Loneliness...

[Webimpulse]

Namaste all,

I don't remember if I posted about this issue before...please pardon this post if you've heard this from me previously.

I'm going to talk about myself again. This won't be whiny and self-absorbed in my own despair, I promise. But this post will deal with a real problem I face.


That problem is loneliness.


I was reminded of my loneliness when I watched a video by the YouTube channel Epified on a particular chapter of the ancient Indian epic the Mahabharata. More specifically, a chapter where the character Kunti uses a mantra to summon gods, who subsequently give her children who would later become the main characters of the epic:


http://youtu.be/T8K7GsC_wk8


I'm not sure why, but this episode just reminded me of my own loneliness. I just about cried over it.


I'm trying to be more social. I'm trying to make friends and meet people who I get along with. But for some reason it's never enough. I always crave more company. But I don't know the first thing about getting whatever company will rid me of my lonely feelings once and for all.


What would get rid of this loneliness? What would eliminate this malaise from my soul for good? More friends? Romantic company? Just being closer to where I can walk to social events? I honestly don't know.


I'm reminded of a song by the Chemical Brothers called "Alive Alone," with these lyrics:


"I'm alive / and I'm alone
And I never wanted to be either of those"


Thanks to the help I've gotten over the years (especially from my Hindu friends), I want to be alive now more than I ever have been.


But do I have to be alone?

[Anirudh]

Namaste Friend

Loneliness is the false impression created by your mind because you wanted it to. Educate your mind that you aren't alone. The room/apartment I live atleast has one or two resident insects, few visitors like mosquitoes innumerable living things which my eyes can't see.

More importantly Sriman Naaraayan is every where. The purpose of Narsimha Avtar is to make us realize that Sriman Naaraayan is residing even in a pillar which we consider as lifeless. It's very easy to write what I have written.

But please remember that everything has fixed beginning and ending. It's true the cycle continues. But again understand that every cycle has a beginning and ending....

I am writing this because Sriman Naaraayan taught me through various experiences. Every experience made me stronger and wiser. Even then I at times grumble like a child. But that's OK.

There should be room for improvement.

[bhaswathy]

Dear friend ,
loneliness is a state of mind . Even in the company of close relatives and friends , one can feel lonely.You can turn in to solitude by concentrating on things which give joy and contentment ,such as contemplation , music , painting , writing ,or reaching out to those who are in` need with out getting personal.

[yajvan]

hariḥ oṁ
~~~~~~
namasté


1st and foremost - I do not have an answer to your (perceived ) problem... yet have a few spurious thoughts on this matter.

Somewhere along life's experience some one has convinced us that loneliness is some unfavorable condition. I think not. I myself
look for this. Not as a blemish but as a chance for being alone.

Also when one says 'I am lonely' - I'd ask who is saying this ? Who is this 'I' that pretends to be lonely ?

"All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” ― Blaise Pascal

iti śivaṁ

[Anirudh]

namaste Yajvan ji

Can you tell what Blaise Pascal is conveying through his quote. My belief is we aren't alone even if we lock ourselves in a no man island.

So I couldn't understand why a person should learn to stay alone when such a thing isn't possible. Our mind gets into conversation with itself when we are awake and don't converse with the rest of the world. And the generated thought can reach to the recipient who is inclined to listen.


PS: I ain't trying to hijack this thread. I wish to know if we can ever be alive as well as lonely?

hariḥ oṁ
~~~~~~
namasté


1st and foremost - I do not have an answer to your (perceived ) problem... yet have a few spurious thoughts on this matter.

Somewhere along life's experience some one has convinced us that loneliness is some unfavorable condition. I think not. I myself
look for this. Not as a blemish but as a chance for being alone.

Also when one says 'I am lonely' - I'd ask who is saying this ? Who is this 'I' that pretends to be lonely ?

"All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” ― Blaise Pascal

iti śivaṁ

[yajvan]

hariḥ oṁ
~~~~~~
namasté

namaste Yajvan ji

Can you tell what Blaise Pascal is conveying through his quote ?

It is my opinion he is suggesting that being at peace with yourself, as demonstrated by being content with sitting quietly, is of high merit.
That one does not need to be entertained/amused perpetually. It is the notion of a balanced rago-guna within one's being. That it ( rago-guna)
is not the driver... that sattva-guna ( balance, ease, purity, easiness ) is being establish.

Look at our world today... many do not step 10 ft. ( 10 meters) without looking for a text message, a email, some news on their phones, tablets, etc.
The mind that is in constant motion, the expression of rago-guna. The mind likes and grows on change, on differences, on more, on amusement, on ( _________fill in the blank).
It this a bad thing? In and of itself no, the mind does, and is catapulted by its nature - by past impressions ( vasana-s).
Yet what is this capricious mind looking for ? More happiness, more contentment...
It continues to look outside of itself and the upanishads are quite clear on this matter: Finite things do not contain happiness. What is finite here?
Anything that has a beginning and an end - houses, cars, people, places, food, mountains, bikes, ( ______ once more, fill in the blank).

Hence the wisdom offered by Messier Pascal. It is simple and spot on ( in my humble opinion).

So , now what does one do... I am going to set-down and be quite. I am going to pretend to be satiated by sattva guna. One cannot pretend . Maybe for
a hour, a day, a week... yet it is pretending. It is not the real thing. It is the mule pretending to be the stallion.
So, what is one to do ? Find out the way to infuse/unfold more of your core nature - pure awareness¹. Then real blossoming occurs.

iti śivaṁ
1. pure awareness - see this HDF post: http://hindudharmaforums.com/showthread.php?14309-The-formless-truth-of-Lord-Shiva , post 9 & 10.

[Anirudh]

Namaste Yajvan ji

Thanks for that link and the explanation. I might end up derailing this thread if I continue to make queries on the explanation given there.

However feel that there should be a logical end to my question so that when an another member read this chain he gets to know the crux of this discussion.

Assuming pure awareness is the final destination or the state we are suppose to operate from, then how / why we can or should pretend to be quite or alone?

There's a constant flow (thoughts actions reactions counter reactions) that can't be stopped. Sun moves earth moves and so are the flow of thoughts. Taming thought(s) is also a continuous action.

Is pure awareness an ability to feel "as it is" without trying to judge or differentiate. If so there is an effort to tame or do something (or do not do something) then how can it be unadulterated?. Where is "purity" of pure awareness here?

let's keep this discussion at one end without complicating further.

Now assume an unlawful event occurs. Though we can argue whether that event was natural or no, for the purpose of discussion we won't. what is expected out of a person operating from pure consciousness in this situation. Do nothing ... that's really bad. isn't it?

Or act according to the need. If then isn't that person differentiating?

Now we also add another question here. Is that person alone?

There's another important point that I intentionally didn't discuss. What is unlawful or how can an event be artificial (non natural)? Every action is real in its own framework. Isn't it?

Putting everything in one slide or one canvas or a complete view, I will stop.

[yajvan]

hariḥ oṁ
~~~~~~
namasté

Namaste Yajvan ji

Thanks for that link and the explanation. I might end up derailing this thread if I continue to make queries on the explanation given there.

However feel that there should be a logical end to my question so that when an another member read this chain he gets to know the crux of this discussion.

Assuming pure awareness is the final destination or the state we are suppose to operate from, then how / why we can or should pretend to be quite or alone?

There's a constant flow (thoughts actions reactions counter reactions) that can't be stopped. Sun moves earth moves and so are the flow of thoughts. Taming thought(s) is also a continuous action.

Is pure awareness an ability to feel "as it is" without trying to judge or differentiate. If so there is an effort to tame or do something (or do not do something) then how can it be unadulterated?. Where is "purity" of pure awareness here?

let's keep this discussion at one end without complicating further.

Now assume an unlawful event occurs. Though we can argue whether that event was natural or no, for the purpose of discussion we won't. what is expected out of a person operating from pure consciousness in this situation. Do nothing ... that's really bad. isn't it?

Or act according to the need. If then isn't that person differentiating?

Now we also add another question here. Is that person alone?

There's another important point that I intentionally didn't discuss. What is unlawful or how can an event be artificial (non natural)? Every action is real in its own framework. Isn't it?

Putting everything in one slide or one canvas or a complete view, I will stop.

You have asked very relevant questions. May I suggest we do not derail this string. Please start a new one under the proper folder of your choice ( new to sanatana dharma or
perhaps yoga or philosophy would be my choices).

Yet that said, let me answer one question you have posited and will follow up in depth ( as needed) on the new string you create.

You mention,

Assuming pure awareness is the final destination or the state we are suppose to operate from

This ~state~ of pure awareness when stable in our awareness becomes the platform for more blossoming.
First we come to know ourselves ( SELF, Being, home of śiva) then this SELF/Being expands and we see it in our environment.
Then this too grows and we see nothing but our SELF (śiva) everywhere. There is no long two. The undifferentiated awareness
expands and extends every where... this is pure growth, pure being everywhere, without an edge or end to it.
this is the ~final~ destination.
Again this takes some getting use to as we are so sure of what we see now ( multiplicity, duality), we think if we see it it must be true.
Yet there is more to the story. And by His Grace it comes ( for some) a little at a time, for others a bit more, and for some in one swoosh.
This I must admit I have not seen ( one swoosh ) but only talked to one person that had this experience.

iti śivaṁ

[Anirudh]

Namaste Yajvan ji

Thanks for the reply.

It's a good idea to create a new thread and ask detailed questions without worrying about going off the topic. I will do that tonight (in the philosophy sub section) and inform you. The goal of that discussion will be to explore how Hindu philosophy helps us to deal with day today challenges including the perceived one in OP.

You have asked very relevant questions. May I suggest we do not derail this string. Please start a new one under the proper folder of your choice ( new to sanatana dharma or
perhaps yoga or philosophy would be my choices).

[ShivaFan]

I am very sorry for your loneliness. I have an idea! Do you play any musical instrument? Such as guitar? You should compose your own bhajan, perhaps to Lord Caitanya or Lord Hanuman, and sing it even if in simple English. If you do not know any instrument, you might consider music lesson if you can afford. Or any simple instrument, even a drum. Sing and even perhaps record your song and share it on the internet. Then go to the temple! Also even if I am not there, you can count me as a friend.