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Thread: Namaskaram

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    Namaskaram

    Namastey to everybody out there & reading this forum.

    This thread is just to introduce myself & discuss why I am here. The privacy clause of the forum asks me not to disclose any personal information. So, only things I would share is my interest in religion.

    I was born in a Hindu family in this birth & in every other religion in other birth. So, I don't feel bad about any other belief because I might have practiced it for many lives. Religion is like a ladder to me, teaches me the rights and wrongs, do's and don'ts but leaves a lot to discover, introspect & attain.

    It is said the heart of religion lies in an awakened soul, scriptures describes everything but at last they pinpoint us to search a being who can help us attaining the ever pure Self which has remained under sheaths and heaps of karma yet completely untainted.

    I developed interest in religion-stuff about 7-8 years back when whole of my family was undergoing a trouble phase & that still continues. The only difference between now and then is that now I have started accepting it & over-expectations are something that I need to get out of.

    I am basically a Hindi speaker, have very kachchi English. So, for any sort of error or misunderstanding caused due to my wrong sentence formation or not getting what other person writes, I apologize for it in advance.

    If this is a group discussion sort of thing or just a community gathering or say a strict religious forum, suggestion from experienced users would be great. Like what topics (poverty, corruption, babaism etc ) shall I not discuss or what should be the type of language?

    As the post is getting longer, I think I should stop here. I will keep sharing different facets of life that I have experienced & keep on asking about the tools (how to use them) of this website.

    Dhanyabhaag to get this plat_forum.

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    Re: Namaskaram

    Namaste,

    Welcome to the forum and thanks for the intro. and for sharing your philosophy of life.

    To answer your question, this appears to be a Sanatan Dharam religious forum with some sub-forums towards the bottom of forum listing for posting any interesting news items or to start a discussion on general Indian/Hindu issues. It might be wise to go through different threads and look at the type of threads/posts to familiarize yourself with what we talk about over here. But it definitely is not a forum for chit-chat/gossip, at least that is the way I see it. Best wishes and hope you have a pleasant stay here.

    Pranam.

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    Re: Namaskaram

    Vannakkam Follower12: Thanks for introducing yourself./ I hope your stay here is fruitful.

    Aum Namasivaya

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    Re: Namaskaram

    Namaste

    Great pieces of advice from Believer. I will avoid gossips as they are unhealthy in every way but will write posts in communicative chit-chat style. The reason for that is the reader wil not feel bored neither do I. Really, I dislike idealism when it is not implemented in an absolute way. Thankyou Believer and Eastern Mind for wishes.

    The real 'Indian culture' is vanishing. People prefer to say hi, hello to namaste or namaskar except the news readers on DD channels. Rest of them just say Good Morning or Good Evening & Afternoon without realising that they actually mean it. Its made for westerners and they do sound real when they say it. It seems westerners are going up by following their culture but Indians are just drowning themselves along with their culture.

    As there are many threads and it would take centuries to go through them. So, the experienced users are requested to guide if I ever sound wrong. Before discussing anything on religion or spirituality, I would like to throw light on my connectivity to it.

    There were/are lots and lots of problems in my family and there was/is no peace at all. We were/are living for nothing. It is only the breath that helps me survive. Getting food is equally a problem to me. I still don't get food without listening millions of slangs and abuses of parents. A deplorable condition indeed. Any other person in my situation would have committed suicide or ran away, no doubt. For example- recently my mother said to me, "You will not leave this home until you are dead. You will leave only as a dead body (corpse)." {" tumhari arthi nikalegi tabhi is ghar se bahoagey" - More realistic version in Hindi}.

    So, mine is a typical Hindu family. Very old mindset. Amidst all this, 8-9 years ago, I started reading spiritual things and found mental comfort. The family conditions kept on deteriorating to worse. I grew more introvert as I had no one to share the problems or someone who could give me motivation. But the spiritual texts supported me a lot. The drawback of reading more and more of it was that I started becoming least interested in my studies, harming the career.

    I scored good in all exams but the zeal ended somewhere and didn't want to continue the studies. After class XII (intermediate), I thought of taking vairaga considering it easy way out of everything but the horrible conditions these people(vairagi) face these days pushed me back to change the mindset though I was not at all ready for any further studies.
    My mother considered money spend on me as wastage and she lost all positivity on me. She declared, "You are not my child and I am not anyone's mother" after watching a satsang where a leader said that your children are your past accouns (enemies) and your attachment to them is of no worth-so get out of it. I still feel that the statement of leader was not wrong spiritually but should they ever make such statements so openly that it could harms or destroy someone's life? Mine is completely broken and can never ever be joined in whatsoever way you can think of.

