View Full Version : I want to be loved and befriended by God. Plz Help .

03 May 2012, 10:10 AM
The thing I want to ask is somewhat disturbing to me, I went through an article on wikipedia that " described me best" :( . it says "Avoidant personality disorder[1] (or anxious personality disorder)[2] is a personality disorder recognized in the Diagnostic and Statistica Manual of Mental
Disorders handbook in a person characterized by pervasive pattern of social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy, extreme sensitivity to negative evaluation, and
avoidance of social interaction. People with avoidant personality disorder
often consider themselves to be socially inept or personally unappealing and avoid social
interaction for fear of being ridiculed, humiliated, rejected, or disliked. Avoidant personality disorder is usually first noticed in
early adulthood. Childhood emotional neglect
and peer group rejection (e.g. bullying) are both associated with an increased risk for the
development of AvPD. ....." .
on a serious note I want to seek some help in diluting all my internal inhibitions and clashes that is eroding my bliss and happiness. I do some time do think of suiciding and I AM FULLY AWARE THAT ITS WRONG and I WILL NOT DO this at any cost. So I flip my mood by random thoughts, Some time I listen to BHAGWAT GITA ON RADIO, but its just like an AIR CONDITIONER. , when the power OF B.G speech fades away from my memory I AGAIN start feeling that heat in me.

I am studying and due to some problems I have hindrances in it. so I often recite "Jehi per kripa karahin jannu jaani ,kaabi urr ajir nachaavanhi baani, mohi sudhaar hi so sab bhanti jassu kripa nahin kripa aghati" before studies and it helps (once I read this in KALYAN magzine) ,

But am in a continuous mood of negativity and sadness , what mantras/puja should I recite/do so that my chakras get cleansed or I may become pleasent to my internal self and be more loving, kind and positive and be loved by God. I find a big void inside me wanting to be loved from GOD. I need GOD as I find there is no better friend than HIM, please guide me.

11 May 2012, 01:55 PM
Hari Om, Beloved

Forgive the tardy post, but you see recently i discovered a pattern within this existence which i am a Portion of. Removed myself from here for the most part with the expectation that another such as myself (a mother and Shadow of Her) would come along to fill the space. With this post still vacant i realize that it perhaps not come so quickly...which is unfortunate as i was hoping to meet another such as myself to confirm the theory.:p

I have to admit at this point i had replied to you...and had the whole thing eaten by this website...and so i said okay...message recieved...i won't post. Only to think about the fact i posted to help another post a picture...and how ridiculous it was to leave this, far graver in importance...unanswered. So i say...okay one more try. If you are reading this...then the try worked.:p

Now, Beloved Shivam.

Beloved God is always your Best Friend in the World! He is always right here inside of You...always near!

I am also just as you, very sensitive...long time ago I was also very up and down in that way you mention above. I have suffered greatly here with abuse and this really stripped the chunky ego which protects most people from friction. I get easily burned from that. But over time i have become in control of this organic machine and have become very still.

There is a true Joy which comes from that stillness...that no longer and up and down roller coaster of emotions. The Joy we are talking about is True Joy...not the joy that come when someone say we are pretty...or when we get a present.

It's Joy, ananda...Bliss...Ultimate Happiness!

That hole you are feeling can only be filled with Beloved, and He's already there...you just have to unleash Him!

Mantra, songs...prayer...all of this will do so.

We can not change the bad things which happen to us, only our reaction. It takes time, but each of us have the power to do it.

No short cuts, play out this drama till they have to drag you away from it! Trust me, the short cut just makes the next time a real nightmare.

Go to the Temple...just sit in front of Beloved and send all that Love you have inside to Him. He is always with You, always watching. Every step upon this Beloved Mother...every precious Breath...a gift from Him.

If you can not get to a Temple, just sit anywhere and do the same. Just start Loving...and it will grow and grow.

Beloved SHivam, with all my heart, i love You. From the moment i read this post i have been sending my love to you. Last weekend, right in front of Beloved Shiva i did...because You are a Beloved Portion of Him.

I come to you today, as His Beloved Hands and Heart to tell you that you are Loved, so very much dear Beloved Shivam! You never have to seek that Love, it's already yours.<3

Strive on Beloved! Just the fact you come here with such a sweet, sincere wish shows the nature of your heart.

Strive on! You are going to be just fine<3

11 May 2012, 02:26 PM
हरिः ओम्

Namaste Shivam,

I am terribly sorry I would have replied sooner, I have only just seen your post.
As ever, such beautifully wise words from NayaSurya, If I might add just a few thoughts.
I understand the feelings that you are experiencing, but rest assured that your situation is not as bad as you might now think, you are cursed/blessed with sensitivity; in a hostile world, we need to get you to change that which is causing you currently so much difficulty, into something which can be eventually, positive and beneficial both to you and to others.

Your apparent over sensitivity can become your intuition with which you can later serve.

I should like to learn a little of your world:
I presume that you know of the three guna? Do you notice your confidence changing with these ebbs and flows, or is this a constant state for you?
Please feel free to PM me if you would prefer.



ॐ नमः शिवाय
Aum Namaḥ Śivāya

11 May 2012, 02:30 PM
Hari Om!

Please do tell more about yourself as you are comfortable, either as a post of by private message. I'd be happy to correspond with you as similar issues are in my distant past. The grace of god is with you.

