Dear members of HDF,

I have read these forums for several months now, although my interest in Dharma is several years older than that. I'd like to give my background story and then ask a few questions, as I would really love the advice of someone who has been through this before.

I have spent the majority of the past few years as an atheist, not really giving any interest to the idea of a personal god, but also flirting with Buddhism and the more modern interpretations of Advaita Vedanta (often dubbed "neo-advaita"). I always thoroughly enjoyed reading the Upanishads, and with a background and interest in meditation I was left with (at best) this image of god as an all pervading force; the substance in which the world exists. I had a brief encounter with the books and teachings of the ISKCON movement, but it all felt hard to believe, particularily the stories of God in the Bhagavatam and whatnot. I do feel an attraction to Krishna in many ways, however I can't bring myself to believe the stories as they feel the same way greek mythology does to me.

Lately, I feel that although God may be ultimately beyond any particular form , that wouldn't necessarily exclude him from exhibiting qualities that are personal in nature. This God may appear as any number of the forms that we come to worship today, yet there is only this one supreme reality, and everything exists within that.

I have come to understand that deep down there is a part of me that wants a relationship with God, and I want to nourish this and experience it's truth for myself. I have a lot of attraction to certain images of God in Hindu Dharma, and yet I am unsure how to continue. I would love to hear from those who were in a similar situation as myself and later found a path/practice that led somewhere.

I am open to all advice, and certainly the suggestion of certain teachers or Gurus who you think I may benefit from hearing. May you all be well!

- LG