily satisfaction, just as the devotee who fasts regularly can see more clearly that food is for sustenance, not just for the taste sensations that give him short-lived pleasure and comfort. I think we should see asexuality as a spiritual boon, not an earthly bane.

Om namah Shivaya

Arjuni
19 May 2011, 03:47 AM
Namasté, all,

I agree with most of the commenters who point out that a state of asexuality is a tremendous boon to spiritual practice, and Sunyata, excellent points about what constitutes "normal."

I think most of the societal pressure to be sexual comes from the mistaken idea that the highest human passion and enjoyment is expressed in sexual congress. So for many people, the thought of living in a celibate way is scary because it evokes the image of a lonesome, monotone existence, devoid of truly great enthusiasm or delight. To those who believe this, it seems unfathomable that worship could produce enough bliss to compensate for the loss of sex!

Divine Kala, as long as your life is truly happy and fulfilling, and brings you closer to Kala and from there to the Supreme, then who you sleep with - or don't! - is no-one else's business. Any wish I can conceive that sex might fulfill - companionship, romance, transcendence, offspring - can all be satisfied in other ways, so I can't think of any reason you can't live joyously without that act.

Indraneela
===
Oṁ Indrāya Namaḥ.
Oṁ Namaḥ Śivāya.