Help!

[drudge]

I feel like my thoughts are not my own. The more I meditate, the more I get the feeling that I do not control my thoughts, but they do me, and that they are not even mine. Its like someone else was thinking them, except I can hear them. This is scary. And if so, what point is there in meditating if I cant even control my own thoughts?

[Necromancer]

I feel like my thoughts are not my own. The more I meditate, the more I get the feeling that I do not control my thoughts, but they do me, and that they are not even mine. Its like someone else was thinking them, except I can hear them. This is scary. And if so, what point is there in meditating if I cant even control my own thoughts?

Aum Swastiastu

Allow me to make it even more scary for you then.

If your thoughts are not 'your own' then to whom do they belong?

If they ever 'belonged' to you, who or what took possession of them at the time they did?

Was there any time when you ever 'owned' what you thought? What is that 'I' that thinks in 'I think so'?

Your mind does indeed, 'control' your thoughts and actions. Thoughts are but mental process of the mind. Thoughts can be either conscious or subconscious (like those you are talking about).

Thoughts arise as waves of Vritti on the lake of Chitta....thoughts create Samskaras.

So, who told you that you had to 'control' your thoughts to be able to meditate anyway? You don't need to stop thinking....you just need to watch your thoughts. Just sit there observing them as they arise, manifest and pass. Watch each thought like you are watching a movie in a movie theatre....on a screen.

Don't try and stop thinking...just watch each thought but don't dwell on any thought. Let them pass from your mind with peace, love and Om.

Pretty soon, you will start to notice a very tiny gap between each thought...thoughts are not consecutive.

Once you see that hole...like a rip in the fabric of space/time...you concentrate only on that....focusing and training your breath (breathing is very important) only on that.

I doubt anybody can 'control' their thoughts, but I'd love to have $1 for every time I have heard 'I can't meditate because my thoughts are too erratic and I need to quieten my mind'.

That's what meditation does....not is.

I give them a black candle, tell them to go light it then gaze at it....when thoughts come, bring awareness back to the flame. When eyes get tired, close them and focus on the after-image in the Third-Eye Chakra. It's called Trataka.

See...in the end, no matter whose thoughts are in your head, it's of little importance or significance.

I hope you find a nice, patient teacher.

Aum Namah Shivaya