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TheOne
31 January 2011, 05:22 PM
I have two personal questions I need help answering. I am a vegetarian but I haven't told anyone besides my school-mates and Hindu friends so my parents still don't know, due in part because of their western mindset it would upset them and cause disharmony. I haven't *voluntarily* eaten meat in over half a year but sometimes my mom buys meat and cooks it so I have three choices, either tell her I'm a vegetarian, lie to her to get out of eating it, or eat it. I usually choose the third one but while I'm eating it I am mindful on God alone and thankful to the animal and god with this food was made because that another animal needlessly died. I am wondering, what suggestions are there and what prayers are there for the well being of Animal life. I've prayed to Ganesha to remove these obstacles for me, and because of grace I had not had to eat any beef in these last six months. Please advise me.


Second question, do Universities in India teach in English? I am in my second year of high school and I am looking at colleges abroad, India interests me partly due to the Culture and religion, and partly due to the fact that I don't want to be exposed to risky situations like in my last question because the Indian culture(not the Bollywood culture) is understanding of other peoples practices(almost too much).

Arjuni
31 January 2011, 06:15 PM
Namasté, TheOne,

I don't have the answer to your second question, but I might be able to help you with the first.

People choose to become vegetarians for many reasons, and it's possible to tell your family you want to stop having meat without disclosing the religious factors involved.

First, do some good research about the health benefits and necessary nutrients in a vegetarian diet. Parents sometimes get scared that you'll keel over from protein deficiencies or vitamin losses, so have solid information available to combat those worries. Dr. Dean Ornish's books are helpful here - he's a cardiologist who was able to reverse severe heart disease in his patients through a vegetarian diet.

Second, you can approach the issue of vegetarianism from several Western-minded angles, such as:

a) Factory farming and its terrible effects on the land and the environment. You can talk about family-love and country-love, and explain that you want your country to be healthy, and your children and grandchildren to have a good place to live. Diet for a New America, by John Robbins, is a good book for this - an excerpt of his work is provided online here (http://www.johnrobbins.info/blog/the-pig-farmer/) - as well as Eric Schlosser's Fast Food Nation.

b) Christianity, the ideals of mercy and compassion for others, and the role of mankind as stewards and caretakers of God's creatures. A great book for this is Matthew Scully's Dominion: The Power of Man, the Suffering of Animals, and the Call to Mercy. (If your family is politically conservative, they might be impressed to see the source: George Bush's former speechwriter.)

c) Health. Everyone wants a healthier mind and body, and there's a lot of information out there about the benefits of a vegetarian diet.

The books I've mentioned are usually carried by public libraries and/or university libraries. If you want Internet links, I have a few of those available as well.

It's a hard talk to have with family, because there's so much social interaction and family bonding involved with meals that to refuse a certain type of food seems like a quiet condemnation of everyone else at the table. If you're armed with sound information, able to have a cogent, calm discussion, and ready to answer your family's fears and concerns, then you'll be in good shape. Of course, Shri Ganesh will help you too! :)

Indraneela
===
Oṁ Indrāya Namaḥ.
Oṁ Namaḥ Śivāya.

satay
31 January 2011, 06:46 PM
namaste,



Second question, do Universities in India teach in English?
As far as I know, almost all indian universities exclusively teach in English. Not only universities but most schools are english medium as well.

Ramakrishna
31 January 2011, 11:51 PM
Namaste TheOne,

I don't know of any specific prayers for the well being of animals, but just continue praying to Lord Ganesha or any other deity you see fit for guidance and grace.

Being born into a Hindu family, I have no experience with "coming out" as a Hindu to family, but perhaps other forum members can give you advice. I would recommend to just continue praying and in the meantime coming up with a plan on how you will eventually notify your family that you are now a Hindu. My prayers and best wishes are with you.

Jai Sri Ram

Adhvagat
01 February 2011, 04:49 AM
Always tell the truth and be honest. If they don't accept now, they will later. Perhaps some time from now you'll be the living example of how good what you follow really is.

Truth can also be presented diplomatically.

Eastern Mind
01 February 2011, 07:28 AM
Vannakkam TheOne: There are so many factors to consider about telling family what you are doing, whether it is becoming a vegetarian when they're not, becoming a meat-eater when they're not, being gay, confessing to a crime you've committed that would embarrass them, or even (unfortunately) bringing home a date of a different race or religion.

All the above are similar. You're making a statement of individuality, and the fear is that they will be hurt, as that's not what they intended for you to 'become'.

For me, I don't know your parents. There is a long continuum ranging from liberal to conservative, and parenting styles. Some parents will accept you unconditionally, whilst others will think they have failed and put it back on you.

