Namaskar,
The divinity in me bows to the divinity in you. I greet all of you with the utmost love.
In my studies on the glorious tradition of Sanatana Dharma I have come across a lot of philosophical teachings that seemed to make little sense to me on an intellectual level, yet they profoundly resonated with me on a deep, "heart" level. I wanted to share a recent experience of mine that further explains this phenomena.
Over the past couple weeks I had been struggling to maintain a peaceful, God-aware mind in my daily activities. It seemed as though I was forgetting everything that I had learned on the path. This was detrimental to me, and I began having very negative thoughts:
"Has all my effort been in vain?"
"Is what I'm following really 'true'?"
"Am I crazy?"
It seemed like I was reverting back to my old, materialistic self and I had no idea what to do. Why was all of this occurring? Why was I losing ground? What could save me at this point?
Well, it finally dawned on me: I was thinking too much. I was taking all the dharma teachings I had learned and I was trying to apply them to my life via the intellectual mind rather than the superconscious heart. I was thinking way too much about the philosophy of it all and I was trying to fit it into material reality and make it work, but it just ended up being an utter failure. It felt like trying to make a square block fit into a triangular hole. I would try to "bend" the square block in my mind to try to make it fit into the triangle but it just ended up completely wearing me out.
Another reason that all of this was happening was because I wasn't keeping up with my regular meditative practice. I made up excuses to not practice:
"Oh, I've got too much going on today."
"There is not enough time."
"Maybe tomorrow...maybe."
Through all of this, I truly realized how detrimental it was to not keep up with meditation everyday. I was getting so distracted with the external things and I was really falling into the intellectual mind. It was all so negative.
Then, finally, I sat.
Adorned in sacred rudraksa and blessed by purifying ghee lamps and incense, I sat in front of Siva Nataraja and Siva lingam and started focusing on my breathing. Everything ceased. Then, slowly yet spontaneously, I began:
AUM tryambakam yajamahe sugandhim pusti-vardhanam
urvarukam-iva bandhanan mrityormuksiya ma mritat
This brought me right back to center, right back to hrdayam, and all else fell away. I was completely purified; thinking and reasoning completely ceased and the only thing left was Siva. I was reminded once again of the importance of keeping up with the practice, not only for an hour or two in the morning, but at every moment of every day. Every waking minute we should be practicing. This reminded me of some teachings from Srimad Bhagavad Gita chapter 5, Verses 7-10, 21-24, 27 & 28:
"One who works in devotion, who is a pure soul, and who controls his mind and senses, is dear to everyone, and everyone is dear to him. Though always working, such a man is never entangled. A person in the divine consciousness, although engaged in seeing, hearing, touching, smelling, eating, moving about, sleeping and breathing, always knows within himself that he actually does nothing at all. Because while speaking, evacuating, receiving, opening or closing his eyes, he always knows that only the material senses are engaged with their objects and that he is aloof from them. One who performs his duty without attachment, surrendering the results unto the Supreme, is not affected by sinful action, as the lotus leaf is untouched by water.
Such a liberated person is not attracted to material sense pleasure or external objects but is always in trance, enjoying the pleasure within. In this way the self-realized person enjoys unlimited happiness, for he concentrates on the Supreme. An intelligent person does not take part in the sources of misery, which are due to contact with the material senses. O son of Kunti, such pleasures have a beginning and an end, and so the wise man does not delight in them. Before giving up this present body, if one is able to tolerate the urges of the material senses and check the force of desire and anger, he is a yogi and is happy in this world. One whose happiness is within, who is active within, who rejoices within and is illumined within, is actually the perfect mystic. He is liberated in the Supreme, and ultimately he attains the Supreme.
Shutting out all external sense objects, keeping the eyes and vision concentrated between the two eyebrows, suspending the inward and outward breaths within the nostrils--thus controlling the mind, senses and intelligence, the transcendentalist becomes free from desire, fear and anger. One who is always in this state is certainly liberated."
And although we speak of these things in an external manner, they are not understood by the external, intellectual mind. Our understanding truly comes from the heart. It is an awareness beyond awareness.
I share all of this with you in hope that it may help you along this path, not that I think anybody necessarily needs help here, but just thought I would share anyway.
May you all be blessed with love & light,
Pranam.
ॐ नमः शिवाय,
LightofOm
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