Namaste.
Sometimes, one's "life" comes first in that there are decisions/choices that must be made and we need time to think.
Other times, situations beyond our control can keep us quite 'busy' for a while, such as moving residence, getting fired, breaking up with a 'significant other', death of a relative etc. Lord Shiva presents us with many challenges in life, but the biggest one is to remain in remembrance/awareness of Him.
For the past month, I haven't done my worship, nor even given it any thought beyond the 5-10 minute prayer I would normally do before going to sleep for the evening (if I wasn't too exhausted and just slept it off anyway).
I also don't want life to 'take over' again, even though any major life change requires significant emotional investment.
Now, I am starting to feel a bit 'guilty' about it all. I am feeling the pull of His Love within again.
So, I pray into that feeling and it's like:
"I am sorry for ignoring You this past month, Lord Bholenath. You sure gave me a lot of work to do this time, didn't You?"
"All I'm asking is that You help me do this, to make the work go faster, so that I can spend more time in my worship of You".
"It's not like You don't understand what I am saying here. I am Your mindless puppet, so, of course I am going to forget about You from time to time".
"You find this all to be quite amusing, don't You, dear Lord? You must show me how much through Your Darshan one day..then I'll make sure my memory will improve".
"Please help me through this major transition in my life, Shiva. I am apprehensive to know what the future has in store for me but at least I am re-assured to know my life will always have You in it, even if my mind often forgets it does".
"Later on, I also need to get You to teach me how 'my mind' can be 'mine".
"Aum Namah Shivaya".
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