Page 1 of 5 12345 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 44

Thread: Question about "heavy ocean on top of me" situation

  1. #1

    Question about "heavy ocean on top of me" situation

    Namaste,
    I am wondering about my heavy ocean situation. I've had no ego since Spring of 2010, but this turned out to be a lesser overall development than I had originally surmised, and so not any other development, such as an ocean of bliss. That happened for a couple of hours back in 2010, where I was just swimming in it, but that ended. My personal self ended the day before that, unmistakably so, but without bliss. (I didn't know that was possible) I have been incapable of internal conflict ever since, and the old ego-experiencer of things is just not there.

    While swimming in that bliss, I had a problem with my (it seems) 'new self' not wanting there to be smoking, but there was this urge, and it was like dickering back and forth for some kind of a deal to cut back and eventually quit in exchange for not being angry about the smoking. (I am curious as to how to understand and put what went on in that)

    Since that time, I've gotten into a couple of situations where I was practically being crushed under what seemed like a big river or ocean, like it was on top of me. I have a fear of not being able to handle the energy of it, and maybe exploding if I let it in.

    So what I ultimately would like to do is get some of these thoughts aligned with their Hindu-put counterparts and figure out what these things are called and what has been said about them, and what I really am facing in these situations.

    Thank you for any assistance. :-)
    - Mark

  2. #2

    Re: Question about "heavy ocean on top of me" situation

    Namaste,
    I think perhaps it would help to provide a few extra details about myself. I found my liberation through mostly pure analysis, solving puzzles and answering questions on blank paper. I do not have a strong background in other practices. There has been some karma yoga, some service, and many years ago some samkhya and meditation, but for example, I have not meditated in quite a few years.

    I once read "don't take the path of the philosopher", but it didn't say why. I think I know why. It seems to me that I have done this, and that this has produced a lop-sided result. Sure, I solved a puzzle, but it seems that on matters of state or condition and of habits that I have done much less. I would warn regarding this path, because I think it can be problematic to start up new habits without ego-impetus.

    And so now I wonder about "crushing heavy weight on me" situations, and as to whether or not I can handle whatever it is, as lop-sided or underdeveloped in some ways, or if I would be crushed, or if it was not on top of me but in me then perhaps I would explode, and so I have been trying to avoid getting into this situation. I am even concerned about meditation with the thought that I might get closer to this situation. I was watching a swami on youTube a couple of years ago, and my face got pressed flat into my desk, and it felt like a lot of weight on top of me.

    So I guess I could say that I don't want to get crushed or exploded to death or anything like this.

    TIA -
    Mark

  3. #3

    Re: Question about "heavy ocean on top of me" situation

    I was just doing some searching and jogged my memory of experiences I have also had on a dozen occasions over the past 20 years that I did not relate to this. It appears I have experienced precisely what is described as "sleep paralysis" when going into a sleep state. If I could get my eyes open, it would be enough to break the spell. For me, since I tend to lie on my stomach, it has occurred as a crushing weight on my back (but when going into dream state), and almost as though it is an entity bearing down on me.

    http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/20...eep_paralysis/

    I did not associate the two types of incidents, because I was wide awake for the other situations mentioned previously.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    September 2006
    Age
    69
    Posts
    7,705
    Rep Power
    218

    Re: Question about "heavy ocean on top of me" situation

    hari o
    ~~~~~~
    namast

    First one needs to be mindful that knowledge and experience compliment each other. One supports ( and grooms) the other so this lop-sideness gets balanced.

    Let's be certain first of your experience of Self. Is Self there all the time ? Wake, dream and during sleep ? This is coined by many as 'Self Referral'. That is, all other things that are going on in the world is activity, yet you are grounded in the Self. This Self is the ~ocean~ of silence, of peace. Varying degrees of this occur.

    Let's start there ...

    iti śivaṁ
    यतस्त्वं शिवसमोऽसि
    yatastvaṁ śivasamo'si
    because you are identical with śiva

    _

  5. #5

    Re: Question about "heavy ocean on top of me" situation

    Quote Originally Posted by yajvan View Post
    hari o
    ~~~~~~
    namast

    First one needs to be mindful that knowledge and experience compliment each other. One supports ( and grooms) the other so this lop-sideness gets balanced.

    Let's be certain first of your experience of Self. Is Self there all the time ? Wake, dream and during sleep ? This is coined by many as 'Self Referral'. That is, all other things that are going on in the world is activity, yet you are grounded in the Self. This Self is the ~ocean~ of silence, of peace. Varying degrees of this occur.

    Let's start there ...

    iti śivaṁ
    Namaste Yajvan,
    Thank you for your consideration. I would have to say "no" to that. Not in deep sleep.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    September 2006
    Age
    69
    Posts
    7,705
    Rep Power
    218

    Re: Question about "heavy ocean on top of me" situation

    hari o
    ~~~~~~
    namast


    Quote Originally Posted by MarkMe View Post
    Namaste Yajvan,
    Thank you for your consideration. I would have to say "no" to that. Not in deep sleep.
    So, let me test my understanding... This 'Self' is your regular experience in wake & dream. Yet is not stabilized (as yet) in deep sleep, correct ?

