TheOne
18 February 2011, 07:35 PM
This post will be somewhat of a soliloquy.
Ever since I entered Dharma my life has changed dramatically. My mind has centered, my spiritual, mental, and physical complexion has cleared up and when I meditate I feel truly at peace. I have also noticed recently that some of my friends look up to me as a guide in some degrees. I feel truly humbled by this and it nearly brings me to tears that just two years ago I was steeped in adharmic action and had slit my wrists on occasions because I was frustrated that I couldn't stop. These past 2 months have been the best months for me. Not because I made any material gain but because I am now beginning to climb out of the abyss of passion and ignorance and I thank all of you here that have helped me. As I look outside the window on the way home from school I always observe the Earth and how each time the weather and the environment is different. The impermanence of all things is not a cause for despair but I feel it is a joy because I know that even if I can't atone for my previous karmic infractions in this life I know that I can try again in my next incarnation. I am increasingly become centered in mind and spirit but I still struggle daily with passion and ignorance and things not fit to mention among such noble company. I try, and I fail, and I try again, I fail but this no longer saddens me to the degree that it did before. I realize that yes I alone bare the results of my karmic misdeeds but it also means I alone bear the fruit of my positive actions. I have learned recently to not become attached to the results of my attempts at self-improvement and this has loosened the load on my shoulders. I ask my brothers and sisters for prayer and advice. Prayer for me ending my addictions. And advice on how to do so.
Namaste.
Ever since I entered Dharma my life has changed dramatically. My mind has centered, my spiritual, mental, and physical complexion has cleared up and when I meditate I feel truly at peace. I have also noticed recently that some of my friends look up to me as a guide in some degrees. I feel truly humbled by this and it nearly brings me to tears that just two years ago I was steeped in adharmic action and had slit my wrists on occasions because I was frustrated that I couldn't stop. These past 2 months have been the best months for me. Not because I made any material gain but because I am now beginning to climb out of the abyss of passion and ignorance and I thank all of you here that have helped me. As I look outside the window on the way home from school I always observe the Earth and how each time the weather and the environment is different. The impermanence of all things is not a cause for despair but I feel it is a joy because I know that even if I can't atone for my previous karmic infractions in this life I know that I can try again in my next incarnation. I am increasingly become centered in mind and spirit but I still struggle daily with passion and ignorance and things not fit to mention among such noble company. I try, and I fail, and I try again, I fail but this no longer saddens me to the degree that it did before. I realize that yes I alone bare the results of my karmic misdeeds but it also means I alone bear the fruit of my positive actions. I have learned recently to not become attached to the results of my attempts at self-improvement and this has loosened the load on my shoulders. I ask my brothers and sisters for prayer and advice. Prayer for me ending my addictions. And advice on how to do so.
Namaste.