Re: Spiritual confusion
Namaste Ametyst
All you wrote could have been written by me! I also had this confusion. But it was a confusion because I thought only one path can be the right one, that there is a must for choosing one path only and I have to decide to be a Shaiva or a Vaishnava.
Like you I was attracted by Shiva, the Upanishads and Advaita Vedanta. I joined various groups, but none satisfied me. They were interested in so called Yoga to heal body problems and/or in so called Vedanta to heal psychic problems. There was no interest in Vedic scriptures.
Then suddenly Krishna came into my life and turned it upside down. His gift was mythology and the epics. I never would have read Mahabharata, what would I have missed. For me Advaita is the most exalted scripture for the spiritual path, Mahabharata for life in samsara.
I joined a Gaudiya group and made the same experience as you did - spiritual dictatorship. Dispraising all other ‚Gods‘ and all other modes of thought.
I see no conflict in combining Advaita and a personal God. Advaita does not deny the world of names and forms, it only sets them to their right place in the overall context.
Thus don’t worry about the butterthief … the butter is a metaphor. Krishna is a thief, stealing the hearts of His devotees. The butter is the metaphor for the heart. The Gopis are the souls longing for their source. I never met anyone who is able to decipher the myths. I am sure this knowledge and ability have been lost.
It was a long process to realize that I have to go my way alone, because my needs and my understanding are different to others and destiny did not let me find someone who has the same approach I have.
And I realised that there is no need for one path only. Sometimes I am in the mood to read wisdom, sometimes I am in the mood to read myths. Ganesha, Shiva, Krishna … they are the One, named with many names.
Krishna guided me to get a broad overview on Hindu wisdom. In the West we find more or less only ISKCON/Gaudiya literature, they are just a particle of the vast ocean of Hindu wisdom, poetry, myths … may be you like the Alwars or the Nayanars or Tulsidas or Jayadeva’s Gita Govinda or Gyaneshwar’s Changdev Pasashti, an Advaita work. Shiva Svarodaya, Ribhu Gita, Basavanna’s Vachana Sahitya, just to mention some. Endless variety of gems … one more beautiful than the other.
And yes, we lack what Hindus get with the mother’s milk. But I never forget the words of a priest long, long ago: ‚To come in touch with Hinduism is a grace.‘ I am so grateful for this grace. Be grateful too and enjoy what others can not even dream of!
Pranam
Dance with Shiva - live with Shiva - merge with Shiva
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