    Also please take a few minutes to consider this string:
    http://www.hindudharmaforums.com/showthread.php?t=6901


    iti śivaṁ
    यतस्त्वं शिवसमोऽसि
    yatastvaṁ śivasamo'si
    because you are identical with śiva

    _

  7. #7

    Re: Question about "heavy ocean on top of me" situation

    Quote Originally Posted by yajvan View Post
    hari o
    ~~~~~~
    namast


    So, let me test my understanding... This 'Self' is your regular experience in wake & dream. Yet is not stabilized (as yet) in deep sleep, correct ?

    Also please take a few minutes to consider this string:
    http://www.hindudharmaforums.com/showthread.php?t=6901

    iti śivaṁ
    Thank you - I have looked at the list of 'stops' there. Perhaps "some knowledge" is a regular experience, and "self-awareness" is something I did experience for a couple of hours. But this is not how I understand putting things.

    It seems as though the condition which began in 2010 was very confined - ignorant - body-seeing, but as I say, experiencer-less and without internal conflict, and it seems silent or like nothing at all in itself, and also knowing of some larger things. Somehow, the trees are wonderful, for example.

    To be clear, Yajvan, it seems earthly and ignorant. If I dream, I don't know it. When I'm in deep sleep, I don't know it. But I know more - I've experienced more. When awake, I feel as if I'm nothing and experiencing a (edit relatively superficial body (which I still experience).

    The day after this new condition began, I had a moment of eye contact with my beloved dad, and then I had to go down on the floor for a couple of hours, and there was swimming in bliss, but then that ended. It involved what seemed like a new, joyous self coming into the body and having to learn to work the arms and legs, but, that ocean of bliss experience ended. There were twists I would have ever expected. At one point, a little beeper went off in the central nervous system and said "time for a cigarette", and then it was as though my joyous new self got very angry, and then it got sad, and there were tears, and then there was the idea of cutting back as some kind of a deal. And then that experience ended, returning to the nothing-like self mentioned above.

    Could this be a very undeveloped state of egolessness? This is what I have been wondering.

  8. #8

    Re: Question about "heavy ocean on top of me" situation

    (continued - added detail). There was the first day in which it seemed my first-person point of perspective ended. This was relatively uneventful - no bliss or anything like that, but I felt that I knew what had happened - that my previous first-person was gone - *poof*.

    For however uneventful it was, there was also a tiny 'snap' or 'pop' sensation at the very moment of the poof, which I later traced to the location of the thalamus. What was then left was, as I say, seemed like a mundane kind of no-self - to this day.

  9. #9

    Re: Question about "heavy ocean on top of me" situation

    Quote Originally Posted by Eastern Mind View Post
    Vannakkam: So this previous 'I' was replaced with a new 'I' which then will be replaced with another new 'I', and so on and so on?

    Aum Namasivaya
    It's language. What else do you do? Remove the "I' from when you speak? You could put things in so many ways, but frankly, I think you make it sound like you missed your yoga class this morning.

  10. #10

    Re: Question about "heavy ocean on top of me" situation

    praNAm MarkMe

    I get the feeling that from time to time you reach temporary vairAgya* (state of desirelessness and free of tendency of any resolve, motivation) regarding everything else except for the cigarrette (owing to habit of anna-prANa kosha). Also, in another sense the ego attached to the smoking is there. If it wasn't, you wouldn't get angry because [a part of] you wanted to smoke a cigarrete. This sAttvic ego says "I am not supposed to smoke" (which is good in the long run)

    Regarding EGO: Acc. to VaishNav schools, you do not lose the most basic true ahaMkAr* (basic existential ego), but one must lose the false-ego (which is all about me, mine, makes resolutions to do things for oneself (sva-sankalpa*), which expects praise, resents blame and criticism, etc.). Here, serving the Will of the Supreme Person is treated as an exception to the sankalpas. (i.e. divine sankalpa = no sankalpa)


    From what you have said it looks like you have almost lost the false-ego, but not the basic existential ego, which is why Eastern Mind reads the "my" and "I" in the posts. (by the way he was refering to himself as "this ignorant fool", not to you.)
    If we cannot communicate without these words (I, my), it must mean we cannot lose the most basic existential ego at least as long as we communicate. Wanting to communicate is also a sankalpa.

    Letting go of all and any tendency for sankalpa (keeping goals, wanting to do this and that - no matter how good the intention may be) can perhaps lead to that state of being under the heavy ocean.

    If that is not a very desirable state (at least as of today), then holding onto the Supreme Person via self-less devotion can keep one out of the need for any other sankalpa in this world, except bhakti (devotion - which need not be in/of this world). However, as long as the body lives, some sankalpa will be there, it will finally taper off.

    om namo bhagavate vAsudevAya

    _________
    *vairAgya = absence of desires and absence of resolution (resolve) of any kind
    *ahaMkAr = "I" ness, ego
    *sankalpa (saMkalpa) = resolve
    Last edited by smaranam; 20 May 2013 at 07:23 AM.
    || Shri KRshNArpaNamastu ||

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 8
    Last Post: 09 October 2011, 03:55 AM
  2. Once There Was A Wave...
    By yajvan in forum Other Dharma Traditions
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 29 July 2011, 04:08 AM
  3. Why so few Indra devotees?
    By Kismet in forum God in Hindu Dharma
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 22 July 2011, 08:55 AM
  4. Cosmic Ocean, Streams, Symbols...
    By yajvan in forum Scriptures
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 05 October 2007, 11:36 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •