Namaskāra everyone...

I've been away for a long time... Over a year, I think. I've done a lot of reading, and thinking, and experiencing. I remember some of the first posts I made here that was made without knowledge of any of the texts, like ātmā bodha, tattva bodha, āṣṭāvakra gītā, dṛg dṛśya viveka, Bhagavad Gītā, etc., which I have read since then.

It took time for me to realize that the closest alignment I have of my knowledge is with Śaivism, and probably specifically Kaśmiri Śaivism. I have been reading the Śiva Sūtras, and I have been seeing some of the things I revealed in those first posts in the book. I have looked at the first few pages of the Spandakārikā, but was interrupted by a busy work schedule until recently. And to go back to basics even further, I'm reading an introduction book to Kaśmiri Śaivism in order to get into my head what this is about, and go beyond it to experience it.

My question at this time is, "What will happen to me when I have read and experienced the Śaivite texts?" I am looking for a way, or to ascertain, whether it is realistic and possible for me to control my world to the extent that things start disappearing from it, as in one day, I realize that I haven't seen something for several weeks, and I look around for it in stores, in public, and I ask people where can I find it, and they ask me, "Church? What is that?" Or destructive technologies start disappearing, like many kinds of weapons, "I'm sorry, a missile. Ummm, what is that?" And how about adharmic people, "Felderson... Hmmm, who is that again?" It's as if not only the things disappear, but any memories or knowledge of them in people around you disappears, too.

Is ANYTHING like this possible? If not, then please help me understand what is possible and reasonable as a result of learning the texts pertaining to Śaivism. I know it sounds like a stupid question, but I am leaving NO STONE unturned...

Praṇāma...