I have been drawn to the idea of Shiva for the last few years. Moment I turned to Him, my life has taken a turn.
Not that I do not feel low at times and worry about the past and other things but some things are going well.
2 years ago, when I was distraught about my future, I had the sudden urge to pray to Kala Bhairava on Kala Bhairava Ashtami.
My Boss at a global company, where I had done a trainee ship called me back and offered me an opening! Things got better from there more or less. I also found a person I would like to spend the rest of my life with.
But recently, I was informed that they might not retain me. From what I understood, one of the senior managers wants to bring in people from his country blatantly and for that he wants to chop off my connection. I am not sure how much support he has received from the top level people but the main point is that he is adamant about this. He says, the company should do the work necessary and cut off other activities.My Boss is fighting to keep me on different terms but he did say I should look for other things.
The place where I live is not very open to foreigners and it is close to impossible that any other company will sponsor my visa.I was also counting on my spouse being able to join my on my visa and being able to continue here.It will a mountain task to make sure that me and my spouse will make it back here. My future again seems bleak. I wanted to give my children a good future here. Now, I am scared whatever I built in the last few years will turn to nothing me and my spouse will have to start from scratch. That thought scares me so much and depresses me.
How can I expect my spouse to find employment here without any standing here.What I do now? I prayed to Kala Bhairava. I don't expect things to turn around in one day but things do not seem to be proceeding well
What do I do? I have trusted Shiva once and I would do it again but the time aspect worries me as does the future.
Any insights on developing a deeper connection with Shiva or Kala Bhairava?
I know I should stay upbeat and hope He helps me but I am not able to