Hari Om
Namaste JaypeeJi,
Sir, first much respect to you. Recently been through something similar only did not have very difficult decision of going to son. He is too young and probably only offer me tips on x box. Not very marketable. Think the homeless jiva on street is very private matter between them and observer regarding judging. In my experience, not proud that also thought negatively about those who had helped and where was that help in return. Am simplifying this greatly for space, but this led to me truly, not superficially, analyzing the why did I offer the help. This journey also caused me to remember where my ability to provide for said help came from. Was very humbling as you seem to well know. Very. As problems increased, moved away from Sadhana. No time. Sadhana which thought at core was biggest gift. Repeated this as well to many others and believed. When chips were down and rubber met road, abandoned it. JaypeeJI, in short, when returned to SD in sincerity, did things change. When return to practices at lowest (no sleep, could not breathe, worried, considering zero options, etc.), things changed. Only then did third options appear. Only then did walk in peace, before things turned around. Respectfully, think this is boon for you. If materialistic boon comes your way and then return to faith, what is value. From here, now that things have turned around, hope lessons do not spit upon again but only return more deeply to eternal truth. This wish for you.
Please take good care.
Om Namah Shivaya
FFTW
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