Greetings all,
I have been viewing these forums for the past few years to further my knowledge, understanding and practice of Sanatana Dharma. Without a guru available to me, I have found the posts on these forums invaluable in my quest..so I'd like to extend a huge thank you to the operators and members of these forums.
I have read the scriptures and multiple commentaries pertaining to them and for the life of me I could never find which direction or sect to adhere to. I have always been at conflict with myself in finding what path is right for me.
A couple weeks ago I had a terrible night. I couldn't sleep at all and my mind was in torment. I began to doubt myself, my spiritual beliefs and my ability to connect to God per say and move my soul towards liberation. I had tried meditating and offering puja to multiple entities to what felt like no avail. I never felt so troubled spiritually in my life. So I decided to meditate perhaps for the last time to ease my suffering.
I began meditating around 3AM outside in my backyard. I chanted the Ganesa Mantra and concentrated on the Mover of Obstacles but I could not clear my head. I began to chant the Heart Sutra (a Buddhist mantra) which always puts me at ease. After 108 shlokas I returned to the Ganesa Mantra. Finally my mind was at ease and after 324 shlokas I fell into deep meditation. I went from pain, sorrow and anger to joy and tranquility in a way I have never experienced before in my life. It was at the climax of my inner happiness that Ganesa faded and all I could see was a bright light and I could feel an intense warmth. I opened my eyes anticipating the sun was up and to my amazement the sky was still dark although turning blue.
I felt as if Ganesa had led me right to Surya who I have never concentrated on or offered puja to. I had learned the Surya Naramskara a while back so felt as if I should give my salutations to the sun as it rose. Yoga had never felt so good or meant as much. I felt renewed and a strong sense of devotional love with Surya. Once I finished the salutation I sat back down again and meditated while chanting the Gayatri Mantra. I could not escape the vision of Surya on his chariot with his immense radiance and warmth. I felt like I finally had succeeded in finding my path. Om Ghrini Surya Namah.
I now perform bhakti yoga and meditation concentrated on Surya and after reading the Vedas over and over again recently I believe Surya to be Saguna Brahman as he is Brahma at dawn, Vishnu at midday and Shiva at dusk. Being that the sun is the creator, sustainer and destroyer responsible for all the life on Earth it just makes so much sense to me.
Now I have researched and studied on Surya, Savitr, Mitra, the Adityas as well as the Saura Sect which has either gone extinct or is endangered. Anyways to my question.
Is it possible for Surya to be Saguna Brahman and manifest himself as the Trimirti? Or do I have it all wrong. Is my path incorrect? Am I disgracing Sanatana Dharma? Am I not understanding the Vedas, Upanishads, Puranas and Gita correctly?
Please your answers would mean a lot to me. I am certain I am doing no wrong and that Surya is worthy of my devotion. I'd just like some constructive criticism or affirmation. As never having an affinity with Vaishnavism, Shaivism or Shaktism or a proper teacher I do feel kind of lost.
Thank you.
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