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Thread: Accepting Murties as gifts

  1. #1

    Accepting Murties as gifts

    I've read somewhere, perhaps within these threads, that you shouldn't accept murties as gifts. I have a friend who wants me to take one from her, but I told her this and couldn't give a reason as to why. Could someone inform me of the reason so I can give an honest answer and to hopefully get her to understand? I don't really feel comfortable accepting a murtie as a gift anyway, but am not sure as to how to refuse a gift without seeming rude or unappreciative of the thought. It seems that if you were to choose your own murties, you would have a closeness with that murtie, therefore your connection to God would be stronger. That's just my opinion, though. Thanks to all who can help.

    Leena

  2. #2

    Re: Accepting Murties as gifts

    Pranams,

    I don't know of any specific regulations against accepting archa-murthis, aside from the general principle that such murtis should be treated with great respect by people who are clean, which one would think would apply to both the giver and the receiver. I've seen statements in the puraanas praising the giving of cows, of scriptures, and of icons of cows. I've not seen anything specifically praising the giving of archa-murthis or restricting it.

    A dear friend once presented me with a small Bala-Gopala deity on my wedding whom I still worship to this day, and my mother-in-law also presented me with a Radha-Krishna vigraha. My only hangup about getting these archa-vigrahas in this way is the means by which they have to be transported, especially when flying, as you would NOT want these TSA goons to touch or handle them.

    There is one other hangup I have in regards to accepting archa-murtis, and that is that the devotion of the giver may not always reflect the devotion of the receiver. I sometimes get the feeling that some givers give murthis as a way of making you worship in the way they want you to worship. I can gracefully accept murthis of Shiva or Ganesha, since at least these are Vedic deities, but I simply cannot accept a deity of a Sai Baba or someone else's guru, and I think that sort of gift-giving is particularly obnoxious.
    Philosoraptor

    "Wise men speak because they have something to say. Fools speak because they have to say something." - Plato

  3. #3

    Re: Accepting Murties as gifts

    Namaste philosoraptor,
    Thanks for your response. You have given me comfort in being able to accept it. I know I wouldn't be able to refuse it. It's my first murti and I hope to care for it properly. I wish you all the best.

    Leena

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    Re: Accepting Murties as gifts

    I love accepting Murthis as gifts - because if it is an artwork that can be showcased - just how many can we display? But if it is a murthi, it can make way into the Navaratri Kolu (which does not have the Shaiva or Vaishnava boundaries!). But I agree to what Philosoraptor has said - it is annoying to receive as gifts murthis that are solely presented with the idea that the giver wants by what he/she gives, for you to follow his/her beliefs and/or worship.

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    Re: Accepting Murties as gifts

    Quote Originally Posted by Aspirant01 View Post
    I love accepting Murthis as gifts - because if it is an artwork that can be showcased - just how many can we display? But if it is a murthi, it can make way into the Navaratri Kolu (which does not have the Shaiva or Vaishnava boundaries!). But I agree to what Philosoraptor has said - it is annoying to receive as gifts murthis that are solely presented with the idea that the giver wants by what he/she gives, for you to follow his/her beliefs and/or worship.
    Namaste!

    I was once taught that once you give a gift to someone, you give up control of what they do with it. That is, give without expecting that they will keep it or treasure it forever. I think this fits in well with Hindu ideals of working without expecting the fruits of that work. As for receiving gifts - I think it's still possible to graciously receive gifts even of you don't plan on keeping them for personal reasons. Even if you think the gift giver has alterior motives. It is annoying to recieve such gifts, but then again one doesn't have to feel bad about not keeping those sorts of gifts. Whereas, a gift that doesn't suit you from a well-meaning giver is a little harder to part with.

    I was once given a cross necklace. Very lovely. But I could not, in good conscience wear it. It is a symbol that is very meaningful to many people, and I think it is disrespectful to wear a symbol that one doesn't believe in, just for the sake of appearances. My solution? I accepted it, thanked the person, and then found another Christian friend outside the gift-giver's circle and gave it to her. Now the gift can be appreciated for what it is, rather then sitting in my jewelry box. The gift giver has never asked about the necklace. Now, if a gift giver does notice the absence of a gift, I don't think there's anything wrong with explaining what you did. As long as you say you "re-gifted" out of respect, most people will understand (They will be hurt a little at first of course).

    Peace!

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    Re: Accepting Murties as gifts

    Quote Originally Posted by Jodhaa View Post
    Now, if a gift giver does notice the absence of a gift, I don't think there's anything wrong with explaining what you did. As long as you say you "re-gifted" out of respect, most people will understand (They will be hurt a little at first of course).
    Absolutely, Jodhaa! Many people (including myself) do feel hurt if we can't keep the gifts they give. This happens within my family a whole lot - my husband doesn't like the teenager-like T-shirts I choose for him (he is young looking) and always exchanges them for a different shirt and this itself annoys me. When it comes to gifting for others, the choice is even harder, so I think that is why most people will end up with idols of gods - you can't go too wrong with it because people can easily give it to someone else if they don't want to keep it.

  7. #7

    Re: Accepting Murties as gifts

    Pranams,

    I don't think it is appropriate to "showcase" archa-murthis as one would do with artwork. In particular, Sri Vaishnavas and Gaudiya Vaishnavas both see the archa-murthi as a type of avatAr and treat the Lord in that form with great respect. I think the culture of showing respect to the iconic form is there across much of traditional Hinduism regardless of sampradaya affiliation.

    Having said that, it has become fashionable of late for people to display icons of deities made of non-approved materials, like plaster of paris, etc. Sometimes people gift these icons, and what to do for example when you already have three others? I actually have two Bala-Gopala deities and was told by my devotee friend, a Vraja-vasi by heart, that he thought it ok for me to keep one aside and worship the other. I always thought I might present the second one as a "gift" to some worthy soul. But then, who am I to judge worth? :-)
    Philosoraptor

    "Wise men speak because they have something to say. Fools speak because they have to say something." - Plato

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    Re: Accepting Murties as gifts

    Quote Originally Posted by philosoraptor View Post
    Pranams,

    I don't think it is appropriate to "showcase" archa-murthis as one would do with artwork. In particular, Sri Vaishnavas and Gaudiya Vaishnavas both see the archa-murthi as a type of avatAr and treat the Lord in that form with great respect. I think the culture of showing respect to the iconic form is there across much of traditional Hinduism regardless of sampradaya affiliation.
    Well, what I meant earlier was that it is better to accept murties than some random artwork because moorthies could be used in Navaratri kolu. (Besides artworks that we want to display at our homes most preferably are something we personally choose..) Although I do not have metallic icons of murthies that I keep in our kolu, I don't see why not. Afterall, we do "karpoor-arathi", sing bhajans/devotional music routinely for all 9 days in front of it, and offer Naivedyam - treated with same respect as that given to that idol if it were to be in the puja.

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    Re: Accepting Murties as gifts

    Vannakkam: Twice now I have gifted murthis. One was for a temple, and the other was to an individual. Both times it was 'with permission' of the receiver. I think it is quite wrong to gift a murthi to someone who may not want it, and I'd never do it. If someone offered me one, I'm not sure what I'd do. It would depend on the situatio. A picture I view differently. I have a beautiful BalaMurugan picture that was gifted right above this computer desk. Its a nice reminder.

    Aum Namasivaya

  10. #10

    Re: Accepting Murties as gifts

    Thanks everyone for your thoughts. I must have misread the article that I found it in, or the article provided false information. You've all been helpful. Take care.

    Leena

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