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Thread: 2nd marriage, Hindu wedding?

  1. #1
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    2nd marriage, Hindu wedding?

    Namaste all!

    Firstly, let me say it is great to be back on the forum.
    I am not sure where I should post this question/discussion, so please advise if it would be better suited under another topic.

    A while ago, my husband passed away. I am young (< 30 ) and have met/been matched with/am dating another man whose made his intentions to marry me clear (although we're not engaged yet, as I want to finish my graduate studies first.)

    The first time I married, I was not yet a practicing Hindu and did not have a Hindu wedding--actually I did not have any wedding, as at the time I did not really believe in the idea.

    My suitor is a Greek Orthodox Christian, but shows the utmost respect and reverence for my belief and traditions. He is a very smart, well read individual and we have talked extensively about religion and spirituality and have come to a number of great conclusions and agreements regarding interfaith relationships, raising interfaith children, etc. I have attended his religious services (wearing dupatta and bindi) and he has expressed extreme interest in attending temple with me.

    I guess one of my many ponderances is that if we should marry, would I be able to have a Hindu wedding, as I have been married before? Did any of you have Hindu weddings? Did any of you have interfaith/dual weddings? When my new boyfriend attends temple with me, how do you think I should go about introducing him to my priests?

    Thank you for taking the time to read this.

  2. #2
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    Re: 2nd marriage, Hindu wedding?

    Vannakkam Meenakshi: It might depend on the community, but at least in my experience, widows get more respect than divorcees, and a second Hindu wedding is entirely appropriate. I think you introduce your boyfriend as your friend. Premarital sex is frowned upon, so that may not go over so well. Try to explain to him that a Hindu temple is no place to show affection, and that men and women usually don't sit together.

    Best wishes on taking on the challenges a mixed religion marriage might bring.

    Aum Namasivaya

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    Re: 2nd marriage, Hindu wedding?

    Namaste Meenakshi,

    Quote Originally Posted by *Meenakshi* View Post
    if we should marry, would I be able to have a Hindu wedding, as I have been married before?
    Yes. It is quite OK and in order as per Rig Veda.

    Did any of you have Hindu weddings?
    Yes. ... and there may be many here as many of here us are born Hindus.

    how do you think I should go about introducing him to my priests?
    I don't see any problem here. You can always introduce him as your fiance, whom you are going to marry soon.

    OM
    "Om Namo Bhagvate Vaasudevaye"

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    Re: 2nd marriage, Hindu wedding?

    what the point of having a Hindu wedding when you don,t practice Hindu way of life?Consume meat,drinking alcohol & free sex....then have a Hindu wedding?no point right?

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    Re: 2nd marriage, Hindu wedding?

    Thank you very much for your responses.

    I am very aware of the taboos regarding premarital sex and temple etiquette, as is my significant other, so there is no issue there. I also thought of introducing him as my friend, but felt that if I did, my priest (a very intuitive man who has carefully guided & nurtured my spiritual growth) would raise an eyebrow as to why I do not just come out with the truth. lol
    Also, my significant other and I feel that making his status known may make it easier for him to inquire and receive direction on the many dual aspects of worship partaken by husband and wife, which he strongly wants to be involved in. These are things I am not familiar with as my late husband was a non-practicing Catholic and had little interest in other faiths.
    I am still very interested to hear if anyone within the forum had an interfaith or dual wedding, as I find the idea very fascinating.

    Thank you again!

    Oh, and Happy Navaratri!

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    Re: 2nd marriage, Hindu wedding?

    NamastÚ,

    A while back, there was a thread about this topic on the forum; you might find the responses helpful. The messages may be found here.

    Speaking for myself only, I would not consider an interfaith marriage if I ever intended to marry again, and especially not a Hindu-Christian match. Two of Christianity's major commandments involve "no other gods" and "no graven images." Beginning with the fire of the Hindu marriage sacrament (the presence and invocation of the Vedic gods - "other gods" according to a strict Christian definition), and continuing with the practice of murti pūjā (at home and in temple), I feel that having my hypothetical Christian partner participate in these practices, would be to burden his mind and heart with what is considered sin in his own religion. I would rather wed a spouse who could participate wholeheartedly in Hinduism, with no feelings of reservation, fear, or inner conflict raised by doing so.

    Having said that, love happens, and what is right for me is not automatically right for everyone else! Regardless of my preferences for myself, I wish you both the best (and agree with the others above that a second Hindu marriage is both allowed and appropriate, from the perspective of our tradition).

    Indraneela
    ===
    Oṁ Indrāya Namaḥ.
    Oṁ Namaḥ Śivāya.

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    Re: 2nd marriage, Hindu wedding?