If I may, I'd like to share an experience with you that I had last Wednesday. Went to my usual mandir, just not on the day I prefer as I am a devotee of Lord Hanuman. Temple is Shiv Shakti Mandir and Shree Ambe Temple together. Made my usual way greeting the deities, offerings, etc and sat for extended darshan. What took me by surprise was the wave - make that tidal wave - of love and compassion - that hit me so hard I nearly fell over and it came from Maa Ambe! I peered into Her eyes and it was as if She was crying, as if She felt something inside of me that I didn't even know that was there. She healed something, some hurt, and She was offering love and compassion as well as only a Mother could. I still feel Her divine arms around me today, 2 days later. I know that She is with me! Now that I see your post, it's clear that She's healed a great hurt from the past. So, I must thank you as well and encourage you to seek Her out, ask for Her blessings. It is said that She is very generous to Her devotees.

Trust the God and the gods one and all. They will give you the courage to trust yourself and the power to get you through. Pray that you may grow in love and devotion. It's always helped me. Seek out satsang.

All the best to you friend.

Jai Jai Hanuman!

11 May 2012, 02:31 PM
Hello !

Don't be afraid, you are already loved. All you need is to realize that.

I'm not saying that it's easy. I'va had a very difficult period in my life, like you, I had those kinds of problems. I even tried to kill myself. And I am not saying this to get attention, it's true, and it's sad. I was continuously in this state of sadness and despair, and I couldn't seek the help of my parents to help me.
So I was blind to Lord Shiva, alone and in this kind of living hell.

Realizing the love and seeking the Lord is very difficult in this state of mind. You really should seek the help of your friends, and not abuse on medecines. What saved me was the love of a total stranger. A young girl that had problems too. She came to me and gave me all her love, convinced me to still alive. Thanks to her love I learned to live again, and it was like a nw beginning. The most surprising fact is that she had worst problems than me, and tried to kill herself, ending up in psychatric hospitals several times.

You need to know you are not the only one, and you need to feel that you exist, that you are loved by people around you, even strangers. God is in them. God manifest through them. It's the pure compassion and love of that total stranger that saved my life. Now I see the work of Lord Shiva in her. You are loved, you are the friend of God, you can choose to feel it through every word, every sound, every feeling in your day. You can. Just don't close your eyes, seek the presence of your friends, you can do it.

I know how difficult it can be. When I was young, I had similar problems. I had no friend, and I was afraid to make friends with others. But a child cannot exist without attention, so I was fighting, destroying things in school, it was very destructive. All my life I received love and blessings from my parents, but I never had support. Even today, I'm exeperiencing very important health problem. Recently I came to my mother, crying because I was afraid, because I vomited blood and green liquid. She mocked me and replied "stop this comedy, you're not gonna die. And stop crying, you are stupid"
It hurt to have no support. Having those kind of words in your ears makes you instable and constantly afraid to seek help.

I understand how you feel. But are you what you read ? Hearing and reading those kinds of things, you end up believing in it. You end up becoming it. Do you want to be like this ? No. It makes you unable to seek the love and the support you need, thus it makes you unable to feel the simpliest form of the love that the Divine brings to you.

You are not useless, you are not weird, you are not an idiot, you are not sick. And whoever you are, wherever you are, whatever your polical views or your beliefs, whatever you hate me or love me, I don't care. Just hear this: I sincerely love you. I do not reject you, I do not judge you. I just have the sincere through to see you better, the deep hope for you to live again and to open your eyes to the love of the Divine.

If you need any help, it's not with a sad mind that you will be able to meditate. You will find here help here, without any doubt. You can ask help, you can talk if you need to peace your mind. Just believe me, you are already loved. And you can face this. But you can't alone, and there are people here to help you.


12 May 2012, 12:58 AM
Namaste Shivam,

Some very good posts have come up ! I would like to add a few points :

a) God likes that you behave like His son and ask anything as a matter of right. However, don't ask anything which is not legitimate.
b) Don't beg. Don't behave like a slave. No father likes his son to beg or to act like a slave. A Father wants to be proud of his son. Even if you have weaknesses but you are His son ... the son of God and so you are special.
c) If want to communicate to Him :

i) Sit comfortably in meditative position in erect position
ii) Leave aside all worldly desires and thoughts -- God wants that you must want Him alone and nothing else. Never be afraid ... God's son can't have any fear. God will take care.
iii) Focus between your eyebrows without undue pressure
iv) Pray in any manner and in any language you like ... as if you are preparing to talk to your very own father
v) Transmit message to God --- "I Love you Father. I and you are One. Please talk to me." Visualise yourself as infinite blissful Consciousness.
vi) Keep doing it until you start experiencing peace all over ... that is a sign that you in touch with God.
viii) Tell Him what you want
ix) Enjoy the peaceful and blissful experience as long as you want or as long as it lasts


14 May 2012, 01:27 PM
Thanks everyone for replying. I wish that I could have replyed in more detail to thanks everyone for making me feel the presence of Him in me but due to exams I have less time to spend elsewhere here . But again I have some much pressing family problems that I wish I could have discussed but as this forum is for hinduism and not for personal problems I would abate from opening a thread as I fear that might spoil the forum and its sanctity as it would be not about God but my family problems.

19 May 2012, 02:54 PM
I am glad to see your post.<3

Many folks come here with their problem and how to approach it in a Dharmic way. So please post if you need advice.

Sometimes family problems can really hamper and impede our spiritual growth, and then sometimes that friction bring about much needed change within us.

Hari Om Beloved, Everything<3