Still Feel Like I'm Doing it Wrong

[Necromancer]

Namaste.

Logic is telling me not to proceed any further without a bit of background.

1. What kind of 'Hindu' are you? Do you believe in Shiva, Vishnu, Ganesha, Durga?

2. Why do you believe in said aspect of God? (don't answer that here, but in your own heart).

3. Are there any (many) temples you can get to? You may have answered this in another thread, so sorry if I get you to repeat yourself.

4. What books do you study/sadhana do you do? are you drawn towards one particular philosophy or another?

Where exactly do you stand?

Sometimes, you need to forge that path out for yourself (even though having a Guru/Guide is highly preferable).

It's nice to read Bhagavad Gita and I would also recommend it - if that's what is 'calling' you.

You will soon be able to hear the 'calling' when your mind is still enough - telling you what you should be doing next...telling you if you are 'doing it wrong' or not.

Aum Namah Shivaya

[Necromancer]

Namaste.

Sometimes it's difficult to keep my mind trained on Shiva, especially when I am grocery shopping, comparing tins of soup and everything suddenly becomes like an Andy Warhol painting...

When I am looking through the front flyscreen door out into the yard and suddenly I can see things from both focus perspectives simultaneously - the universe looks weird segregated by mesh...

Or like now, I can hear my neighbours car approaching from three streets away - it must have a noisy muffler. lol

Yet when he comes home and closes the car door, I jump through the roof now.

I'll just get to the point.

When I start to feel 'distant' from Lord Shiva, all I have to do is ask my heart how much do you (heart)/I really love Him?

I don't even try to rationalise the answer, because that would be like finding the end of Shiva Lingam, like trying to find the middle of the universe', like touching Lord Shiva Himself.

There must be a reason why you are a Hindu, some attraction there...dig deep into it.

In my case, the Abyss gazed back into me and that takes a bit of 'getting used to'.

Aum Namah Shivaya