    Quote Originally Posted by *Meenakshi* View Post
    When my new boyfriend attends temple with me, how do you think I should go about introducing him to my priests?
    As a general rule, whenever a person visits the place of worship of a different religion, it is best to abide by the rules/regulations of that religion. Cover any overt symbology of one's religion. This is out of respect to the other man's faith/religion.

    This would mean that if a Jew visits a Hindu temple, he should remove his kippah however much Yahweh/Jehovah hate Hinduism/Hindus.

    If a Muslimah visits a Catholic church, she should not go in a black-coloured Burqa covering her from head to toe with only the eyes showing, etc.

    In the specific case in point, there is no need to introduce your boyfriend to the temple priest. Let sleeping dogs lie.

    Given the history of Abrahamic deceit and slaughter of Hindus, I would not be surprised if the priest decides to avoid you if you/your boyfriend go overboard in a Hindu place of worship about his "Greek orthodox Xity", etc.

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    Re: 2nd marriage, Hindu wedding?

    Vannakkam Meenakshi,

    Having 2 separate wedding ceremonies is a great idea, since it portrays the ceremonies of both cultures/religions in the proper manner. Both sides of the family would be happy and satisfied too, as it helps both families understand each others' culture and religion much better, although in their own eyes the wedding done in their own religion is the only legitimate one.

    In other words, it's fair to both bride and groom.

    I've been to many such weddings myself, as many uncles and aunts of mine married into a wide variety of races and religions in the last 20 years or so.

    One uncle is married to a Chinese Taoist/Buddhist, so there was a tea drinking ceremony in a Chinese temple as well, in accordance with Chinese customs. Another uncle married a Punjabi Sikh, so there was another whole wedding ceremony in the Sikh gurdwara. 3 more uncles would go on to marry Catholics, so there were church weddings as well. Many uncles and aunts married Caucasians(from Canada, UK, Germany, Australia, France), so there was a Hindu wedding here and a Christian wedding in the country their spouse came from.

    And yet another uncle married an Indonesian Muslim. There was no Hindu wedding for him, but interestingly, the Indonesians have a strong Hindu history that still lives on in their day to day culture like weddings and so on as well as in their language. As such, their wedding ceremony is an amalgamation of Hindu and Islamic ceremonies. It includes the bride's father giving her way as well as many more minute Hindu rituals, that do not contradict with Islamic principles (although some conservative Muslims argue they do). In addition to that, his wedding invitation had a painting of Shiva and Parvati in the background!

    Thinking back, I had lots of fun attending all these other weddings, in addition to their Hindu ones. It also helped me appreciate the diversity in which I live in, and the diversity of culture and religion in this big, complex world.

    I would strongly recommend you to do 2 wedding ceremonies too. It's fun and keeps both sides happy. Normally only very close relatives and friends are invited to the other wedding. Best of luck!


    Aum Namah Shivaya

  9. #9

    Re: 2nd marriage, Hindu wedding?

    Quote Originally Posted by *Meenakshi* View Post
    Namaste all!

    Firstly, let me say it is great to be back on the forum.
    I am not sure where I should post this question/discussion, so please advise if it would be better suited under another topic.

    A while ago, my husband passed away. I am young (< 30 ) and have met/been matched with/am dating another man whose made his intentions to marry me clear (although we're not engaged yet, as I want to finish my graduate studies first.)

    The first time I married, I was not yet a practicing Hindu and did not have a Hindu wedding--actually I did not have any wedding, as at the time I did not really believe in the idea.

    My suitor is a Greek Orthodox Christian, but shows the utmost respect and reverence for my belief and traditions. He is a very smart, well read individual and we have talked extensively about religion and spirituality and have come to a number of great conclusions and agreements regarding interfaith relationships, raising interfaith children, etc. I have attended his religious services (wearing dupatta and bindi) and he has expressed extreme interest in attending temple with me.

    I guess one of my many ponderances is that if we should marry, would I be able to have a Hindu wedding, as I have been married before? Did any of you have Hindu weddings? Did any of you have interfaith/dual weddings? When my new boyfriend attends temple with me, how do you think I should go about introducing him to my priests?

    Thank you for taking the time to read this.
    It seems pretty stupid for a convert to immediately shack up with someone of a religion that is polar opposite in belief. Enjoy yourself since fun is your main concern.

  10. #10

    Re: 2nd marriage, Hindu wedding?

    Yes second marriage is definitely allowed.

    I also second the 2 wedding ceremony idea as it is not possible to accommodate both set of rituals at the same time.

    I am not trying to be negative - In any marriage there is always differences when 2 people come together. Bringing religion into the picture complicates the issue. This is more so if both of them are religious. If one of them is not religious then it may work as typically the family ends up following the religion of the more religious partner. Teaching the "good" points of both religions as some people say just does not work. It confuses the kids. Better to have them follow one religion and they may know some things of the others.

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