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Caltha
06 August 2011, 08:31 PM
Namaste,

I've been reading these forums for maybe a year or more, but I wanted to be able to meet you, so I signed up.

I too am a western lady (in my 50's). My family was not religious in any sense, but I had a longing for God, and after reading the books of C.S. Lewis I immersed myself in Christianity when I was a teenager. I wasn't a part of any church, and I had never even been to a church. A friend of mine was in a lay Christian community (like a monastery but people can marry and they don't all live in one place) which I became a part of too a few years later as soon as I went away to college. I was also baptized into the Roman Catholic Church.

Many things about my life were difficult for me, and I was very depressed, which this community said meant that I had not given myself sufficiently to Jesus. In fact, they told me to leave the community for a period of time (6 months?) while I thought things through. They accepted me back after the six months were over and I tried to appear happier even though I wasn't.

When I left college I lived in another city and I couldn't bear to look for another community like that, which so condemning of a person's heart, although I continued with the church. After another year I went to work in a very poor country. My home country was very prosperous. My Christian faith only lasted a year or so in the new country because the people there suffered so much want, and so much terror of various armed people, and so much early and violent death (often preceded by torture), that I couldn't believe any more in the loving God described by Christianity. My prayers all turned into "Oh Lord, how can You let all this happen?"

After 7 years I returned to my home country. For many years (decades) I was agnostic, and hoped that I could be convinced back into Christianity but I just couldn't.

Then a year and a half ago a friend at work started giving Yoga classes before work. I had no idea at all what Yoga was except that it was physical and I thought I would probably be bad at it, but I had heard that it was good for you so I thought I'd give it a try. My friend gave us an asana practice twice a week and told us we should also practice by ourselves. So I got a book to help me in my home practice -- TVK Desikachar's *The Heart of Yoga* -- and was astounded by the things I read in it. This book has relatively few things to say about asana, but plenty to say about Hindu philosophy. It ends with the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali phrase by phrase in Sanskrit, then a literal and brief English translation, and then an elaboration and explanation by TVK Desikachar, who had studied it many times with his father.

I started having many questions and going to the Internet to find out more about Hinduism. (That's how I found the Hindu Dharma Forums.) I'm far more cautious than I was when I was young and joined that lay Christian community. It seems like I look around, and take another step and then another and then another. And so I have found myself on a spiritual path, but one that is very different from the Christian path, in that it is not a path of fear, and not a path of never being good enough, and not a path of having to never acknowledge what you learn and what you know because if you think the wrong thoughts you will be condemned to an eternity of torture.

And when I first read the Bhagavad Gita I was astounded to find some of my favorite parts of the writing of C.S. Lewis had come from the Gita, not from any Christian tradition. (C.S. Lewis wrote many books to convince people that Christianity is The Truth, and that if other religions have things in them that ring true it's because they are pointing to Christianity!)

Since I never participate in Christian celebrations, my co-workers keep trying to guess what I "am". Are you Muslim? they ask me. Are you Buddhist? They have never thought to ask me if I am Hindu, and my steps along my new path have been slow. A year ago, I would have thought that I would be lying if I had said "yes". But now -- according to my own understanding at least -- I am following a Hindu path and I never want to leave it. I am very shy to call myself Hindu, though, because nothing in my background or upbringing is Hindu, and I don't want to offend those who can more rightly claim the tradition.

It took me a long time to sign up for these forums, partly because I wanted to choose a good name. I chose Caltha because that is a flower that I have always loved (Marsh Marigold -- Caltha Palustris) and when I found out that it grows in the Himalayas as well as near my house, I thought it was a good name so I chose it.

Thank you for reading my autobiography so far!

(Yajvan, I have bookmarked your post with the names of Lord Shiva and I read it often.)

charitra
06 August 2011, 11:54 PM
Namste and welcome caltha, an interesting bio.
Its a journey with an end goal of self realization.
You rightly pointed out. Sanskrit scriptures have been the worst victims of plagiarism.
Iam not sparking a new row by suggesting that both religious and non religious wo/ men alike took a slice of dharmic pie and served the same as their own home made recipe. From Ekhart Tolle to Oprah winfrey, knowingly or unknowingly many celebrities have preached the dharmic concepts, more importantly the practice goes backwards a few hundred years. According to contemporary Greek scholar Nicholas Kazanas (google him) the Mahabharata epic was more than 5,500 yrs old and Rig Veda much older than that. The title sanatana dharma is a perfect fit for the faith.
Some people now favoring the idea that Gandhi is not in hell (Rob Bell, the wildly popular founding pastor of Mars Hill Bible Church in Grandville, Mich.) is the direct result of them turning to hindu dharma for guidance.Shanti.


