Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: Practical Neutrality

  1. #1
    Join Date
    April 2012
    Location
    London, United Kingdom
    Age
    28
    Posts
    561
    Rep Power
    787

    Practical Neutrality

    Namaste,

    Today I would like to offer a simple thread on how you deal with remaining neutral.

    Like my previous thread this one is based on practicality; rather than esoteric exploration. Both of these can go hand-in-hand, however let me explain:

    Hindu literature is scattered with quotes to the effect of this one found in the Gita:

    “The nonpermanent appearance of happiness and distress, and their disappearance in due course, are like the appearance and disappearance of winter and summer seasons.They arise from sense perception,and one must learn to tolerate them without being disturbed.”

    A beautiful quote indeed, but how do you put this into practice in your daily life? How do you remain neutral, in happiness and distress without reducing the quality of life, without seeming indifferent, cold, or plain distant from your surroundings. Please share your thoughts. This is something I struggle with putting into practice.

    Again I am not looking for esoteric answers. I am aware of the philosophy surrounding this, I am looking for mechanisms to help fend off down-moments in immediate situations while on the journey to realising the inner bliss which we all possess.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    July 2010
    Location
    The Holy Land - India
    Posts
    2,824
    Rep Power
    5430

    Re: Practical Neutrality

    Namaste,

    Quote Originally Posted by IcyCosmic View Post
    I am looking for mechanisms to help fend off down-moments in immediate situations while on the journey to realising the inner bliss which we all possess.
    Since you are asking about pragmatic solutions that you could apply in real life and not a bunch of philosophical ideas/quotes, may I ask what your reasons are for the down moments? What causes you the distress - the source?

    Pranam.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    India
    Age
    24
    Posts
    212
    Rep Power
    856

    Re: Practical Neutrality

    Thanx for starting the thread, I want to talk abt this neutrality, I was going to start new thread but stop bcoz some reasons and now see ur ones...
    I am neutral in happiness and sorrow, I can live with saying no words in my mind means I stop my mental chatter.
    I was going to ask question that is this neutrality is normal? As I miss many happy moments in life, there are many good things happening surrounding me but I can't enjoy a single one, I always be neutral and so I was thinking that I can't enjoy my life so I should quite this feeling but then I think that its rare and will help me in my spiritual progress so I am going to ask that enjoying this happy moment by quiting this neutrality is good or I get some benefit by this neutrality.
    What we get by this neutrality? I able to bring this neutral nature in my life but till not able to constantly think on god...
    Sorry to interrupt in icycosmic jis thread but help me too by giving some more info.
    -pranam
    Aasato ma sat gamay
    tamaso ma jotirgamay
    mrityorma amrutamgamay
    (Bring me from asat to sat, bring me from darkness (ignorance) to light (knowledge), bring me from death to immortality)
    Om Namah Shivay
    Om Vishnave Namah

  4. #4
    Join Date
    April 2012
    Location
    London, United Kingdom
    Age
    28
    Posts
    561
    Rep Power
    787

    Re: Practical Neutrality

    Quote Originally Posted by Believer View Post
    Namaste,



    Since you are asking about pragmatic solutions that you could apply in real life and not a bunch of philosophical ideas/quotes, may I ask what your reasons are for the down moments? What causes you the distress - the source?

    Pranam.
    Namaste,

    An excellent question.

    It is a difficult one to explain or even conceptualise, but it mainly stems from family problems. In general it is fine, but the fluctuation between serenity and chaos within these four-walls is occasionally a bit much to handle for me. It can be hard for me to not go into a (internal shell) and become entirely demotivated until hours after said events take place. Even if said events are not inclusive of me at all. In general, I am O.K. : but one of my problems stems from my again (internal) compassion. I come across as someone who is perhaps mean or blunt. Whatever the case may be. Really though I am always thinking about if other people are at ease, so much so, that I am willing to sacrifice any of my personal pleasures to make sure they are fine. This is fine to an extent but in certain situations is destructive. I'm starting to think I need to be neutral and accept that they are the conduits of their own happiness and I don't have to facilitate everything. These two scenarios are issues...hard to explain, but you may just get the gist
    Last edited by IcyCosmic; 03 January 2015 at 11:32 AM.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    September 2007
    Location
    Canada
    Age
    68
    Posts
    7,191
    Rep Power
    5033

    Re: Practical Neutrality

    Vannakkam Icy: You always start such great threads, or ask such practical questions.

