Namaste LightofOM,
I feel very happy to know your spiritual experience. I had similar experiences. I too see my own body many times and even though we work, tecnhically we are not working. I think it is time to simply chant the mantra mentally and not verbally. This will help you a lot. Please get up at 3:30 if you can or as early as you can. Please chant only one mantra and not of many Gods. The reason for focusing one mantra is because even after you stop doing japa, the mantra continues in sub-conscious mind. With the experiences you have had, I am sure that you must have had this experience too - When we stop doing any work and relax, within a moment, the mantra pops-up by itself and then our mind is sucked into it. One feels peace and bliss immediately.
This experience indicates that the mantra has continued uninterruptedly though you we completely engrossed in work. I would also suggest you please chant the name atleast for 10-15 minutes before going to sleep. When you wake up, the first thought in mind is the mantra itself. IF this happens, then in sub-conscious mind, the mantra has continued by itself. If this happens, it is truly a gods grace. Continuing this way, it will help you alot during day time and the mantra will become a part of you just like you breath. I think you should gradually extend the period of meditation up to 3 hours so that your heart is absorbed in the mantra.
After chanting mantra regularly in mind, the mantra will continue by itself. Then just be aware of source of the mantra. A whole new dimension will open. You will understand which no book, no lecture can teach you, as God himself will guide you.
I like the way you pray. I did the same and even continue praying in similar way to guide me. Also please pray to Lord Balaji to accept you and please accept your surrender. Pray to him sincerely to guide you during meditation. Pray to Balaji to reveal himself to you and to 'give me what is best for me'. Let him take your decision as Balaji knows what you want. He knows your strengths and limitations, your nature, what you like and what you dislike, what is better for you and what is harmful to you. He is ready to guide,the only condition is to unconditionally surrender to the Lord and trust him. Be open for change, never believe in any dogmas. God will remove all kinds of superstitions, misconcepts and other irrelevant thoughts that are not needed.
Please chant a mantra of only one God. You may rever other Gods but chanting has to be done of only one God. Soon you will realize the benefit of one pointed devotion.
Of course music is one of the best way to a spiritual progress. It is said that it cleanses our subtle bodies, our antakaraNa, our nADI-s and chakra-s and raises kundalini at least up to heart chakra. But the core part of spiritual progress is silent meditation. There is no need of japa mAlA. There is no need to keep an account of how many times you have chanted his name
Just keep chanting.
Whatever is optional, renounce it, like watching stupid TV shows and reading newspapers. They are not always giving fair news. Instead devote more time to spiritual activities. Do not think that you are young and what will others think of you if you become 'spiritual'. Becoming spiritual is not a bad thing. You are not an drug addict that you will have to worry about others taunts.
Let them say what they wish to say, but please do not take them seriously and do not keep thinking on them as why are they behaving in this way, etc. Ignore them and avoid giving responses to them. Less we interect with them, the better, just smile and ditch them, give casual replies, but never seriously. I have also passed through this phase. There was too much opposition during my early days when my studies were going on.
Please continue on your spiritual quest and ALWAYS remember ONE thing - God exists (Balaji Exists). Always surrender to Balaji with strong faith that - 'He exists and he is in my heart'.
As I have said, initially, the chanting is done inside mind, but later it will shift to the heart. Let thought come, do not stop them, do not get irritated. Instead, just be ware of them and let them pass by. Do not get involved with them. Smoothly and silently focus on mantra and neglect thoughts. Soon their power will decrease and power of mantra will increase.
When mantra continues by itself, then just be aware of it's source i.e. from where it is orignating, where it terminates. Mantra is not God, it is it's origin. So you will be aware of mantra -- silence -- mantra -- silence. This is the true meditation, the unbroken meditation. It is prolonged awareness.
When this happens, then there is no effort on part of you. Hence time duration of japa will increase naturally. When you come out of meditation, you will be fresh. Gradually even your sleep will decrease, as you now live in presence and have little to worry about and have little or no worldly aspirations.
If you are on correct path, soon your heart will vibrate with his name. Even if you listen to any bhajan of any God, your heart will begin to vibrate with devotion.
I am very happy to hear your experience. Keep praying, keep practicing japa, keep developing dis-association, displeasure with worldly objects and matters. This can be done by knowing the futility of running behind them and always selecting God and giving God first priority then worldly matters.
Do what is compulsory, necessary for livelyhood, but never make earning your goal of life. Goal is life is to know the truth, to have divine vision of Balaji.
Keep it up. Good luck
P.S. I find is better to keep photo of God (a copy of Temple Idol of Balaji in your case) as wallpaper on my PC. It brings a smile of my face
Namaste
|| Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevay ||
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