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Thread: Guest Etiquette

  1. #1
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    Guest Etiquette

    Namaste!

    Today a woman at my local temple invited me to her home next week for lunch as well as to offer me some old sari's that once belonged to her daughters. (I suppose she saw me in my western clothes every week and took pity on me
    ) This is incredibly generous of her and I want to come to her home with a gift to say thank you, but I'm not sure what is appropriate. When I am a guest at another westerner's home I tend to bring a bottle of wine, but I don't think that's okay in this scenario. Can anyone offer some ideas?

    Thank you!
    Last edited by Jodhaa; 15 September 2012 at 02:18 PM. Reason: font
    "God will not have his work made manifest by cowards."
    ~Ralph Waldo Emerson


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    Re: Guest Etiquette

    Namast,

    Flowers, perhaps, might be appreciated, or if you do want to bring a beverage of some sort, a non-alcoholic fruit cordial or sparkling juice might be a good choice. I also found this essay helpful to learn about "unspoken" rules of hospitality. I hope you have a wonderful visit!

    Indraneela
    ===
    Oṁ Indrāya Namaḥ.
    Oṁ Namaḥ Śivāya.

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    Re: Guest Etiquette

    Quote Originally Posted by Indraneela View Post
    Namast,

    Flowers, perhaps, might be appreciated, or if you do want to bring a beverage of some sort, a non-alcoholic fruit cordial or sparkling juice might be a good choice. I also found this essay helpful to learn about "unspoken" rules of hospitality. I hope you have a wonderful visit!

    Indraneela
    ===
    Oṁ Indrāya Namaḥ.
    Oṁ Namaḥ Śivāya.
    Thank you for the link, and the suggestion! I'm looking froward to the visit.

    peace
    "God will not have his work made manifest by cowards."
    ~Ralph Waldo Emerson


  4. #4

    Re: Guest Etiquette

    There is nothing in the scriptures that condemns alcohol so unless the person has a problem with alcohol abuse I'm not sure why you would think wine is innapropriate. Jainism and Islam are against alcohol consumption so I would consider anti-alcohol views from India to be a result of creeping sharia law.

    All of my Indian friends drink, except a few of my friends from ISKCON school (and THANKFULLY ISKCON doesn't represent all of Indian religion.)
    Om Hrim Kshraum Ugram Veeram Maha-Vishnum, Jwalantham Sarvatho Mukham Nrisimham Bheeshanam Bhadram Mrityu-Mrityum Namaamyaham

    Follower of Śeṣanaaga

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    Re: Guest Etiquette

    Namaste Jodhaa,

    Quote Originally Posted by Jodhaa View Post
    [SIZE=3] Today a woman at my local temple invited me to her home next week for lunch as well as to offer me some old sari's that once belonged to her daughters. (I suppose she saw me in my western clothes every week and took pity on me) This is incredibly generous of her and I want to come to her home with a gift to say thank you, but I'm not sure what is appropriate. When I am a guest at another westerner's home I tend to bring a bottle of wine, but I don't think that's okay in this scenario. Can anyone offer some ideas?
    You can take flowers as suggested by Indraneel but that is less common in India among Hindus unless you are going on some special occasion like birthday, anniversary etc. As you going there for the first time, it would be a good idea to take gifts like : A Murti of any Hindu God/Goddess well wrapped, any decorative piece or some sweets/fruits etc. If they have small children, you may think of taking some chocolates etc.

    OM
    "Om Namo Bhagvate Vaasudevaye"

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    Re: Guest Etiquette

    Vannakkam: Flowers are okay, or chocolates too. Definitely not booze. I personally wouldn't take a deity, unless I knew they had a preference. A nice picture of a deity is always nice. They'd feel less obliged to worship it. Things like vases or houseplants are nice too.

    Have a good time.

    Aum Namasivaya

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    Re: Guest Etiquette

    Namaste Jodhaa

    Bengali sweets are always a hit.

    My wife likes to give scarves (? I think that's what she calls them, you hang around neck ?), but that's just her style.

    While I have not given as a gift, I think I recall you keep tulsi. That would be a nice gift!

    My typical gifts usually are for men or children. They would be vegan wallet, expensive combs from UK such as Kent brand, Pearsons for man or woman, and depending on the man perhaps a pocket knife or (yes) nice soap bar (I know, you have to be careful with the soap, but I love soap bars from India and such). If the person is special, I may give a watch, but watches for women well that might be too tricky.

    I give children coloring books with colors.

    I love getting berries myself, so I like to bring grapes and berries.

    I often give nice, generic stationary cards, especially those one's from Japanese stationary stores. Those type of cards, fine paper and pens, day keepers and fine notebooks. Sorry, but Japan makes the best when it comes to those things.

    But one of your doll art would be a fantastic gift!

    Sorry for rambling, but a fun subject.

    Om Namah Sivaya

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    Re: Guest Etiquette

    Namaste,
    For the first time in my life, I don't agree with any of the suggestions given to you except may be Eastern's about chocolates. Stop by an in Indian sweet shop and get a pound or two of burfi or any type of sweets or get a box of chocolates. Or get a plant from the flower shop.
    satay

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    Arrow Re: Guest Etiquette

    Namastee Jodhaa

    Whatever you do, don't invite Satay to any ladies party or lady gift sharing. He will spoil the mode.

    Firstly, for the first time in my life I am shocked, because anyone knows you cannot simply put just any pound of burfi next to Bengali sweets. This is not only denying the fact that Bengali's make the best sweets, it is stepping into dangerous "I wish I could cook sweets like Bengalis so I hate them" territory.

    Here are some pictures of Bengali sweet genre of interest:

    http://www.bengalisweet.com/getitems...ngali%20Sweets

    Watch out for too much chocolates also, it is my understanding that some chocolates are high in caffine.

    Jai Bengal Hind ki Jai
    Jai Kali Ma

    Om Namah Sivaya

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    Re: Guest Etiquette

    Bring your slippers, so that they can wash your feel easily while doing the atithi puja.

    (Just joking)

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