    I cleared competitive exam and got admitted to a government college (which is hard to get into it) but left the college after 2 months as I was not ready or at all interested in the technical education at all. Hell awaited me when I returned to home. Parents kept yelling & showing the unusual 'ehsaan' that they had on me. Mother said directly that the food you eat is cooked by me, so work for me & same from father on account of money he spent on me. I was like a beggar in my home, food locked away and was given in calculated amount. [this could be one reason why India can never get out of poverty, can you think of a child who does not get a respectful morsel of food despite his father earning above 70,000 in India? well, I am the one.]

    So, I started once again preparing for competitive exam with dead mind and heart, got good marks, didn't select good college & got admitted to a local institute. I told my father that I was least interested and didn't see a good career coming out of it & that the money (overall fees= 5 lac) would get wasted, so don't spent, save it and let me sort myself first. No heed to it.

    I never studied during graduation except on last day before exams. Scored well but it was completely meaningless. I had nothing in my mind after taking exams. Total flop. People call likes of me, I think, a looser or kapoot- atleast that is what my mother calls me.

    .......................will be continued in next post.

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    Re: Namaskaram

    After graduating, I kept on searching for a job but the basic problem I faced in every interview was the lack of confidence to express myself for something that I didn't want to do whole my life & was, thus, stuck in decision making. I am still stuck with same problem. I don't want to lie in interview when they ask why I wanted that job, or similar queries. To say, "This is my dream to do that job, to become so and so, to see myself as xyz in next 5 years," would be total lie to them. So, how can I come out of this dilemma? What shall I do to get job? Any suggestion regarding how to be realistic and not manipulating people to get my means?

    Back to religion. I kept on reading spiritual texts & meditation techniques. But whenever I tried meditation, something bad happened like inflation of ego & increase in maladjustment with people of this generation as they are chocolaty in all ways, whether their talks, walks, lifestyle or anything. There were also certain subtle things that started happening during sleep like extreme tightening of jaws, out of body experiences, etc. These all never happened before. I got a bit scared of meditation and I also didn't have any guru who could guide me. There were also some good experiences when I meditated,something surreal in nature.

    I watched the satsang of DadaBhai foundation occasionally. It was helpful to some extent in understanding my situation but there was no relief from family turmoils. Finally, when I was in third year of graduation, I took Gyan under the grace of Pujyashri Deepakbhai & it was a very simple process of self realization. From then on, I have felt absence of all worries. Problems keep on arising & leaving, some get solved, most do not but that does not trembles me the way it did previously. I would say everyone should take this Gyan which is so helpful internally. All I want is liberation as soon as possible and help as many people as I can to achieve same.

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    Re: Namaskaram

    Namaste Follower ji,

    I add my welcome to those above. I hope you find your stay here helpful.
    It's true that there is so much here that it will take a long time to read it all, but let me encourage you to still search and read threads in areas of your interest. It is beyond words how worth it reading the years and breadth of wisdom laid here can be to anyone who takes the time to look.
    Quote Originally Posted by follower12 View Post
    I was like a beggar in my home, food locked away and was given in calculated amount. [this could be one reason why India can never get out of poverty, can you think of a child who does not get a respectful morsel of food despite his father earning above 70,000 in India? well, I am the one.]
    I do not wish to lessen or invalidate the level of your hurt, and I recognize that your situation could be described as abusive. However, I want to let you know you are not alone anywhere in the world. Here in the US, things can often be much the same, even among upper middle-class families. A very close friend of mine and her brother were both kicked entirely out of their homes at the age of 16. She came home from school one day to find her parents throwing her things out of the window - they wouldn't let her in to even get any belongings they didn't toss. This is actually illegal in this country, Children are lawfully meant to be supported by parents until age 18, but that rarely stops these kinds of things from happening. She did nothing wrong to deserve such treatment, she just had the misfortune of having an abusive addict for a mother and an enabler for a father.

