Cultivating Kshama
Namaste dear friends,
I have been meaning to post about trouble I have been having recently with trying to maintain calm and patience when dealing with people who are diametrically opposed to you, either in conduct or opinion. I must confess in the years I have come to understand Hinduism and what it means to be a good Hindu, I have evolved in my thinking in some ways. Initially I would liken my attitude to a new convert, very enthusiastic but in many ways also naive. Although I understand that there is "each to his own" on how Hinduism might relate to other faiths, I think I am overall comfortable with the idea that sincere spirituality and search for God and the Ultimate Truth exists in most religions. Even if the greater majority does not represent this but has rather a skewed understanding of the meaning of human spiritual growth, I still think it is possible to find a kernel of what is considered spiritually "worthy" and dharmic.
However, of late I have really come to understand why some of our Hindu brethren have little or no love for Abrahamic neighbours and acquaintances who they have had to deal with in the past. I guess after a time having come into contact with such people myself, I can see that it is not just words I am reading on a monitor. Such people actually exist! It may sound a bit unbelieveable that I am showing such surprise but I suppose you never really believe until you can experience something for yourself. I have read countless posts and threads about the ignorance and almost paranoic fear Christians have for non-Christian expressions of God and divinity, and their shunning of yoga even as exercise, but I expected these to be people who lived in scattered parts of the world (i.e. Bible belt in the midwestern States). Not in my little country where religion is in fact fast becoming something people are disassociating themselves with as a kind of revolution!
I am currently having to work daily with someone who might be considered of this mindset. This colleague of mine is still very young for someone so vocal about her religion (mid twenties). While I can see she has a good heart and is compassionate in the way the Bible dictates to love thy neighbour, she can be almost a bit grating in this. I am curious if anyone else ever notices the same thing with Christian neighbours, etc.? Do they always assume you: a) believe in God or are necessarily religious or interested in religion, and b) you are Christian? How very presumptious! I must confess something as a follower of Sanatana Dharma. I try to be as good a Hindu as it is possible for someone living in a country with a small Indian/Hindu population. Eat vegetables, do japa and the occassional fasting for holy days. But I don't wear my faith on my sleeve. It just isn't my thing for some reason. If someone asks me outright what is my faith, I will tell them Hindu, but other than that I won't advertise it to them.
This work colleague of mine however is very loud in her beliefs, and she's about as conservative as you get for a Roman Catholic. Initially this was very refreshing to see - not very many young people I know are interested or care for that sort of thing. Her opinions border on the fundamental side and would be deemed almost offensive by some. After nearly a year sitting beside her I must confess my patience is starting to wear thin. I really couldn't care less hearing about the papal election or the missionaries in India (something which actually grated further on me, knowing what goes on in those circles other than charity and helping the poor), but this person insists on talking to me about it everyday. I am not exaggerating when I say every day.
There was a topic posted recently about the difference between religion and spirituality, and I was going to respond with this post, only I felt it went off on too much of a tangent to be valid. Please let me announce this isn't an attack on another religion or an anti-Abrahamic post! I know Satay will thank me for it! Only that I feel as if this person is not so much spiritual as she is just doggedly religious. But deceptively so. I've seen her in situations where I am rather shocked at her cunning or ambitious behaviour and I find it rather unbecoming, especially for someone who professes such a faith in her church and its teachings.
Today I overheard her discussing with another colleague the benefits of meditation and spiritual healing, and this person remarked she had attended classes on introduction to the chakras and yogic meditation - probably more in the way of new age paganism and pseudo-Vedic style than the real thing, but no matter. Today I was able to confirm my suspicions; this colleague of mine then began saying that those classes are Hindu (which they're not) and that it's not a good idea to get involved with that type of thing because who knows what sort of bad spirits you are communicating with. I would consider myself patient enough even in challenging moments to keep quiet and let someone to his/her opinion, but today I physically had to bite down on my tongue and let it pass. I wasn't in the conversation, after all. Such ignorance made me wonder how naive I was to think such extremists lived halfway across the world from me, prosetylising the poor with the price of bread, boarding and rudimentary education. Not at all. It turns out they sit right next to me in work.
My post is mostly to ask how to deal with people like this. I think kshama one of the greater virtues extolled by Pantanjali. Understanding of svadharma different to one's own and forgiveness of the ignorance or evil that arises as a result. Shiva and Mother Goddess show this to me every time I join my hands in prayer and offer worship. When I recite mantras to Them, I know they are showering mercy on me for my ignorance and my lack of a Hindu upbringing and my unrefined tongue that might only pronounce Their names accurately half the time. It is one of the virtues that supports ahimsa and the concept of compassion for everything, so by failing in this daily I really feel in some ways ashamed of myself. She is a good Catholic and so one can argue she is following her dharma accordingly which would be better than if she did not, according to Bhagavad Gita's teaching. But her ignorance is still astouding and offensive to me.
Despite this, I couldn't help but feel I would sooner the world graduated into atheism and non-Christian religions (or any religion that dicates "my way or the highway" type philosophy) than have innocent souls continue to live in the indoctrinated ignorance that their path is the only path to God. Even as I type I can feel anger in me, something I'd sooner quell than allow to grow. But then I also recognise that they are not to blame. They are only growing up and reciting the things they have been taught. I can see why so many atheists have likened religion (ie. Christianity) to brainwashing.
Sorry for the rant (of sorts). I just felt compelled to share a struggle of mine that I am dealing with right now. It's one of the hardest virtues to cultivate I am finding!
Om namah Shivaya
"Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny."
ॐ गं गणपतये नमः
Om Gam Ganapataye namah
लोकाः समस्ताः सुखिनो भवन्तु ।
Lokaah SamastaaH Sukhino Bhavantu
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