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Thread: Guest Etiquette

  1. #11
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    Re: Guest Etiquette

    Vanakkam,

    Quote Originally Posted by ShivaFan View Post
    N

    Here are some pictures of Bengali sweet genre of interest:
    OKAY THATS IT.
    Because of you now I want to make ChamCham D:

    For Navratri I'll invite my friends and make MANY MANY CHAMCHAM.

    I LOVE CHAM CHAM.

    Ahem. Let me go back and catch my brain, he just ran away to make some

    ....

    Here, done.


    Well, like Shivafan suggested, why not indian sweets ? You can make them yourself, some are not difficult at all (you just have to catch the good thing if you want to make paneer <__<)

    But one of your doll too can be a very personnal and funny gift !


    You are so blessed Jodhaa ! Keep us aware about your present !


    Aum Namah Shivaya
    Last edited by McKitty; 16 September 2012 at 11:53 AM.
    ~Aum Namah Shivaya~

  2. #12
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    Re: Guest Etiquette

    Quote Originally Posted by ShivaFan View Post
    Namastee Jodhaa

    Whatever you do, don't invite Satay to any ladies party or lady gift sharing. He will spoil the mode.
    Quote Originally Posted by ShivaFan View Post


    Firstly, for the first time in my life I am shocked, because anyone knows you cannot simply put just any pound of burfi next to Bengali sweets. This is not only denying the fact that Bengali's make the best sweets, it is stepping into dangerous "I wish I could cook sweets like Bengalis so I hate them" territory.



    Om Namah Sivaya


    Hahaha!

    It appears I have unleashed another controversial topic. I'll never attain moksha at this rate.

    Thank you for the ideas everyone! It is very interesting to read everyone's opinions. While I love the idea of giving one of my dolls, the woman and I are not very well acquainted and I feel as though that is a more intimate gift. I will gladly keep it in mind for the future once I get to know her more. I did consider making her a simple painting of a flower - that would be personal and allow me to show my appreciation. But I also like the idea of making sweets. For Janmastami this year I made little "AUM" boxes that contained sweets for a few people at the Temple. But this woman was not there that night for me to give her one - so I still have one left! (The sweets are long gone of course). Perhaps I will make sweets and bring flowers, but I have more time to give it some thought.

    She has no young children anymore - the saris she is offering me are those that used to belong to her grown daughters. This is a little bit of a shame, because I do love spoiling small children with surprises.

    I will let everyone know how it goes! in the meantime if anyone has any other ideas I'm all ears!

    Thank you!

    Peace!
    "God will not have his work made manifest by cowards."
    ~Ralph Waldo Emerson


  3. #13
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    Re: Guest Etiquette

    Quote Originally Posted by Jodhaa View Post


    in the meantime if anyone has any other ideas I'm all ears!

    Thank you!

    Peace!
    Why don't you trade-off her old Sari for one of your old gowns!!
    jai hanuman gyan gun sagar jai kapis tihu lok ujagar

  4. #14
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    Re: Guest Etiquette

    Quote Originally Posted by Aspirant01 View Post
    Why don't you trade-off her old Sari for one of your old gowns!!

    I do have own one lovely sari that was gifted to me by my sister before my wedding. (she knew of my interest in Hinduism and Indian Culture) However, it was purchased at a yard sale and the blouse is far too large. So I promised to bring it with me to trade. If she doesn't know anyone who can use it, I will donate it to the Temple so they can sell it at the annual Temple Festival at the end of the month. It is silly for it to sit in my closet un-loved.
    "God will not have his work made manifest by cowards."
    ~Ralph Waldo Emerson


  5. #15

    Re: Guest Etiquette

    Deleted...
    Last edited by ShriBala; 11 December 2012 at 06:51 AM.

  6. #16
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    Re: Guest Etiquette

    Namaste Everyone!

    First thank you all for the suggestions again! I just wanted to give you an update on my visit.

    I ended up making her Besan Laddus and putting them in a decorative box with the "AUM" symbol on it. I also brought her a small rose plant. She was very excited about both and was very interested in knowing if the rose would live outside. I told her I honestly wasn't sure but that my experience as that Roses tended to be very hardy. I hope it makes it through a dry, Midwest winter (I just moved here from the East Coast at the end of Feb so I have no idea how it gets out here.)

    We talked for hours and I learned all about her life and where she came from (Tamil Nadu). I saw her beautiful home shrine. I was fascinated by all the miniature deities and coins. She also had a larger statue of Subrahmanya (Murugan) and explained that he is their family deity.