    My own parents and my mother's best friend and her husband are among those who let children stay in their home after age 18, but the child must work on top of school so they can pay rent in their parents' home and buy and cook their own meals - or if they wish to be included in the family meal they must pay for their share of it. (In my own home, I was making most of my own meals and eating on my own by the time I was 13. And my family is upper-middle class too) Yet the child may not treat the home as a boarding house or an apartment/room lease, we all still had to abide by the rules of our parents. Here public school goes until age 18 and then many children go to Colleges. Even boys are expected to progressively leave the home as young adults and make their own way in the world as adults. There is no such family support with generations living together along the male line, as in Vedic cultural ideals. None of us saw this as unfair in the least, at least not that I'm aware of. There are those who do not let their children stay in the home at all after age 18, and those who refuse to help their children pay for university or vocational education at all. There are also many of the opposite extreme, paying for everything and allowing the children to come home and stay for nothing during vacations and sometimes even during school if the school is nearby enough. It is what it is, there are all types in this world. If you can imagine it, it exists somewhere - probably in most places to one degree or another. So while I'm sad to hear of your experience, it isn't surprising to me. For what it's worth, this happens everywhere in the world and you're not alone. But all things happen for a reason, and must have helped to guide you to the better. Perhaps in some ways you won't notice for many years.
    To say, "This is my dream to do that job, to become so and so, to see myself as xyz in next 5 years," would be total lie to them. So, how can I come out of this dilemma? What shall I do to get job? Any suggestion regarding how to be realistic and not manipulating people to get my means?
    It's a very rare thing that any of us get to even interview for our dream job. And whatever job that may be, the dream often changes throughout different stages of life, so it may not be a dream job after a while.

    I can't speak for you, but what I have always looked for in a job is how I can better serve and help others and Society. That is what I speak to when I have been in an interview situation. In the retail management position I had years ago, my goal was to better the customer's experience and serve in such a way that it could make a customer's life a little brighter for having visited my store. In healthcare Administration and later healthcare IT it is to further care and treatment of patients. There is always some way you can find to help others in most positions.

    ~Pranam
    Last edited by Aanandinii; 30 June 2015 at 01:09 PM. Reason: typo correction
    ~~~~~
    What has Learning profited a man, if it has not led him to worship the good feet of Him who is pure knowledge itself?
    They alone dispel the mind's distress, who take refuge at the feet of the incomparable one.
    ~~Tirukural 2, 7

    Anbe Sivamayam, Satyame Parasivam

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    Re: Namaskaram

    Namaste,


    Dhanyawaad Anandinii ji for all suggestions, you mentioned in the post, regarding life & interviews. It was very supportive, positive, realistic and something that I can easily relate to. Yes, you are absolutely right that I am not the only victim and there are many undergoing even much severe conditions. I think that the only thing that had hurt me is my over-expectation from parents that if they don't know how to be good to me, at least they shouldn't be bad as I have not done anything wrong to them. May be, it is just a normal expectation or indeed an expectation which should be abandoned completely.


    Though I understand the severity (for me it doesn't sound as a simple thing) of what you and your friend went through, I still find it difficult to accept that harshness towards children in an open society like Americans. It is good to make children self dependent and make them learn the survival instincts but not in that way. Still, I would prefer to get kicked out of home, not abused continuously & earn my living independently. The drawback of what I have seen throughout past 8-9 years is that I have lost respect for all elders. I know all are not alike that but I just cannot feel it anymore. I find kids best & million times better than peers or elders.


    People here, in India, or at least in the place where I had been ever, are more show-off type. They would beat their children, abuse them inside home but still stand up for each other outside (due to so called attachment) or they do show it off to the society that everything in their family is going well and good. To me, it appears more like a deception.


    Deception reminds me of another phase of my life, indeed a short one. I joined Brahmakumaris in search of peace but they are bigger cons than anyone you could imagine. If there is a threat to Hinduism, it is Brahmakumaris. They propagate beliefs which are against Hinduism, though they have formed an image in media that what they preach is Hinduism. It will take a separate thread to throw light on what I heard & was told to accept there. I left this organisation soon after finding too many unacceptable motives of Brahmakumaris. I bet most of people here must be unaware of the real face of Brahmakumaris. It will more interesting how people receive Brhmakumaris' real beliefs here.


    Pranaam.

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    Re: Namaskaram

    Namaste

    Sorry for posting this thread in a wrong sub-section of forum. It should have been in introduction part.

    I wish to express my opinions about Brahmakumaris as I feel somewhere they are a great harm to one who is following Hindu religion. Many of my friends(strong Hinduism followers) are stuck there and from Hindu being, they have been turned into atheists praying humans who have declared themselves as Gods. I will talk about it in polite way & possibly you can always guide me where I should stop or edit. But please consider it seriously. There is something that needs to be communicated on my part to create awareness.

    Pranam

  9. #9

    Re: Namaskaram

    Namaste Follower 12 Ji,

    A heartbreaking and saddening story of yours.This is what life can be.I would welcome you to this forum and I hope you find peace here.
    Talking about the things you have faced.Well there is a saying "What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger."All the things you have faced in life and continue to till this day will make you stronger.People always bow to the Rising Sun.No one bows to a Fading star.The people,your friends and peers will like you till you are in a high status but soon turn on you when you are vulnerable.That is what it is all about these days.

    Just wanted to share something with you after your story.I myself was a Loner kind of a guy.Well I wasn't always this way. I tried to be social and what I understood was.I used to attach myself with that person so much that when they pained me I went emotional.I was a very sensitive kind of a guy who would get emotional if the person told me something I didn't expect from him.As I said,I attached myself very emotionally with anyone I talked or got to know.I got pained many times and so I preferred being a loner.I am very quiet from my childhood I don't talk too much.I am a introvert as you are.I care about people around me but I always feel that the way I behave with others they don't reciprocate that way.I have become like a Rock, a Stone with no attachment or emotion.But sometimes this solitude made me cry.

    So, you know what I did.I started finding my peace on the Supreme One,Shri Krishna.He is now my best friend on Earth.I know that he will never turn on me like some others did.I know that I can tell him anything I want to share.I know he will be always there for me.He will never go away from his Partha.Even though,he will test us but he will definitely answer though it will take some time.But he will answer.So,I will just say that please don't get disheartened.I shall suggest you too to find peace in someone who will be always there with you.You may not be able to see him but you know he is there.Speak to him.Pray to him.He is your friend.Just like I and many of us do.You said that you are an introvert and so am I.It is due to Shri Krishna's grace/kripa that nowadays I feel like I don't need anything like new things or anything.I am satisfied with what I have.Also after doing any work,I nowadays don't attach myself with the result of it.Like what will happen,will it be successful or not.As Shri Krishna said in the Geeta.Also,I have no emotion towards anything in relation to me,it is his blessings.And so I am devoted to him because I know that he will always be their for his Partha(s).


    Dhanyavad
    Hari bol

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    Re: Namaskaram

    Namaste Abhishek ji,

    Thankyou so much for your heartwarming concern and welcome. You are very true when you say, " What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger." It is so true. I have experienced it. There was time when I thought of no purpose of my life and you know what goes on in such a mind.

    Your early state resembled totally to that I had for 10 years except for last 2 years. I remained as such a orthodox and an introvert person that I never mingled with even good people around due to fear of getting the bad response similar to what you have faced. Actually, there was a time when I was like.....my share of abuse has to over now and if that means talking to nobody, then let it be like that. Music has always by my side to give some mental relief but there is an extent to it also. It cannot give everlasting peace as I has to step out and do the essentials responsibilities too.

    Then I started reading spiritual things and religious stories, it interested me and somewhere guided me. It kept on going for 6-7 years and I started getting weaker in studies and least interested in what I shouldn't be. One reason for it was also that I felt no attachment to anyone, not even parents or sibling or myself (though there was always respect for them but the attachment vanished to a great extent) & when you are not attached to anybody, the material prospect of life starts weakening. I thought, "why shall I run after money or job or marks? IS it going to be with me after this life? How stable could I be even after attaining them? IS life not too short to seek material pleasures?......." and so on the negativity continued. Though all questions were valid but they took me in a wrong direction i.e., away from my basic undeniable responsibilities towards everyone.

    The best part of such thought process was that I motivated myself to attain self realization at any cost in this birth. For that, I thought of leaving home at the age of 17 & go to some highly evolved sages but somewhere I knew that it is not right way except for few. [As one must bring an end to worldly life with equanimity before going to Sanyas, not just out of zeal of thoughts]. So, I kept on looking & searching such people who can give self realization presently.

    One such personality was Shri Nirmala Devi, who had Siddhi to open Sahasra Chakra & make one self realized. Unfortunately, it always remained a distant opportunity to attend her Satsang. Once, there was a Self realization programme of her but I got to know about it after the destined date. Also, she passed away.

    Then there was Shri YogaAcharya B.K.S.Iyengar ji who was the most motivating person for me. The way he attained Self realization & then granted that to his followers in a much easier way by Patanjali Yoga & Hatha Yoga practise was very astonishing. The problem was that none of his institute is in North India. Again a distance problem.

    Finally, on 27 October 2013, a Gyan Vidhi programme was organised by Dada Bhagwan Foundation in a region near to my proximity and fortunately I reached there on time. Within 2 hours, I got Self Realization. It is Akram Vigyan Path, which opens up once in every 10 lakhs years. It is known as Vihangika Maarg in Vedanta terminology. For me, nothing could be that shortcut as it is. It takes millions of years to get self realization through meditation as mistakes keep on happening by a normal seeker & I got it wihin 2 hours. That was first time, I felt the real presence of Devs & Devis near to me. Today, I pray that may everyone attain what I achieved without any gross effort.

    What lead me to the spiritual path was all the circumstances I faced. If I had received joy and happiness from everyone, everywhere, then I would not have even thought of going toward dharm and adhyatm. Making God as close friend is a great idea you have given to me. Your love for Shri Krishna Bhagwan inspires me a lot. Lord Simandhar Swami, Dada Bhagwan, Lord Krishna, Lord Ganesha, Sai baba, Ma Durga, Bhagwan Shiv & Ma Sarswati have always shown me the right path & have supported mysteriously.

    My wavering faith, lack in Nishchay & forgetfulness are the three reasons that I think are wholly responsible for my sufferings. Why to blame parents who have done so much for me, I should not care for the ill words & ignore them. It is rightly said, "When you question your parents, you question whole faith you have in anyone." Same thing happened to me. I want to correct it from the scratch but fail to muster courage as it always reminds me of all failed attempts. There was a time, when my mother said, " Don't sit near to me & don't talk about your things. I don't feel interested." If I ever sat on the bed to talk to her, she would remove the sheet & wash it way. How rejected I felt then. Many worse things happened continuously.

    Best way for me to get rid of it was to start forgetting, washing the memory & replacing it with blank space, meditation, swadhyaya & music. I did it & now I don't feel anything at all.

    What I have described about my mother above can give a perception of her as some evil person. But actually she is not. She is a great Bhakt of all Gods and went through a lot right from her childhood & that disturbed her circumstantially always.
    Once, she went too deep in Bhakti & that for 3 continuous days , she had direct darshan of Lord Shiva's trinetra(3 eyes) & one vision of full Brahmaswaroop & half vision of Lord Vishnu's charan(feet). She is very blessed indeed, more than me. No one gets that darshan just like that. When she had this darshan, I was religiously immature and thought she was making a story. Even I said to her on first day of all 3 days," You have gone mad, go and see some psychiatrist." She had same darshan on next day also. To confirm what it is , she went mandirs & asked pujari ji.He couldn't tell what it was but suggested her to place an idol of Lord Shiva in Mandir. She did same on third day after which the vision vanished. Its actually very interesting and surreal incident about which I will elaborate later. But this particular incident pushed me to look into what all these things are supposed to be.

    I shall suggest you too to find peace in someone who will be always there with you.
    Luckily, I found it. Soul always remain with us whether we do good or bad. After self realization, Shri Krishna Bhagwan lives inside me, his presence can be felt. The pratiti is always there whether i do good or bad. The real meaning of " Being one with Bhagwan" has become so clear to me now. I experience him but never spoke to him with Bhakti or shraddha. There were internal informal communication between him and me but I spoke more than him & listened less, if listened, i didn't follow him. I did more cheap things like" saying to God that if I have ever loved you sincerely fulfil abc xyz wish directly or indirectly. It got fulfilled & I kept on exploiing my faith like this till it turned zero. Now only sub-standard shabdbrahm (a dry form of Bhakti or bhakti without much faith) remains with me.

    Somewhere I need to sort it out like you did it. You are very blessed to have him so close. My bhakti got eroded through the past phase. That could be a reason why I am not able to dervie more even after taking Gyan. May Bhagwan Krishna guide me.

    Pranaam.

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