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ScarletRose
28 August 2011, 10:28 PM
So I've been working on following the beautiful path of Sanatan Dharma, and I've wanted to attend a temple, but I'm so nervous about it. There is one where I am nearby, but I feel nervous about attending it simply because I'm a newbie, and I'm "white," so I would stand out so easily, it would just feel awkward, but I have been feeling like I should attend. I guess I could ask my Indian roommate if she can help me find someone I can go with (I can't ask her to go, she's Christian).

With the Ganesha Chaturthi coming up, and the temple here having their get together for it on the 31st, I was thinking it would be a good idea to go, but I"m so nervous about it. My fears are I'll stand out, I won't know how to dress, what to bring, what to do. I wish I wasn't so nervous about it, I want to go, but I don't know :(

Sorry about that, I'm just really nervous about it, even though I know I want to go.

Arjuni
29 August 2011, 12:22 AM
Namasté,

ScarletRose, there is no reason to apologise for being worried! It does seem scary and overwhelming, like the first day of school when you're a kid, and have no idea whether your teachers are going to educate you or eat you. (For the record, I have yet to go to the temple here, though in my case it involves factors besides fear.)

Other members have written before about things to remember for temple: wear modest clothes (covering the shoulders and legs), and if it's your first time, maybe call or e-mail the temple first to ask what you can bring, and if there's anything you should or shouldn't do.

Please understand that I'm not mocking your fear at all. I am a gigantic wuss when it comes to...you know...people, because people are big and scary and I'm still not entirely convinced they won't shoot lasers out of their eyes at me. So I really understand feeling anxious, all too well.

But sometimes, things do seem a little easier if you can laugh. So here are a few thoughts that I really hope will make you smile.

-Temples exist, in part, so that devotees have a place to go worship God. It's a sad, lonely temple that nobody visits. You wouldn't want the temple to be useless and empty, would you? It's like the last bite of cake on a plate: you have to eat it, or it'll get lonely.

-A temple is God's house, and God won't be peering into the room and exclaiming, "Goodness gracious Me, who let the Caucasian in?!"

-You won't be going alone to temple. God's there! and is with you the whole time you're going there, too. (This is why God is the best company possible for activities: always up for doing stuff, never gets sick or cancels on you, and always thinks you look fabulous. :D )

-Most people are there to worship God. Even if a few people stare, they won't walk up to you and ask, "So, uh, I couldn't help but notice that you're new, and white, and here by yourself, and...what's up with that?" The absolute worst that'll happen is that they'll pelt you with rotten tomatoes and then drive you off of the premises with chainsaws and rabid squirrels. (But we both know they won't!)

-The next time you want to go to temple, think to yourself, what am I going to do instead, if I don't go? Think about all of that scary unfilled time, looming before you without any sort of plan...Why, you might end up eating a box of doughnuts or sleeping late or joining a gang! Better go to temple and keep yourself out of trouble.

-If all else fails, double-dog-dare yourself to go. Nobody likes to refuse a double-dog-dare.

Remember, the hardest thing will be setting your foot in the door. Once you take that step, it will all be easier from there. And then you'll be in God's house, and how awesome is that??

Best wishes, and again, please don't take my jests as mockery or insult. If you smiled even once, then that's great. And if you get to go to temple, that's even better. :)

Indraneela
===
Oṁ Indrāya Namaḥ.
Oṁ Namaḥ Śivāya

Adhvagat
29 August 2011, 05:34 AM
Go to the temple before the event and ask what would be nice to bring.

Dress in clothes that are respectful to brahmacaris and other monks and priets.

And stop minding so much about skin melanin levels. :p

Then just relax and enjoy the spiritual ambience.

Eastern Mind
29 August 2011, 07:34 AM
Vannakkam SR: I'm sure you will be fine. After all, its Ganesha Chaturthi, and He'll take care of you. I hope you have an enjoyable experience and live to tell us about it. :)

For the record, if I was there, I'd host you, even though I've most likely never been to that temple either.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Aum Namasivaya

sunyata07
29 August 2011, 01:08 PM
Namaste Scarlet Rose,

I understand your nervousness, very much so. I also share your worry about not being accepted because of my skin tone or obvious lack of Indian background. It doesn't help either that I'm painfully shy in real life - the kind who wouldn't say boo to a goose. I really hope with time and help from Ganesha I can grow up a little and get over this paranoid shyness.

As for visiting the temple, I'd suggest maybe ringing the priests or temple volunteers before heading down. That way you can get an idea of how they organise their temple, worship, etc. and maybe you can ask them from the phonecall what you could bring down as offerings. Fruit is never unwelcome. Coconuts are especially appropriate for Ganesha Chaturthi (anyone know what date it falls on this year?). Agree with the others on basic guidelines: dress modestly, switch off your mobile before you enter, etc.

Best of luck on this.

Om namah Shivaya

c.smith
29 August 2011, 04:25 PM
Hari Om!

Fantastic words from those before me, but a couple to add myself.

Remember that the Temple is there for YOU, actually it is YOURS because the Gods that reside there are your Gods. Always remember that.

Remember as well that you are going for yourself and for the Gods, not anyone else. Anything that you do or bring is an offering and will be seen that way, if not by those in attendance, surely by those that truly reside there - again the Gods.

Take care of yourself, do some simple pranayama, and enjoy the blessings that Ganesha will bestow upon you. The prasadam is never bad either!

Ramakrishna
29 August 2011, 09:02 PM
Namaste ScarletRose,

Excellent advice has been given. I am also a rather shy and quiet person, but don't let that stop you from going to the temple. Devotees won't stop and just stare at you because you're white. Remember, Hindus are generally very hospitable and polite people, and it's not like they've never seen a white person before.

At my temple there are sometimes a couple of white devotees who attend and there is never anything out of the ordinary that happens. None of the other devotees stop what they're doing and stare at them, or make them feel unwelcome in anyway. Everybody just goes about their worship, either meditating, praying privately, or focusing on what the pandits are doing, depending on the time.

Of course, like others have said, you should try calling in before you go or see if the temple has a website. Some temples will even have a person available who can show you around. Not to worry if that isn't available, as it's not like the temple is a maze or something that you'll get lost in :) You will be in the constant presence of God. Best wishes and may Maha Ganapati guide you.

Jai Sri Ram