    This is difficult. I think only those souls living in the state of jnana, or well practiced yogis can actually remain neutral full time. For the rest of us, its a work in progress.

    My Guru calls this act of remaining neutral 'affectionate detachment'. So the idea is to remain calm and not react to situations as they arise, am I right?

    One philosophical stance that may help is that is how karma is worked out ... simply by not re-acting. Note re-act means to act again. By acting again, we miss the opportunity to work out that karma, and choose to delay it, for another time. That's fine, but not particularly beneficial to spiritual progress.

    I've had some practice at this, given my age, and still have not come anywhere close to mastering it. So don't feel alone.

    Some strategies I employ are breathing deeply and steadily, or distancing myself, but not in a way that is sullen, more in a positive way, like going for a nature walk, or just doing something positive ... preparing a nice meal, things like that.

    Another longer term technique is to really study the other people involved. For example, an elder here in my community has always had anger issues. When I reflected on the things he's said over the years, I came to the likely conclusion that he was abused by his own father. Now this explains a lot to me ... early subconscious mind programming has the largest affect on a person. So although he still doesn't know it, he's actually mad at his Appa. Analyzing through observation like this helps me ... even though I may be completely wrong about my assessment, at least now I never take it personally and re-act with him.

    Hope some of this helps ... best wishes on practicing neutrality.

    Aum Namasivaya

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    India
    Age
    24
    Posts
    212
    Rep Power
    856

    Re: Practical Neutrality

    Namaste!
    I want to clear one thing that I said, I am neutral but from EM jis thread I understand that I don't master it, it takes time. But in this neutrality I do some progress from past 2 years.
    I don't no any practical way, but I can share how I progress in it- when we know some truths we are likely to control our feelings like em ji already mention abt karma. Soul consciousness is also one factor in it.
    If something bad happens with me before some years I likely to feel upset, worry n fear but now I don't give any attention on it believing that god will make everything right as he love me so much and if its not happen then I will accept it as will of god as I too love him so much.
    So my this faith always work and god never dispoint me never.
    Also I watch one program of awakening with bk on rajyoga in which she tell us how to remain neutral n always positive in every circumstances so it helps me lot, not forgetting bhagavad Geeta, it also helps.
    Look, for this feeling we have to change our thought process.
    Like no one is bad in nature, we are soul not mind or body, mind get angry not soul, soul is very peaceful n blissful
    Everything is happening is not bcoz of that particular person but bcoz that situation, so we have to control situation otherwise situation will control u. If u get affected by situation then ur soul power will get decrease and others will also receive same energy from u so always try to radiate positive thoughts even in worst situation as it will come to u back.
    Its not practical and u already know this but just share my view
    -pranam
    Aasato ma sat gamay
    tamaso ma jotirgamay
    mrityorma amrutamgamay
    (Bring me from asat to sat, bring me from darkness (ignorance) to light (knowledge), bring me from death to immortality)
    Om Namah Shivay
    Om Vishnave Namah

  7. #7
    Join Date
    July 2010
    Location
    The Holy Land - India
    Posts
    2,824
    Rep Power
    5430

    Re: Practical Neutrality

    Namaste,

    Quote Originally Posted by IcyCosmic View Post
    Again I am not looking for esoteric answers.....
    I am looking for mechanisms to help fend off down-moments in immediate situations................
    Fortunately in the West, family therapists are abundantly available and there is no stigma attached to seeking help from them. So, arrange to see one as soon as your means permit (health insurance may cover it too).

    Quote Originally Posted by IcyCosmic View Post
    ......it mainly stems from family problems.......fluctuation between serenity and chaos within these four-walls is occasionally a bit much to handle for me.

    I am always thinking about if other people are at ease, so much so, that I am willing to sacrifice any of my personal pleasures to make sure they are fine. This is fine to an extent but in certain situations is destructive.
    You must always consider yourself to be part of the solution and not become part of the problem. Intervene to the extent that it does not affect you. Once you can't bear it, you have gone beyond the limits of your ability to provide emotional support. You must step back in the name of self preservation. Otherwise, you become one of them; you become part of the crowd that is dysfunctional. You are no longer part of the solution and have become part of the problem.

