Combating False Thinking

[Jodhaa]

Namaste!

I find mediation is extremely useful for discovering one's own neurosis. You learn all sorts of interesting things about how you think when you give yourself the chance to really be alone with yourself.

Let's say you've discovered that you have a negative thinking pattern - something that has become habitual over the years. Let's go a step further and say, you even have enough insight into your own mind and life history to connect the dots and pinpoint how that negative thinking pattern developed in the first place.

How do you start the process of healing that negativity, and developing a new way of thinking? I'm interested in hearing how other members have handled this sort of situation.

Thank you for reading!

Peace!

[Viraja]

Namaste,

This implies that we first admit what our phobia has been here in this forum! Doesn't sound very comfortable!

[Jodhaa]

Namaste,

This implies that we first admit what our phobia has been here in this forum! Doesn't sound very comfortable!

Ah, fair enough, Aspirant. Shall I go first?

The false train of thought I am referring to in myself is this.

It may come as surprise considering some of the topics I've started, but I'm actually a pretty even tempered and argument-averse person (Stay with me!). As a child I was the classic peace maker. I always stood on neutral ground, and rarely stated my opinion on anything. As a child, this works. In fact, people grow to admire you for it. But as you get older, people expect you to have an opinion on things, and to state that opinion. The time arrives to choose sides, effectively.

For the neutral peace-maker, always avoiding conflict, this is a nightmare. Now the risk of alienating others...of (gasp) not being liked, is very real. So after years of not expressing one's opinion, the ability to do so is well...stunted. So the neutral peace-maker develops an unhealthy habit - she overcompensates by becoming overly passionate -even aggressive, as she states her opinion, based on the false assumption that she must "make a stand" in order for her opinion to be believed or taken seriously. The internal, unconscious monologue goes something like this, "To argue is to be angry! This is how one feels and acts in order to disagree!"

All those years of playing the mediator, she observed how to avoid an argument, and neglected learning how to maturely have an argument.

It's all fine and good to have realized this. But a lifetime of bad thinking seems like quite the hurdle to overcome. Meditation can certainly quell the anger and bring great peace. But I have been unable to use it as a means to find a solution.


Okay, Aspirant, the couch is free The good news is, forum based counseling is free, and there's no time limit.

[Jodhaa]

Also, just to clarify, I don't think it would be necessary for anyone to spill their guts about something private or personal. You can simply speak about the mental or systematic steps you took to overcome a bad habit of false thinking.


There's no money in blackmail anyway

[Viraja]

Jodhaa,

I appreciate your reply. My problem is that I was born on the great number 31's influence - you can read any book on numerology, it states number 31 to be the most 'mind-centric' number. I am classically prone to phobias - you name it I have it! Sounds scary? But at the least bothersome, I have fear of heights (I hate flying), water(don't know to swim). Besides I am temperamental, have mood-swings, am a little quick-tempered.

The only thing is that I don't meditate, and as yet have to figure out a solution to my problems!!

But, on the positive side, I pray to god everyday and whether or not it is of substantial duration, there is something about the mantras - their own divine power and inherent healing qualities that helps me very much.

I think you have been actually blessed to have been a neutral-peacemaker and that is a foremost virtue to have. I understand what you say but I have observed those having this virtue, they eventually have their opinions heard well.

Goodluck to you!

[Jodhaa]

Jodhaa,

I appreciate your reply. My problem is that I was born on the great number 31's influence - you can read any book on numerology, it states number 31 to be the most 'mind-centric' number. I am classically prone to phobias - you name it I have it! Sounds scary? But at the least bothersome, I have fear of heights (I hate flying), water(don't know to swim). Besides I am temperamental, have mood-swings, am a little quick-tempered.

The only thing is that I don't meditate, and as yet have to figure out a solution to my problems!!

But, on the positive side, I pray to god everyday and whether or not it is of substantial duration, there is something about the mantras - their own divine power and inherent healing qualities that helps me very much.

I think you have been actually blessed to have been a neutral-peacemaker and that is a foremost virtue to have. I understand what you say but I have observed those having this virtue, they eventually have their opinions heard well.

Goodluck to you!

Thank you for your reply, Aspirant!

I know next to nothing about numerology, so I can't comment on it much. But I am happy that you pray everyday. It is good to have a connection with the divine. I didn't have one for so many years - I was jealous of those who did.

I have a fear of deep water/drowning, but it is not a situation I encounter much in the Middle of the US, so I don't need to suffer from it much.

Perhaps, it is a matter of practice, or exposure. Being a peacemaker does have spiritual benefits, but I have found it becomes very easy to bury emotions, which is not the same as mastering them. Thank you for your encouragement!

Peace

[JaiMaaDurga]

Namaste,

I am certainly no great fount of wisdom, but perhaps
sharing some of what was given to me in regards to this
may prove beneficial:
-Becoming, and remaining, unattached to the fruits of one's actions;
This falls under the "Simple does not mean easy" category,
yet has proven essential in my practice. Consider the ancient
method of starting a fire using a hand-drill; those minds that
are inexperienced, impatient, and focused on the result of fire
will be stopping and checking, thereby thwarting themselves,
whereas success is had by those who simply focus on maintaining
the proper speed and pressure.. "See only the eye of the bird"..

Consider also a kitten- does that kitten, in the midst of stalking
a beetle, or pouncing on your foot, think to itself "I am honing and
practicing the skills and reflexes needed for a cat to survive in the wild"?
Of course not- the kitten is simply being itself, playing.

The modern adult human is constantly beset from within by contrast,
sometimes paralyzed by endless mental clamor, the echoes
and multiplying mirrors of subject/object awareness, the mind like
an ant following its own scent trail endlessly in a circle..

No matter how thoroughly or how long one examines an acorn, the
tree remains unknown while the acorn remains above the ground...

JAI MATA DI

[Jodhaa]

Namaste,

I am certainly no great fount of wisdom, but perhaps
sharing some of what was given to me in regards to this
may prove beneficial:
-Becoming, and remaining, unattached to the fruits of one's actions;
This falls under the "Simple does not mean easy" category,
yet has proven essential in my practice. Consider the ancient
method of starting a fire using a hand-drill; those minds that
are inexperienced, impatient, and focused on the result of fire
will be stopping and checking, thereby thwarting themselves,
whereas success is had by those who simply focus on maintaining
the proper speed and pressure.. "See only the eye of the bird"..

Consider also a kitten- does that kitten, in the midst of stalking
a beetle, or pouncing on your foot, think to itself "I am honing and
practicing the skills and reflexes needed for a cat to survive in the wild"?
Of course not- the kitten is simply being itself, playing.

The modern adult human is constantly beset from within by contrast,
sometimes paralyzed by endless mental clamor, the echoes
and multiplying mirrors of subject/object awareness, the mind like
an ant following its own scent trail endlessly in a circle..

No matter how thoroughly or how long one examines an acorn, the
tree remains unknown while the acorn remains above the ground...

JAI MATA DI

Namaste, Jai Mata Durga,

Thank you for your response.

I will shamefully admit that I am a little confused by your response. My ability to grasp at abstracts is sometimes limited. Are you suggesting that, perhaps I am "thinking too hard" about this apparent flaw I have discovered in myself? That I should let the habit of meditation and gradual self awareness heal the faulty thinking in its own time? That things will "work themselves out" as long as I remain on a consistent spiritual path?

Forgive my ignorance! I appreciate your words. I will keep thinking them over and perhaps it will come to me.

Peace!

[silence_speaks]

Dear Jodhaa,

Its very nice that you sit down with yourself and have recognized the pattern of negative thinking or even positive thinking. Thats in itself an achievement.

I would suggest :
http://www.hindudharmaforums.com/showthread.php?t=9667
Please go through it and see if it is useful for you

[Jodhaa]

Dear Jodhaa,

Its very nice that you sit down with yourself and have recognized the pattern of negative thinking or even positive thinking. Thats in itself an achievement.

I would suggest :
http://www.hindudharmaforums.com/showthread.php?t=9667
Please go through it and see if it is useful for you

Namaste, Silence Speaks,

Thank you for the link! I will have a look at it later once I get a better opportunity!

Peace!