Namaste,

And when I first read the Bhagavad Gita I was astounded to find some of my favorite parts of the writing of C.S. Lewis had come from the Gita, not from any Christian tradition. (C.S. Lewis wrote many books to convince people that Christianity is The Truth, and that if other religions have things in them that ring true it's because they are pointing to Christianity!)

wundermonk
07 August 2011, 12:19 AM
Hi Caltha:

Welcome to HDF. It is one of the most knowledgeable and active forums dedicated to Sanatana Dharma.

Yes, Hinduism is vast and I believe it offers some of the best solutions to the problems in the world today ~ both theological and practical.

Best.

Obelisk
07 August 2011, 03:06 AM
Namaste Caltha,

Welcome aboard, nice to read about your spiritual journey. :)

sunyata07
07 August 2011, 07:14 AM
Namaste Caltha,

Welcome to HDF. Thanks for sharing with us your background and your religious history. It sounds like for much of your spiritual life you have been looking for something to make to feel really at ease with yourself. You aren't the first westerner to have developed an interest in the philosophy behind Sanatana Dharma through Yoga - I also began to seriously question the practices and the mindset behind the asanas, mudras, after I had taken up some hatha yoga classes. From there, it became more than just a passing interest. Slowly I realised how my own former faith and belief in God paled in comparison to what was being offered in the Hindu faith.

I, too, share your shyness of calling myself Hindu in front of others for lacking a Hindu upbringing and Indian background. But with patience and sincerity for wanting to educate yourself into this new life (the help of wonderful, compassionate and gentle teachers on this board also makes it a lot easier!), hopefully you will find yourself at home here. You've certainly been lurking around here for long enough! I hope you enjoy discussing your ideas with us and find this place useful for answering questions.

Om namah Shivaya

Eastern Mind
07 August 2011, 08:23 AM
Vannakkam Caltha: I hope your time here is well spent, and collectively we can offer you something. I remember for the first time seeing a marsh marigold swamp/pond right full. It was a beautiful sight.

Aum Namasivaya

Caltha
07 August 2011, 11:11 AM
Thank you so very much for the warm welcome!

I love the very words sanatana dharma!

Friend from the West
07 August 2011, 06:11 PM
Namaste Caltha,

Your autobiography is powerfully touching. Hope that you enjoy the freedom, wisdom, love, and truth found in SD. Welcome to the forum.

FFTW

c.smith
07 August 2011, 09:12 PM
Hari Om and welcome to the forums. Nice to have you on board!

Om Namah Sivaya!

Ramakrishna
09 August 2011, 01:46 AM
Namaste Caltha,

Welcome to HDF! You have an interesting background, and I am glad that you have found a home in Sanatana Dharma. It's nice that you found Hinduism through a western yoga class, as I now know of several people who have done so.


But now -- according to my own understanding at least -- I am following a Hindu path and I never want to leave it. I am very shy to call myself Hindu, though, because nothing in my background or upbringing is Hindu, and I don't want to offend those who can more rightly claim the tradition.


Don't be shy to call yourself a Hindu. If you believe in and follow Sanatana Dharma, then you are a Hindu. Stand up and be proud to be Hindu! You can also explain to people the background of the term "Hindu" and the meaning of "Sanatana Dharma". You won't offend those who "more rightly claim the tradition" (I assume you are referring to born Hindus such as myself), as long as you are sincere and devoted in your journey into Sanatana Dharma.

Jai Sri Ram

kallol
09 August 2011, 05:13 AM
Impressed with your Autobiography Caltha !!!

I am sure you will learn more now that you are not a passive member but an active one.

Wish you a very happy spiritual journey.

Love and best wishes

Caltha
09 August 2011, 09:39 PM
Don't be shy to call yourself a Hindu. If you believe in and follow Sanatana Dharma, then you are a Hindu. Stand up and be proud to be Hindu! You can also explain to people the background of the term "Hindu" and the meaning of "Sanatana Dharma". You won't offend those who "more rightly claim the tradition" (I assume you are referring to born Hindus such as myself), as long as you are sincere and devoted in your journey into Sanatana Dharma.

Jai Sri Ram

You have no idea how happy it made me to read these words! Yes, I too am Hindu!