Re: Bhakti worship is not right for me
Namaste dA,
I would advise you not to imagine things and create a theory for yourself without experiencing the Truth. You are not alone seeking the Truth. Many people in the past have treaded the path leading to the Truth. If you tread the path carefully, the Truth will reveal to you too.
Swami Vivekananda was a disciple of Ramkrishna Paramhansa. Vivekananda (known as Narendra before getting dikhsA by his Guru) was skeptical on issue of God. Let me tell you that Ramkrishna experinced the Truth through Dvaita Path (i.e. God experinced differently from creation) and also through Advaita path (God and the Creation are non-different). So, before Vivekananda became his disciple, he put this question first before Ramkrishna :
"You keep talking of God. What is the proof that God exists and if It exists, have you seen God yourself ?"
Ramkrishna replied :
"Yes, I have seen God, more clearly than I see you."
Vivekananda was impressed with this confident reply but was not yet assured . He felt that this belief (of seeing God) could be his mental delusion. He challenged Ramkrishna,
"If He/She can be seen by you, He/She can be seen by me too. Can you show Him/Her to me ?"
"Of course. You appear too worried about your worldly problems. Mother (God) is inside. Go and ask her yourself.". Ramkrishna said.
Vivekananda went to room where Mother Goddess KAli image (Murti) was installed which Ramkrishna worshiped. Vivekananda didn't find the Murti (of stone ) there. It was Mother (in woman form) in flesh and blood which was lovingly smiling at him. He rubbed his eyes to make sure that it was not an illusion. It was not illusion. It was Mother in the form in which he wanted to see Her. There was no confusion at all. Vivekannada prayed to her to give him the gift of dispassion, devotion and JnAna.
Now, was the question on Advaita. Vivekananda could not believe this even after assurance/explanation from Ramkrishna, his Guru. One day, he was refuting the Advaita philosophy derisively in front of his friends in the Ashram. He was saying, "This appears to be most ridiculous to me. If Advaita is True then I, you, these cups/plates too must be God alone (they were drinking tea at that time)! How can anyone believe this ?". Incidently, Ramkrishna was passing by and he overheard this discussion and arguments of Vivekananda. He said, "You are going to experience this very soon."
During a bhajan session when Vivekananda was singing bhajan, Ramkrishna slowly came close to him and touched him with his one finger. As if a current went through the body of Vivekananda and he felt that the entire world was dissolving into him ... the earth, the planets and the stars ... everything. He got scared and cried, "What did you do to me ?". Ramkrishna said, "you are not yet ready for it. You will experience it again sometime."
Vivekananda experienced the Advaita after a long time during one of his meditation sessions.
So, logic doesn't make the Truth or alter the. Truth need not be logical as you may like it to be. Truth is what It is and is as It is. In fact. logic should borrow its strength from the Reality as It is. It doesn't need your arguments, which are all based on fallacious assumptions based on your limited experiences, to prove its existence. Experience the Truth. Don't try to assume things. Assumptions and your logic won't take you to the Truth.
******************
If you are interested, please read MAndukya Upanishad and Katha upanishad which would help you to certain extent. MAndukya Upanishad has only 12 verses and it gives the best description of the Reality/Self/Brahman which is One but apparently perceived in four parts : this Gross world (our life), the subtle world (world before birth and after death), God and the untainted un-describable Reality which cannot be given any name and is called the Turiya or the "Fourth" which is the substratum of the three parts discussed above.
OM
"Om Namo Bhagvate Vaasudevaye"
Bookmarks