Changing Gurus?

**devisarada** · 12 September 2007, 03:00 PM

Originally Posted by meez

Would it be too awkward to bring this up to him and explain your concerns? I ask because I certainly understand how these situations can be fragile.

I've already told him that these things make me feel uncomfortable.

**Eastern Mind** · 12 September 2007, 04:43 PM

I think others gave great answers to this very seeking question. It would cause a lot of reflection for me. How long have you been a devotee of this particular guru? In other words, there is loyalty, and if the differences are relatively minor... well. I would sit back and watch how others are treated, if there is any room for disagreement, and look closely at the nature of the relationship. I think there are good dharma teachers who you can learn a lot from on an intellectual level, and then there are satgurus who do most of their teaching from the inside, and can answer your questions and provide guidance without you even knowing it, on so many levels. In the end, only you can answer your own question. No one else is there, and has had your experiences, and in my experience, experience itself is THE great teacher. My guru often said "go lean on your own spine." which pretty much sums up my thoughts.

**yajvan** · 12 September 2007, 05:45 PM

Hari Om
~~~~~

Namaste,
A few thoughts on this, if you are open to it....

"We do not see things as they are. We see them as we are." ...The Talmud

Now what does the wise also say?

'Some people say that having taken a guru you should not make another. But this doctrine is not of the shaastra, this is [just] mind's imagination. The guru is gone to for happiness. Up until when bhagavad (God, Vishnu, Shiva) is gained, up until then you can go and change guru. So then we haven't seen any guru-bhakt (devotee) always studying in the same 'class' of a guru out of fear. Actually it is natural to transfer 'class' and to transfer guru. It is not disrespectful to the former guru, actually respect has been done the guru, but if you are to go beyond that study, you get the discipline of new gurus.'... Brahmanda Saraswati, Shankarachara of Jyotir Matt, 1941 to 1953

**sm78** · 13 September 2007, 02:02 AM

I may have little to add here, but traditionally it is believed that it is the Guru Parampara and the entire Guru Mandala whom we should look at and not the present Guru.

If the parampara is a siddha guru parampara like that of the smarta sampradaya then confusion about the present guru will be easily overcome.

Individual guru's whose spiritual origins are not disclosed, are not the type of Gurus one should seek in the path of Sanatana Dharma ~ even if he actually appears as powerful and Charismatic as God.

This my bottom line. I have strong "desire" to be initiated into the Sri Vidya. And I have made my mind, that I will do so only from someone of the Gaudapadiya sampradaya ~ which starts from Bhagvan Narayana himself. The person who initiates me can be a sadhak and not a siddha, but from this sampradaya.

**meez** · 13 September 2007, 08:55 AM

Originally Posted by devisarada

I've already told him that these things make me feel uncomfortable.

What was his response to your concerns?

**devisarada** · 13 September 2007, 10:44 PM

Originally Posted by meez

What was his response to your concerns?

When I expressed my concerns diplomatically over the phone, he did not react. However, I sent him an email today, telling him directly that I have been churning these issues for quite some time , and that

I worship the Divinity within my Guru, not his personality or humanness

I worship the Perfection within my Guru, not his personality or humanness, and that I hope he can accept that.

He has not responded as yet.

I would prefer to have a guru who has more humility, and would not allow himself to be referred to as
"His Divine Holiness" on posters and event notices sent out to the public.

For me this smacks of hubris to an unacceptible degree.

Even the Dalai Lama and the Pope are referred to only as "His Holiness" I don't think that he has earned the title of "His Divine Holiness"

**devisarada** · 13 September 2007, 10:47 PM

Originally Posted by Eastern Mind

I think others gave great answers to this very seeking question. It would cause a lot of reflection for me. How long have you been a devotee of this particular guru? In other words, there is loyalty, and if the differences are relatively minor... well. I would sit back and watch how others are treated, if there is any room for disagreement, and look closely at the nature of the relationship. I think there are good dharma teachers who you can learn a lot from on an intellectual level, and then there are satgurus who do most of their teaching from the inside, and can answer your questions and provide guidance without you even knowing it, on so many levels. In the end, only you can answer your own question. No one else is there, and has had your experiences, and in my experience, experience itself is THE great teacher. My guru often said "go lean on your own spine." which pretty much sums up my thoughts.

I do feel a sense of loyalty, and for me , a guru/shishya relationship is similar to a marriage: you don't get out at the first sign of trouble. So I have stated my concerns to him, and I am awaiting a reply.

Thanks for your concern and your excellent advice.

**meez** · 14 September 2007, 09:03 AM

Originally Posted by devisarada

When I expressed my concerns diplomatically over the phone, he did not react. However, I sent him an email today, telling him directly that I have been churning these issues for quite some time , and that

I worship the Divinity within my Guru, not his personality or humanness

I worship the Perfection within my Guru, not his personality or humanness, and that I hope he can accept that.

He has not responded as yet.

I would prefer to have a guru who has more humility, and would not allow himself to be referred to as
"His Divine Holiness" on posters and event notices sent out to the public.

For me this smacks of hubris to an unacceptible degree.

Even the Dalai Lama and the Pope are referred to only as "His Holiness" I don't think that he has earned the title of "His Divine Holiness"

I completely understand. If you feel uncomfortable with the situation, and you believe that you can find another Guru/Teacher that will help you learn in a manner you are comfortable with, I say go for it. I certainly don't see the harm in that. You have expressed your concerns, so there won't be any confusion as to your decisions, and if you handle things with compassion and kindness, you should be just fine. Good luck my friend, I wish you the best. Be well.

**devisarada** · 14 September 2007, 09:21 AM

Originally Posted by meez

I completely understand. If you feel uncomfortable with the situation, and you believe that you can find another Guru/Teacher that will help you learn in a manner you are comfortable with, I say go for it. I certainly don't see the harm in that. You have expressed your concerns, so there won't be any confusion as to your decisions, and if you handle things with compassion and kindness, you should be just fine. Good luck my friend, I wish you the best. Be well.

Pranam, Meez and everyone else who has helped me clarify my dilemma.

It is good to have input from different perspectives when you are not sure of your decision. I have decided to maintain the "Official" guru/shishya relationshop with him for now. Until I find a more suitable guru.

When this man offered to by my Guru, I was overwhelmed that anyone could think that I was worthy of being his devotee. My husband and I had a meeting with him at his home, and we were both impressed at the time. However, as we got to know him, we became less and less comfortable. So I have learned my lesson, the next guru I accept will be one that I have gotten to know very well before I commit to Guru Diksha again.