    God was everywhere! I don't know if this is common in all Hindu homes, but there as not a single room without a picture of a deity or guru. There were also wall plagues and small statues. I found myself feeling very nosy because I kept looking up at the walls. She made lunch and showed me how to make Poori! At some point she asked me if I was veg, to which I had to shamefully confess "no". She didn't seem too offended, I think she was just curious because she then asked what kinds of foods I liked to cook at home.

    But then she through me for a loop with this question, "So, do you have a shrine at home?" I said yes. The reason this question surprised me was that I really had been quite private about my own journey in starting to become Hindu and most people at the temple gave me the impression they thought I was Christian (which is fine. It doesn't bother me)

    Anyway, she suddenly became quite excited and went digging in the drawers under her shrine. She proceeded to give me a small pot of Kumkum along with a packet saying "This is kumkum from a very famous temple in south India." I will have to ask her the name again because it was too long for me to remember. She then gave me a small ghee lamp because I have no lamp yet. I was blown away by her generosity! I told her if there was ever anything she needed she had my number and should call me. She said what she needed most was a daughter. (Her daughters live far away and are always busy with work. All the Salwar Kameezes she gave me once belonged to her daughters.)

    But her generosity didn't even stop there. The sari I brought with me that was too large - she offered to tailor it for me! I told her I was going to donate it but she shook her head and smiled. "This is a very good sari. If you tried to buy this new it would be $100 at least. Keep it. It's north Indian. I can tell by the skirt. North Indian girls are very particular about their skirts!"

    The best I could do to repay her was to help her clean the kitchen after lunch. But I told her she will have to visit with her husband some time. She is so sweet. I think she was happy that her daughters' old clothes could be used. I actually left wearing one of the outfits! (I was on my way to Chicago to see the Sri Rama Temple but I'll save that story for the "Temples" thread)

    Sorry about how long this is! I didn't realize there was so much to relate! It was a good time and I learned a lot. And now I will actually look like I belong at the temple


    Peace!
    "God will not have his work made manifest by cowards."
    ~Ralph Waldo Emerson


  7. #17
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    Re: Guest Etiquette

    Vanakkam,

    This is amazing Jodhaa ! Congratulations !

    You are very blessed ! And don't be bothered by her generosity, when I went to Tamil Nadu and became friend with a woman (my "indian mother" I like to call her now xD) I had the same sense of warming welcome and generosity. She invited my family in her home, and made ton of fish to eat ! It really was a funny night we had together!
    South indians really have a wide open heart, you made a really really great friend !

    Aum Namah Shivaya
    ~Aum Namah Shivaya~

  8. #18
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    Re: Guest Etiquette

    Vannakkam Jodhaa: Very nice narration, and it sounds like you have found a friend/mentor. In my experience, this has been the norm when visiting a Hindu home: hospitality to the amazing level.
    As for the roses, I'll add some info just because I have dealt with them, they come in a wide range of cold-tolerance. Some need the break of a cold winter, and some don't. So it will be on the variety. Here in Edmonton there are several varieties of hardy roses that do well. Larger tea roses are iffy, but one thing you can do is cover them in fall. By cover, I mean insulate the base of the main stem with a lot of leaves, peat moss, or something like that. Even snow itself will act as an insulator. That will enhance there chances of surviving the winter.

    So glad you had a wonderful experience.

    Aum Namasivaya

  9. #19
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    Re: Guest Etiquette

    Quote Originally Posted by McKitty View Post
    Vanakkam,

    This is amazing Jodhaa ! Congratulations !

    You are very blessed ! And don't be bothered by her generosity, when I went to Tamil Nadu and became friend with a woman (my "indian mother" I like to call her now xD) I had the same sense of warming welcome and generosity. She invited my family in her home, and made ton of fish to eat ! It really was a funny night we had together!
    South indians really have a wide open heart, you made a really really great friend !

    Aum Namah Shivaya

    I feel very blessed. I don't know what I have done to be so fortunate but I try to remember to be thankful everyday.

    I think she will become my Indian mother When I was asking her what I could do for her in the kitchen she said, "Well, could you clean the table?" I said "Sure!" and then she said "You don't mind if I ask you to do that?" I said "Of course not! I was raised by parents that taught me to always offer to help the hostess when you are a guest." She paused and then said, "You are like my daughter."

    Peace!
    "God will not have his work made manifest by cowards."
    ~Ralph Waldo Emerson


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