Temple Community, Personal Goals, and Cultural Divide

[Jeffery D. Long]

Namaste!

Believer's words are wise and correct. In fact I love it that I know exactly where I stand when I am with Indians. More so than with my "fellow" westerners. There is no pretense. But this also means people can be pretty blunt. We non-Indians need to get over ourselves sometimes. It does feel weird to be told by a new Indian member of our local temple "Welcome to our temple!" A temple where I have been a member for over a decade, where I have taught children and led discussion groups for adults, and on whose governing board I have served. The intent is pure, so any offense I would take would just be my ego getting in the way. This will all pass in a few generations.

[Anima Deorum]

Namaste my friends,

And thank you, Believer and Sudhas. First, let me apologize to referring to the above as a "report" rather than an update on my personal experience. Obviously, I do seek feedback, even when I am not aware. Also, I have presumed to know what was in this man's heart. My gut rarely steers me wrong on situations; yet my mind almost invariably confuses me.

I will work on not worrying about the others.

I probably misinterpreted this exchange.

Neither fact is accidental. Praise the Gods.

PS: I bought a book on Saraswati. It has hymns, shlokas, and prayers to this dear Goddess. It even has an invocation:

Chaturbhujam Chandravaranam Chaturanan Vallabham
Avahyami Vag-devim Veena-pustak Dharineem (2)

Pranam.

[Believer]

Namaste,

It does feel weird to be told by a new Indian member of our local temple "Welcome to our temple!" A temple where I have been a member for over a decade, where I have taught children and led discussion groups for adults, and on whose governing board I have served. The intent is pure, so any offense I would take would just be my ego getting in the way. This will all pass in a few generations.

Ha Ha! ' Welcome to our temple'; again the person is being welcoming and friendly, without having even the slightest idea that it could sound very offensive to the person being welcomed, since he has been part of this so called 'our temple' for a number of years. I am sorry such things happen but you have to forgive 'my homies' and move on. There is no ill will there, just a lack of, or more like a total absence of inter-personal verbal engagement training.

And while we are on that subject, Sudas, your words, 'Return to the temple' don't sound too cool man! Try not to order people around by using such language, use something like 'I would suggest that you keep visiting this temple'. Write your posts in a word file, polish them to make sure they don't sound offensive and then do a copy and paste to post them here. A suggestion that sounds like an order is bound to cause a negative reaction. When you get to be my age, you would be excused by people for being cantankerous and for ordering them around. Till then be gentle and respectful.

Pranam.

[Sudas Paijavana]

And while we are on that subject, Sudas, your words, 'Return to the temple' don't sound too cool man! Try not to order people around by using such language, use something like 'I would suggest that you keep visiting this temple'. Write your posts in a word file, polish them to make sure they don't sound offensive and then do a copy and paste to post them here. A suggestion that sounds like an order is bound to cause a negative reaction. When you get to be my age, you would be excused by people for being cantankerous and for ordering them around. Till then be gentle and respectful.

Namaste,

It is safe for me to state that Anima didn't see it as an "order". He most likely took it as comforting for he did thank not just you but me as well. My post was meant to be succinct as possible so it could come off as condoling and straightforward as it could. Now, both you and I don't know how it was really perceived by the OP, so it isn't our place to state that it was "bound to cause a negative reaction". Hopefully, Anima can confirm your sentiments upon his next logging in, even though this is of minute importance nonetheless. Devotees sometimes tend to think too much about people around them, when they should prioritize their concentration upon the Devatas instead. Till then, let us not come to conclusions and let it be, for respect to the OP was never in question. Shanti, brother. Shanti.

[Eastern Mind]

Namaste my friends,

And thank you, Believer and Sudhas. First, let me apologize to referring to the above as a "report" rather than an update on my personal experience. Obviously, I do seek feedback, even when I am not aware. Also, I have presumed to know what was in this man's heart. My gut rarely steers me wrong on situations; yet my mind almost invariably confuses me.

I will work on not worrying about the others.

I probably misinterpreted this exchange.

Neither fact is accidental. Praise the Gods.

PS: I bought a book on Saraswati. It has hymns, shlokas, and prayers to this dear Goddess. It even has an invocation:

Chaturbhujam Chandravaranam Chaturanan Vallabham
Avahyami Vag-devim Veena-pustak Dharineem (2)

Pranam.

Vannakkam: My initial take on your encounter was that the person had very poor English. I have to keep that in mind a lot of the time. Sometimes it's really that simple. He may not have understood a word you were saying, and his own command of the language may have been so poor that whatever he could say would be rude. Many people, until you get quite familiar, are quite ashamed to openly admit not knowing a language. I've had this type of personal misunderstanding quite often, and usually it's my wrong assumptions that caused it.

Also, politeness, and rudeness themselves often shift according to culture. So it's good to have that in the back of your mind as well.

Best wishes in developing a fruitful temple attending habit.

Aum Namasivaya

[Eastern Mind]

Ha Ha! ' Welcome to our temple';

Vannakkam: I enjoy similar stuff too at times. It never bothers me, because you're right. It's just the intent. But I welcome people as well. Just two days ago, somebody came along who happened to be entering as I was, and they said (usually a person doesn't) "This is my first time here." So yeah, you say 'hello' or 'Namaste' or something.

Aum Namasivaya

[Anima Deorum]

Thank you for your kind feedback, everyone.

Pranam.