Namaste my friends,
I have been singing the chalisas, bhajans, and stutis in my temple during puja.
I asked if there were copies of the temple prayer book for sale in the gift shop, and the man behind the counter replied by saying it is in three languages (It's actually Sanskrit, transliterated into three alphabets: Hindi/Devanagari, Gujarati, and Latin). Then he asked me if I could read them, which I thought was odd (I don't imagine most devotees read Sanskrit). I told him that I couldn’t, and that’s why I wanted to take one home to study. Then he asked me if it was for a school project. I told him “no” (I've been coming to puja for two months).
Anyway, he was nice and explained that the temple is revising them, hence the shortage. He took my name and phone number and made a phone call to check on the prayer books. He said they would call me when they got some in. Hopefully, they will, as I absolutely adore our Deities and their songs.
I’m attributing the awkwardness of this social exchange to a cultural gap and the oddity of my presence at the temple. We both had a different set of social expectations that were challenged. I certainly didn’t mean to be a nuisance. He probably doesn’t know that I am learning Sanskrit and Hindi for spiritual purposes.
I’ve been going to the Advaita satsang and volunteered to do some gardening last Saturday. I met a couple Acharyas who were happy to discuss philosophy with me. Also, some other worshippers at the temple are starting to talk to me. I know we Americans don’t have the best reputation or thinking. I am personally working to curb my nearly boundless arrogance and cynicism, and to improve my sense of self. Conscious acts are never unidirectional; they are reciprocal by nature.[1] It is easy for us Westerners to alienate and devalue other people. The most vicious weapons invariably turn on those who bear them. My thinking has turned on me. But I am working on that problem with other people and professionals.
To sum up:
1. I would like to make friends at the temple, but I have an urge to intellectualize and judge all my experiences.
2. I know I should be humble before God and others, but my impulses tell me to master everything. They will tell me anything to be indulged.
3. I want to build a sense of community, devotion, humility, service, and dharma before the Lord and my peers.
Are there any suggestions on how to approach these goals from a spiritual or communal perspective? Should I consider talking to a priest or Acharya?
Pranam.
[1] Consider Hegel’s discussion. Hegel, G.W.F. The Phemonology of Spirit. “Independence and Dependence of Self-Consciousness: Lordship and Bondage.” Trans. A. V. Miller. Delhi: Shri Jainendra Press, 1998. Print. §178-§196.
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