Combating False Thinking

[Etheros]

I can relate completely to your experience, Jodhaa. I have a very similar personality. I have personally had no luck with combating my thoughts and tendencies, and I have read from many sources that it is actually not recommended, because it could lead to an even more neurotic state of mind. If you are in combat with your thoughts, who's the attacker and who's the defender? This attitude can only create a further split within yourself. I found it best to accept yourself the way you are first. Everyone has shortcomings, don't beat yourself up over it. I think that the fact that you've become aware of this tendency and turned your attention to it will be enough to get yourself over it. Psychological changes aren't brought about in a day, it's unlikely that you can find a magic pill that will have you wake up tomorrow ready to express all your opinions while remaining in a state of serene detachment. I haven't found one personally and haven't heard of anyone who has. But who knows. The way I understand growth is that it's a gradual process, a child can't force himself to become an adult, it just happens with time and experience. If you feel your meditation practice is leading you in the right direction, then you already know what to do.

[Jodhaa]

I found it best to accept yourself the way you are first. Everyone has shortcomings, don't beat yourself up over it. I think that the fact that you've become aware of this tendency and turned your attention to it will be enough to get yourself over it. The way I understand growth is that it's a gradual process, a child can't force himself to become an adult, it just happens with time and experience. If you feel your meditation practice is leading you in the right direction, then you already know what to do.

Namaste Etheros!

Thank you for your encouraging response. Being a casual student of Psychology myself, I make the mistake of thinking that my own mind should be the easiest to interpret and "fix". You are probably right that the best thing I can do for my own mind is just to be aware of my shortcomings and not to beat myself up about it. It is difficult to let go of the reigns when you recognize a need to grow, but the growth comes slower then you would like.

Your analogy of the growth of a child into an adult reminded me of something as well. At around the age of 11 I went through literal "growing pains". For several months I could not sit without pain. It was discovered that my limbs were growing faster then my spine so that whenever I sat I was stretching my back too much. Eventually the rest of me caught up and I was fine.

Perhaps my ego is trying to grow faster then my intuition and spiritual understanding will allow ;-) Meditation is the hot compress, perhaps

Thank you again!
Peace!

[Eastern Mind]

Vannakkam Jodhaa: As someone else said, congratulations in discovering something about your own mind. This means you are able, at least in some small way, to separate yourself from your mind.

My teacher talked a lot about the mind, and for understanding purposes, separated it into 5 distinct areas. The first two are conscious and subconscious. What you have recognised is an area of the subconscious (memory mind, habits, a sum total of all the impressions of the conscious mind) that you find annoying, or at least something you feel you could do better without, no? The area of the mind you used to do this, he would call the superconscious, or intuitive mind, the one that best understands how to progress on the path to moksha.

He likened it, the subconscious, to a computer, and often used the phrase, 'reprogramming the subconscious mind'. In other words, what you have to do is put into it what you want it to be. This will gradually replace what is already there, and 'locked in' as it may seem. So you start by small things. Find a friend you can have a friendly discussion with, do make-believe, convince yourself that you can and will go outside of that 'comfort zone' you've established so well. Take time; there is no hurry. But eventually you'll be able to go argue or discuss with the best of them.

Best wishes on it.

Aum Namasivaya

[Jodhaa]

Thank you EM, for your contribution!

I spoke with my husband on a recent night out about some of the questions I had on Hinduism and some of the strong opinions I had developed about certain things. (He's Catholic, so I wasn't looking for answers but instead I asked him to be my sounding board ). One thing I know about myself is that sometimes the answer has always been there, inside me, and that I need to "talk it out" - really hear myself say something in order to know if it feels right or wrong.

What we discovered is that when one only debates an issue inside one's own mind, it is easy rationalize to your ego's benefit. There is no objective "other" to give you a fresh perspective. Then, once a real person with an opposite opinion does exist, it's easy to angrily argue a point that really hasn't been thought through. Your only consultant has been another part of you.

I think also - and this is echoing advice you yourself gave in another thread - one needs to step back and cool down before replying to someone, especially if the topic is sensitive. Clearly, if my emotional reaction is so strong, there's something there that needs to be explored, but perhaps better once one has had time to organize one's thoughts.

Thank you everyone for your thoughts. I think it's interesting to hear form others on their experiences.

Peace!