From Gnostic to Darkness (what I've been up to)

I've been on a spiritual religious journey for the past few months and found that I liked the Gnostic traditions where we see all religions as one because it all speaks of the occult wisdom which is a tree of life to those who attain it.

So the main religious theme was based on christianity with the 4 gosples as well as the Gnostic scriptures and I really injoyed putting all the puzzles together and interpreting the scriptures in a mystic way. 
Then it all shattered into pieces leaving me into darkness and comfusion... 

I was looking for a good translation of the gosples to get better sayings cause I didn't like the comfusing old English "ye shall" "thy come" etc and I came across the NET (new English translations) and I was on my fav verse of Proverbs where it's pose to talk about the divine mother called "Wisdom" who enters ones heart and gives hidden knowledge etc and the hole text was totally changed and it lost it's meaning from the old translations and the bad part is the Gnostics use the old translations to uncover the secret wisdom of the bible.
But then again they do know that the bible is continuesly being edited and re-written. So I researched more into this NET book and found it's accurate for our modern age. So I looked at john 3 where Jesus says "you gotta be born again" and turns out he says something like "you gotta be born above if you want to enter the kingdom of heaven" then he tells the guy that no man has ever been born above accept Jesus.

In the gnostic view of the old translation of the bible was that we give birth to atman to be born again. Meaning that not only does our sexual energys can give birth to the flesh, but can also give birth to the spirit (the Self).

So that has destroyed my belief and the concepts I cultavated myself and I went back into little depression because I really thought I found my nice little home where all I needed was to awaken my consciousness and gain spiritual wisdom from the divine mother.

What i have learned from that lession is that the bible is very unreliable and it's sad that so many christains who died and belived in there old translations are deceived by old translaters who couldn't even get the words right. Even people today ither christains or spiritual seekers looking for deeper meanings in the scriptures like myself are deceived by this book.

I watched a lecture by Professor Bart D. Ehrman and the things he said just proves that the bible is so badly written I have nothing to stand on anymore. Sure I have Easten scriptures and I treat them the same as other scriptures I've read. But the bible was my main theme cause I thought I new the concepts and I could understand the Easten scriptures better that way which is why I choose the gnostic tradition but now it feels empty and I know nothing anymore. The Good news  is my pride has broken lol cause I was full of scriptures and concepts and haven inmaginary arguments in my head (Mara/ego was eating my knowledge) and was haven debates in my mind with religious people. I'm much more in the present moment now but I'm still lost cause I don't know where I stand anymore. So yea ^^ that's my story lol

Take care =]                      

Mind if I switch that idea around on you for a moment?

I will suggest you were in the darkest of places. Ignorance.

Now, you have begun to rise...and you can see it for what it is.

So, you have made some very goodly progress...have courage...keep going!:p

I would say the title to your post should really be something like...

From Darkness...to Light<3

Hi naya ^^

Ignorance is indeed Darkness
Self knowledge Is liberation which I don't have D=
I know the only way to get it is through meditation and pranayama but I have this habbit to find motivation through scriptures and other resources such as Gnostics who had a better understanding of the bible but as we can see... The book keeps changing which messes the concepts and beliefs of ones mind.

I will continue to be in darkness till I reach Self knowledge and enter the light. Which reminds me of the Buddha before he reached enlightenment =p       

I'm back! 
I started to study Islam and I got hooked on the teachings and joined a forum there. I read the hole Quran and I really like it and the spiritual side of it. I also learned what it truly means to be loyal to the commandments of God plus the wudu (washing before praying) is very spiritual.

But the downside was I started to get stressy alot on the Christans and there out of context lies and there's me joining in the debates on the scriptures on both bible and the Quran and it's just takes me away from God. 

I only studied it to learn and take notes on the spiritual side of things. but as I learned more my ego grew and I was becomming obsessed. I like Islam because they worship the unseen which I do believe God can not be seen and Krishna loves it when we worship him with no image. So yea, I've learned some new things and Islam was a good exspiance (spelling) ^^

Namaste

As someone who has also explored the Gnostic tradition, may I ask what you have explored in Hindu Dharma?