    I feel for you. So, I repeat,


    Fortunately in the West, family therapists are abundantly available and there is no stigma attached to seeking help from them. So, arrange to see one as soon as your means permit (health insurance may cover it too).

    Pranam.
    Last edited by Believer; 03 January 2015 at 06:32 PM.

  8. #8

    Re: Practical Neutrality

    Namaste Icy,

    To address this from purely practical perspective and in light
    of your elaboration- a goodly part of the difficulty is already overcome,
    though it may not seem so; that is, you have identified the
    location/situation (that is, a feeling of being overwhelmed in the context of
    family, and the feeling of obligation toward the reassurance/emotional
    maintenance of others first). A question that can sometimes form in the
    midst of such a situation is, "Why or how is it that all these others in my
    family seem to feel perfectly free to behave/speak as they like, without
    concern for the demands or cost this imposes on others?" A factor to
    consider as well is the difference in how family members behave when there
    are no outsiders present, versus the "best behavior" seen when out in
    public, or in the presence of guests. Often, family members can and will
    "train" one over the years to respond to certain forms of pressure, without
    the recipient of this "training" even being aware of the nature and origin...
    only a growing sense of weariness as the pushing and pulling continue,
    with no sensible resolution in sight.

    The practical advice- examine each situation in which these feelings occur,
    trace the words and events which led to those feelings, and thereby grow
    proficient in seeing it coming, knowing it for what it is, and taking those
    steps by which you make it clear "I know this game. It is not a healthy
    game. For the sake of all of us, I will no longer play this game".

    There is an expression, "Feelings are not facts". This is a simple but
    practical formulation of the neutrality issue. Marketing psychology is the
    art of playing on feelings- avoiding the intellect to appeal to the heart.
    As far as possible worries of being cold/selfish etc. I have had to remind
    myself at times "Who can I help to their feet, if my own legs are broken?"

    I hope these thoughts and words have some bearing and benefit to your
    circumstances- may Devi give you strength and insight!

    JAI MATA DI
    Last edited by JaiMaaDurga; 03 January 2015 at 06:44 PM. Reason: formatting
    || जय माता की ||

  9. #9

    Re: Practical Neutrality

    Namaste

    This post may sound the most impractical answer to some, but my answer to "how to stay neutral" is this:

    Develop your personal relationship with your IshTa Dev. This is the only way all relationships, events, things of this world can be seen in relationship with this relationship.

    This is the only way I can tell that the importance of circumstantial klesha (sorrow, hardships) arising due to situations and surroundings, natures and temperaments, will diminish, and only then can you help them if you want to. Only when you are detached, and "out of it" , not "in it" or "of it"

    terA tuzko arpaN, kyA lAge merA?
    om jaya jagadeesha hare

    Whatever I perceive as mine or related to me is Yours, I offer it to You as it was never mine to begin with.
    Om, O Hari, Lord of the World(s), Glories to You
    || Shri KRshNArpaNamastu ||

  10. #10
    Join Date
    April 2012
    Location
    London, United Kingdom
    Age
    28
    Posts
    561
    Rep Power
    787

    Re: Practical Neutrality

    Namaste,

    and thankyou for all your replies. I have taken the time to read and absorb all your thoughts. I feel at ease regarding this topic now.

    That is all. Thanks.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Practical Wisdom of Vijnana Bhairava
    By yajvan in forum Tantras
    Replies: 40
    Last Post: 31 May 2015, 12:12 AM
  2. Practical Advaita
    By atanu in forum Advaita
    Replies: 116
    Last Post: 03 September 2010, 06:26 PM
  3. Practical Application
    By Darji in forum New to Sanatana Dharma
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 03 May 2010, 08:24 AM
  4. Practical example- Using Hora Calculations
    By yajvan in forum Jyotish
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 24 July 2007, 10:02 AM
  5. Dharma - a practical view
    By yajvan in forum On Dharma
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 05 May 2007, 01:34 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •