Kindly request you to help me understand a dream of Lord Muruga in my life.
I am very confused because of it.
To give more context,
As a kid, my mother used to make me goto nearby Muruga temple everyday.
Growing up He was my Ishta devata.
For the past few years,I prayed to any deity depending on the temple closest to me.
Nowadays,I am generally attached to a God for sometime and
then somehow my mind gets attached to another God.
I always get confused about my Ishta Devata due to my own inconsistent nature.
Very recently, a dream of Muruga occurred .
At that time,I was not praying to any God for months then
due to frustration of not getting a better job,personal life issues ,etc.( kamya bhakthi I admit).
That week,me and my wife were wondering if she might be pregnant.
In my dream that early morning, He almost angrily said "Naan endha roobathula nalum irupen(I will be in any form)"
and pointed to me some cooked rice(puliodharai or some flavoured rice,not sure) and I woke up.
That day we confirmed that she was pregnant.
What does the dream mean? It was not a total surprise that she was pregnant.
But the dream kind of seemed connected to it though I dont understand it.
Also,I wasnt even thinking about any God for months then.
I feel very thankful but honestly,also very burduned thinking whether the baby is a blessing and would I be worthy enough.
I get guilty when I dont take of my wife sometimes. I dont know what I should be doing.
Also,Nowadays when I pray to other deities I feel a bit guilty that I am not praying to Muruga.
I am not getting great bhakthi to Muruga either
but to some other deities which also changes all the time.
Please help me.