Namaste all,

First of all, I'm doing better than when I last posted...I'm still trying to get a grip on how to better control my emotions, but still, I'm not posting this in a depressed mood, so that part is good.

That said, I've been trying to read the Ramesh Menon translation of the Ramayana, as I've previously mentioned here in this forum. I haven't gotten very far (I'm only on chapter 9 of the first book), but already I have a lot to think about.

Maybe this is because I haven't gotten very far with the book yet, but from what I've read so far...it seems to be kind of a self-esteem crusher of sorts for me. No, I'm not trying to start another crisis intervention thread for myself here, I know there's real world people for that. But what I'm getting at is that the Ramayana seems to have revealed a lot about my personality already after reading only a few chapters.

What was revealed to me is that I seem to do a lot of splitting things into black-and-white type categories. In the Ramayana, it looks to me as if good and evil are very clearly defined, divided, and delineated. It's immediately apparent from the outset who's good and who's evil, with no room for in-between. Lord Rama, being descended from Lord Vishnu, is the most valuable person for the good side right from the outset due to his lineage. Likewise, the villains are all very clear-cut from their introduction.

There's nothing inherently wrong with this, don't misinterpret me. I know all great stories have conflict in them. But the stark contrast is a little jarring to me because it implies, at least to me, that some people are just born evil - they've always been evil, and always will be, regardless of what they do.

For someone with a self-image problem like myself, this can make for a problematic read, because my mind is already saying things like "if you're not a Rama, you're a Ravana" (i.e. if you're not a saint, you're a horrible sinner, and similar). I'm guessing this isn't the intended message of the Ramayana, but...

I guess the question I'm asking here is: should I keep reading? If my warped mind has this reaction already, will reading the Ramayana help set me straight, or make it worse?