I have found that the older you get, the easier it is for them to accept. Also it is easier if you have siblings as each sibling also 'goes astray' in one way or another. Of course, eventually, with financial independence and age, you can just do whatever the heck you want, and risk losing them from it.

Personally, I did a lot of things that didn't reflect my parents way of life: I gave the hunting gun back, became a vegetarian, married young and broke, changed my name, became Hindu, went on pilgrimages they thought I couldn't afford, and more. Still the $1000 cheque each Christmas came to me. The kids spent many a summer camping in Gramma Farm's yard. We learned not to discuss religion. Both sets of parents tolerated the vegetarianism.

As others have said in other ways, time heals all wounds. Usually, in my experience, the parents don't react as harshly as the child expects they will. They might express disapproval, but in the end they have only two choices, tolerate it, or disown you, which is unlikely. Even some of the strongest evangelical conservative parents in America have had to deal with their own reaction to a gay child.

As we've indicated before, there is no huge hurry here. Best wishes with a smooth transition.

As far as learning in English in India goes, you may wish to write the Indian Embassy and ask a few questions about visas before actually doing anything. My guess is you would have to be enrolled in a school before a student visa would be issued. If I were you, I'd pose that question on Indiamike, the travel forum.

Aum Namasivaya

PARAM
01 February 2011, 10:49 AM
I have two personal questions I need help answering. As others have answered you, so you can understand now.


I am a vegetarian but I haven't told anyone besides my school-mates and Hindu friends so my parents still don't know, due in part because of their western mindset it would upset them and cause disharmony. I haven't *voluntarily* eaten meat in over half a year but sometimes my mom buys meat and cooks it so I have three choices, either tell her I'm a vegetarian, lie to her to get out of eating it, or eat it. I usually choose the third one but while I'm eating it I am mindful on God alone and thankful to the animal and god with this food was made because that another animal needlessly died. I am wondering, what suggestions are there and what prayers are there for the well being of Animal life. I've prayed to Ganesha to remove these obstacles for me, and because of grace I had not had to eat any beef in these last six months. Please advise me.Its good you didn't eat beef, Now if I can advice you, then it is tell them You are now vegetarian, for this either you can give excuse given by Indraneel or tell them you are in Dharma, but take care if your Parents are Christian minds then don't disclose your faith, or else you will have to earn yourself for your studies abroad, your parents would not allow you to go to India.



Second question, do Universities in India teach in English? All Universities teaches mainly in English, so you will find no problem, but if you are talking about grammar, Different Universities have different option, and mostly use British English.

TheOne
01 February 2011, 04:39 PM
Thank you, I've decided that at some point I will have to tell my parents about being vegetarian, my mom was one in her earlier days, but I think she sees someone being a vegetarian as "just a phase". My parents already know about my intent to study abroad, and I think they would support me as long as I know what I'm getting myself into. As for telling them my devotion to Dharma, I think it would be wise to tell them that once I myself am sure of my devotion.

PARAM
03 February 2011, 11:01 AM
As for telling them my devotion to Dharma, I think it would be wise to tell them that once I myself am sure of my devotion.
Thats nice

Eastern Mind
03 February 2011, 12:52 PM
I think it would be wise to tell them that once I myself am sure of my devotion.

Vannakkam TheOne:

That's often the case with any argument. One might think its an argument, but actually you're just trying to reconfirm or solidify the concept, whatever it might be, to yourself. Besides that, we have the right or even the destiny to evolve and change over the years.

Aum Namasivaya

sunyata07
03 February 2011, 01:48 PM
As for telling them my devotion to Dharma, I think it would be wise to tell them that once I myself am sure of my devotion.


Namaste TheOne,

I think that might be the wisest thing to do. Unless you have been seriously following the Hindu faith for a long time before coming to this forum and telling us about yourself, it is good to build up more knowledge of your new spiritual path, and become a lot more comfortable with its key tenets, practices, attitudes, etc. In this way, when you tell others for the first time that you have adopted Hinduism as your faith, you won't be bombared with questions that you can't answer (e.g. Is it true that Hindus worship millions of gods? Does that mean you'd worship a cow if you saw one? Where's the weird dot Hindus wear on their foreheads, then?). There will be plenty of those - some can be very crudely put by the way - so it's not a bad idea to be fully prepared, mentally and emotionally.

In my case, I waited well over a year before I told my folks about my change in faith. They must have had an inkling for some time though, what with my open shrine to Ganesha and the rudraksha beads I'd wear around the house sometimes. Dropping very very subtle hints (like citing a new compassion for living things as a reason for your vegetarianism) might be a useful heads up for your family.

May Ganesha remove these obstacles that might hinder your dharma.

Om namah Shivaya